Morning Meditation - Perspective

 Morning Meditation™️. Our perspective creates much of our existence and experience. Govern yourself mindfully. ✨

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Morning Meditation - Celebrate Different

 Morning Meditation™️. Perspective - I speak of it often. Different, when accepted as part of the general challenges of living becomes celebratory. ✨

#HealingMorning  #MorningMeditation  #Perspective  #ShiftYourThinking  #CelebrateTheJourney

Morning Meditation - Plot Twists!

 Morning meditation™️. The human experience is full of plot twists and ironic humor! ✨

#HealingMorning™️  #MorningMeditation™️  #GoodNewsBadNews  #HumanExperience  #IronicHumor  #Perspective

Morning Meditation - Exercise Kindness

 Morning meditation™️. Be kind, always. ✨

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Morning Meditation - Conversations With Friends: Far Enough Away

 Morning meditation™️ - This is a new series I have dibbed Conversations With Friends™️ at Healing Morning™️. Perspective, distance, & deliberate, intentional healing go hand in hand, I have found. ✨

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...of all that is...

photo:  www.wenelo.com

In this month of April 2016, I see 2015 as a curious year.  As I look back on it now, I feel a sense of distance that goes beyond the linear mark.  I don't know if that is true detachment, or if it is a shell of self-preservation.  Only time will tell with that.

I lost a large number of people extremely close to me in 2015. Death was not particular about those chosen, taking both family and dear, life long friends in high numbers.  Looking back on that aspect of 2015, I am stunned at the list of those who transitioned, and I am equally stunned that I weathered that many losses and managed to keep hold of equanimity, acceptance and sanity. 

Of course, loss of sanity always surrounds us in the immediacy of loss through physical death, and I am not ashamed to admit that I had many dark nights of the soul because of those losses.

On the other end of the spectrum, I had triumphs.  I experienced love.  I shared my heart with sincerity and honesty, offering my deepest, truest self.  For some moments, that part of me was met and embraced, and I can look back on those moments with clear eyes that see shining beauty.

I stumbled many times, with repercussions of a most recent set of stumbles still playing out.  I am unsure of the direction those unexpected, haphazard, shocking, sometimes ripping and hurtful experiences will take me.

The only thing that I know at this moment is that I am learning and growing as a result.  I am continuing to take the next breath. That is all any of us can do when we absorb the stunning impact of disappointment and betrayal - we take that next step, breathe that next breath, and repeat the process in a numbed state until we are able to tentatively begin settling back inside ourselves.  Back inside from where we flew off and established that state of protection and detachment.

Perhaps that is actually what is happening.  I am settling back inside myself, reacquainting, realigning, reassembling, building and stitching together the old with what I brought back from the outside, from the distance and the quiet.

I often think that what we view as coming undone is the real making of us, because it forces us to release all those pieces of detritus that had been slowing us down, had been holding us back, had been slowly dulling our brilliance.

What prompted this article when it has been such a long time since I have written here?  I was busy the other day, in the midst of networking and focusing on career issues, and a random thought crossed my mind.  A question jumped from those thoughts, and I picked up my cell phone to call a dear friend.  Because I was doing so many things at once, juggling so many proverbial balls, I got all the way through scrolling through my contacts and clicking through to dial that phone number before reality slapped me sideways.  I remembered in a crashing rush that that friend is gone.  He died in September of 2015.

The inevitable avalanche of emotions flowed.  I went through a miniature version of the grief process, shed some tears, rode the wave of colorful memories that had me laughing along with the tears, because this friend always, always made me laugh.  And I pondered this life I'm living.  I pondered the curious process we live here on this Earth School.

I came up with no bright, unique answers.  No startling discoveries have hit my personal horizon. I find that the older I get, the more liquid becomes the process of accepting death, and of accepting change.  When I was wee, life was very finite and defined.  Black and white.  With age comes new perspective and perception, and all those infinite shades of gray.

I have no idea what the year of 2016 will bring for me, even as I sit here well into the fourth month of this year.  What I do know is that 2015 underscored in a dramatic fashion what we all know, and that is that nothing is promised to each of us.  Tomorrow is not promised.  The next moment is not promised, nor is the next breath.

In the span of all that is, each life lived on this planet is akin to the blink of an eye.  

We are such a brief expression of love and energy in physical form, it is another curious moment for me to ponder why we waste so much time.  We get bogged down in so many fears and doubts.  I have allowed myself to become entangled in my own fears and doubts, and I have participated and engaged in fears and doubts of those closest to me.  From that engagement, I have stumbled.  As I am regaining my balance from those stumbles, the clarity gained is of a quiet tone.  In that quiet, I am studying and processing, and making decisions.

I am aware of what I will no longer entertain.  I am aware of what I will no longer indulge.  I am cognizant in a manner that I have not experienced in a great while.  I am aware of promises that I made to myself ages ago, promises which have patiently waited for me to pick them up and breathe life into them....breathe life into ME.

This all sounds so ponderous and dramatic, yes?  In some ways, perhaps it is, but another curious note is that these shifts and realizations haven't hit with thundering impact.  They have slipped in gently, with very little fanfare.  Layers of myself have surrendered to being pared away, lifted up to the winds that swirl around only me, separating me from the old, and brushing, whispering change across my face....across my soul.  I have turned, eyes closed, a slowly spinning dance of release.

In that span of all that is, that which we label Infinity, here I am....expressing all that I am.  Doing my humble, human best to radiate Love outward.  Brushing fingertips with those of you who visit here, our eyes locking for a glance, our hearts marching to an identical rhythm for an instant.  And as the quote above offers....

....and in that moment, I swear....

WE WERE INFINITE....

For now, this knowing, this acceptance of NOT knowing....it is enough. 

Carpe Happy, Y'all

Every writer has their own unique fingerprint, their own style and manner of inspiration which they pour into their work.  I am of the Magpie variety of writer when it comes to gathering inspiration.  I can literally be inspired by anything under the sun.  Those of you of similar nature will nod in understanding when I say that I will scribble down a fragment of a thought, or a snippet of conversation, sometimes just a single word, or a song lyric on any available surface.  Paper napkins, chewing gum wrappers, receipts, envelopes, pieces of cardboard....anything that will hold written words that hit in a firestorm of inspiration is utilized so that I don't lose that moment of clarity.  Magpies, for those of you not familiar, are birds who are entranced by anything sparkly, shiny or unusual.  They will collect such objects and take them to weave into the structure of their nests, making a unique, bright, cozy and sparkling home for themselves and their mates.

Most of my closest friends and family members have become accustomed to the fact that they're fair game and fodder for my Magpie imagination.  Any given conversational moment will trigger my Magpie reflex and off I go, frantically searching for something to dash off a series of handwritten notes for content of a future blog post, or a manuscript concept.

Recently, someone close to me uttered what I found to be a shining statement:

"Carpe happy, young lady."

This statement came through a series of texts on a lazy weekend evening, and as indicated above, it struck my Magpie reflex.  I thought, "What a great suggestion!  I want that on a t-shirt!"  As I am wont to do in such moments of inspiration, I studied the above suggestion.  It kept calling to me as I worked through some personal thoughts.  So, I kept coming back to it, circling around, pausing to study from this angle and that plane.  The more I studied it, the more I could hear a deeper message entwined in the words.

The suggestion itself was a delightful moment of whimsy from a friend. I still smile at the sentiment behind the words.  Taken at face value, it is an excellent and valuable suggestion!  In essence, and translation, it means, "Seize the happy."  As I had been experiencing a rather bubbly, happy afternoon to the point of the happy overflowing, I was driven to share with that friend in a bouncy, rollicking, cheerful text conversation.  Little did I know that the suggestion would, indeed, hold deeper meaning and lessons.

I've said it many times before - I excel at getting in my own way.  I will analyze the fool out of a situation, pick at it, poke at it, dissect it relentlessly until I come to whatever personal conclusion is necessary for me to feel satisfied that I fully understand that situation.  It's a protection mechanism, I fully admit this.  It gives me distance and lets me apply an almost clinical perspective.  Sometimes this serves a very good purpose, because cooler heads and calm logic prevailing definitely hold value.  It can also, however, become its own double edged sword, causing focus on negatives to the exclusion of all else....of searching for a solution that might not even be available yet, and thus, inflicting a sort of needless limbo.

On the heels of my happy afternoon, I found myself on the verge of doing that very thing...getting in my own way out of a knee jerk emotional reaction.  I was on the verge of projecting a whole boatload of negative possibilities and getting wound up in a completely unnecessary manner.  Negative possibilities which, mind you, hadn't even occurred and might not EVER occur.  Yet there I was, angsting and worrying those possibilities into near manifestation.  Law of Attraction precepts indicate that that which we focus attention on is that which we can and do manifest, so that reminder was a valuable wake up call for me.

It took me a while to recognize and identify where all of this "stuff" was coming from and what emotional triggers had been tripped, but once I did identify them, I immediately cut the cycle.  I realized that I was right on the precipice of pouring old energies, negative ones at that, into a new experience.  And I saw immediately how damaging that behavior could be if I allowed myself to continue.  It was a poor past habit that was attempting to bully its way back in and set up housekeeping.

So, I stopped it.  I cut the cycle and I shifted my immediate attention back to brighter thoughts.  It wasn't easy to begin with, because fear based thinking lifts its ugly head when we're the most vulnerable, when we're on the verge of stepping into a new experience that is scary and challenging on an emotional level.  I don't know many people who enjoy the sensation of being vulnerable - I know that I sure don't.  But this time, I reeled in the fear based thoughts and did not allow them to sink toxic tentacles into this new experience.  And the fascinating part was that within literally ten minutes of addressing this within myself, being honest, identifying the negative pattern attempting to emerge and blasting it out of existence, I had something occur that was almost instantly reassuring, instantly positive, instantly encouraging.  The relief and clear recognition of how each conscious thought, step and action had its own equal and opposite and positive reaction was lovely.

My decision with all of this nudges me to a behavior that I tend to not embrace that often, and that is living in the Now.  I'm much better at planning things to a meticulous level, because it is another protective mechanism.  That being said, this moment of epiphany clearly showed me that there is a great deal of merit in  living in the Now and being appreciative of each present moment.  For me, that behavior requires stepping out of old habits and patterns.  I'm quite good at living in the Now when it comes to writing, but the true LIVING part of it, well, I admit that I dance around that one and shy from it much more than I embrace it.

It took some work on my part and a conscious choice to be brave, along with being vulnerable.  I'm still not altogether comfortable with that mix - bravery and vulnerability - but I'm stepping forward anyway. And I'm doing it in the mindset suggested above:  Carpe happy, young lady!

I believe this is going to become a new mantra for me.  It carries such a happy, lighthearted message, tone and vibration.  When I read the words, my heart is immediately lifted up and my lips tilt in an irresistible smile.  It prompts such a nice, zippy, bubbly energy that I was driven to share it with you here, and being a southern belle of sorts, I simply cannot resist tweaking the message to embrace you all:

Carpe happy, y'all! :)