The Manifestation of Wellness

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I spent the greater part of the month of August 2010 very ill with what started out as strep and quickly morphed into pneumonia.  This isn't unusual for my body, as I've been susceptible to strep since childhood and also have a weakness when it comes to pneumonia.  I mentioned this very thing to a Facebook friend who is very spiritually centered and she shared that on a spiritual level, strep is very useful and intentional with burning off of old karmic energy.

This captured my attention because it is a concept I have noticed and paid closer attention to as I have become more spiritually focused in my own life over the years.  I learned to recognize that, quite often, when I would leave an old job where I had been for way too long, I would become very ill.  I recognized that this seemed to be my body's way of releasing all the pent up, stagnant, negative energy patterns that had existed with that old job.  It can be a dramatic act for the body to become seriously ill, but at times it is necessary.  Can we manage, on our own and without illness to release the same level of negative energy?  Most likely, we can, but I daresay it would take us much longer to achieve.  Illness, by its very nature, is a bright, fast burning fire that consumes everything in its path and aggressively purges the body on every imaginable level.

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On a mundane approach - think of what illness accomplishes.  It forces us to STOP....fully and completely.  We are usually bedridden for at least a couple of days, wherein rest is accomplished with sleep and literal inactivity.  We sleep a great deal.  We replenish our bodies with nourishing foods and liquids, and if we're gracious enough, we allow loved ones to cater to us and express care and devotion.  Our hearts lap up the attention and respite from the hectic pace of the business world, and for a short period of time, we rejuvenate on myriad levels. 

The spiritual and karmic side of things are ones that we cannot see with the naked eye, unless we choose to do so.  It is more of a feeling, a sense of change occurring that may not make itself evident in the midst of illness - we're focusing more at that moment on how badly we feel!  Afterwards, as recovery begins, if we do pay attention, we notice a lightness of being.  An inner feeling of closure, of cleansing, of releasing and of peace that has been brought about by the moment of illness. 

It is something to ponder, of a certainty.  For me, as a freelance writer, it is of vital importance to always be searching for new projects and contracts; to always be sourcing new avenues of work, connecting with new business contacts, networking...always working, working, working to keep forward momentum in my personal work pipeline.  When I contracted strep, this process came to a screeching halt.  I stopped everything, simply because strep hits my system violently, and the ensuing stages of pneumonia are virulent and aggressive.  I find that I cannot focus my mind enough to write.  My blog posts came to an equal screeching halt, which also meant that the websites and ezines where I am a contributing writer were all put on hold.  This concerned me, as it meant that active attention to my blog - which is a business calling card of sorts for me as a writer - also came to a definitive stop.  I had topics for blog articles in mind, but I simply could not focus enough to write the content.  All I could focus on was getting through the stages of being ill. 

So, as my Facebook friend reminded me, strep and pneumonia had a purpose.  There was a greater reason at hand that I became ill in the month of August, than just for the face value of strep going around my hometown.  What is this greater reason?  What is the purpose behind my whole life grinding to a ceremonious stop for a whole calendar month?  At the moment, I don't know the answers to those questions.  I do know that this time of illness has been very purposeful in burning off karma.  I recognize that this moment of illness drew a proverbial line in the sand, cutting off the past and burning it away via fever and bodily dis-ease.  I celebrate this fact, as it means that past struggles have been jettisoned....literally burned away and purged from both my physical and spiritual bodies. 

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There is a phenomenon in forest fires that comes to mind as an analogy here....conifer trees have their seeds deep within the fruits, or pinecones, of the tree.  These seeds can only be released by intense heat, which melts the resin that seals the pinecones and cracks them open, allowing the seeds, or gymnosperm, to fall to the forest floor.  The only time an intense level of heat occurs in forests is when a fire happens.  This is when new seeds are released and germinate to produce new trees.  It makes complete sense to me that illness, which generally carries a high fever as one of the common symptoms is necessary for our bodies to release a type of seed...planting, as it were, new dreams, new desires and beginning new stages of growth.

Dramatic illness sweeps out all the cobwebs and presents a new, clean slate for me to write on...again, literally.  I know that new doors are opening as a result of this enforced inactivity and healing.  The past difficulties, disappointments and frustrations have been cleansed from my existence and if I embrace this concept, there is nothing to stop me from writing this new chapter as I choose.  This is the true challenge - to stay clearheaded and bright in personal purpose.  I can choose to stay clear and free of negative mindset and old, kneejerk reactions that I have allowed to drag me down or self-sabotage in the past.  Subconsciously and spiritually, my body and my Soul recognized that it was time to purge those very things and engaged in the process of illness to enact this purging. 

It may come across as a novel, or even bizarre concept to embrace that at some level we invite illness into our bodies.  I believe this is a strong truth, and I believe there is purpose behind every single illness and physical injury we experience.  Many ancient esoteric concepts espouse the fact that the physical breaking of a limb releases enormous amounts of negative karmic energy.  If we accept this concept, it becomes a bit more challenging to believe that 'accidents' are truly random.  I, personally, do not believe in accidents.  I believe that everything does happen to us for specific reasons and that Divine Order exists in all of these applications. 

So, as I recover from this rather lengthy illness, I am mindful.  I am paying attention to how I feel as I recuperate.  I am noting the freshness and lightness of my inner and outer self.  I am eager to step into this new phase, this new chapter, this new experience in my life and see what new stories are yet to be written.  Cycles....the eddies of a pebble dropped into a still pool....the bands of light that refract from a prism....the waves of sound and color billowing out from our personal auras....it all dances together to produce a new reality. 

Illness can be cathartic - cleansing - burning off old karmic energy.  Why not choose to accept and embrace that concept, and find purpose in this moment?  It is what I choose to do on a personal level.  I see this month as a gentle nudge from God/Universe that now is the time for change to sweep in, first through the burning, encompassing hand of illness to prepare and weave a new canvas.  And next, for me to release the emotional ties to habits, beliefs and actions that no longer serve a positive purpose.  With these conscious choices and hallmarks recognized, I am being empowered...blessed, some would say....with the ability to move forward in new, different, positive and much more powerful energy.  In this knowledge, I embrace the illness I experienced and I give thanks for its presence and its purpose.  Many, many layers of what and who I was have been lifted away and I bid them a wave of farewell, honoring what they brought, while consciously choosing to never again embrace those habits.  Will this be easy to do?  It can be if I decide it to be so.

My newly buffed physical and spiritual presence is here and how I step forward in this clean state is of paramount importance.  I realize I am creating a new blueprint.  Am I saying we should all greet illness with a spry step and joyful heart?  Absolutely not!  I haven't enjoyed being sick for a whole month - this is not what I am saying here.  More to the point, I am shedding light on the reasons behind certain types of illness.  There is a purpose to how our bodies behave, and there is reason and order here. As I age and continue to learn, I am captivated with the fact that I find usefulness in areas that many would dismiss out of hand as a pure waste of time.  This day, I smile as I write about the usefulness and purpose of illness...and the growth it encourages.  Light can be found in many dark moments, if we choose to look for it. 

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While being ill is never a pleasant experience, the result can be profound.  Days, weeks or months from now, I shall be able to look back on this month of August 2010 and see the perfect order of it all.  Today, it is unclear what doors are opening, but I am aware with immense clarity that this month of illness has been not only a purging and cleansing, but a preparation for beauty to manifest.  One might go so far as to call it the manifestation of wellness!