Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What do you do when....

Photo:  http://www.siaphoto.com/
What do you do when you can't breathe?  When something occurs that literally strips the breath from your body and you're suspended in that polarizing moment, gasping.  This can take many forms.  Some beautiful, some incredibly raw and angry, some reaching a level of sublime happiness, and others so steeped in sadness that  it is beyond words to express.

That moment, when the air is taken from us seems to last an endless forever.  Our minds and emotions seize up in a sort of shock as we grapple to understand the enormity of the moment.  A whole slew of physiological effects set in...pupils dilating, heart rate increasing, fingertips and lips going slightly numb, slightly tingling, goosebumps hitting at times, sweating occurring at others, stomach twisting and pitching, laughter bursting from us in a glorious ripple of smiling notes, or gut wrenching sobs the next sound we're capable of making. 

Most of the time when this happens, we are forever changed.  Uplifted at times, devastated at others.  It's one of those very pure moments when everything narrows down to a literal pinpoint of focus.  From that one breath suspended, to that next moment when we finally inhale again, the world changes.  We change.  A remarkable shift occurs.

It's a curious thing, how all that we are, who we are, can change in such a blinding, rapid manner.  It can happen in a fleeting rush, barreling upon us in a wild, dramatic swirl.  Or it can slip through and brush softly as a whisper.  Regardless of the delivery, it is profound and dramatic.

We experience it from the hands of another....from the words of another.  Or from our own initiative.  Sometimes it is a moment in Nature.  Or a song lyric.  A fragrance that teases the heart and the memory.  A touch so sincere that we cannot resist it.  And we are undone.  Unraveled, or conversely, wound so tightly, so quickly, that we must shatter into a million pieces of delight or maddened grief.

Peace walks these same halls.  As does love.  They both grab the breath from us, lifting up and embracing us in an inestimable manner. 

What do you do when you can't breathe?  You endure it.  Or you celebrate it.  You continue to live, accepting that infinitesimal moment that has shifted everything that you are into a new person.  And you are born anew, taking fumbling steps, uncertain on wobbly knees and feet.  Pared down to your elemental self, vulnerable, naked and alone, and seeing the world through brand new eyes.

What do you do when you can't breathe and the cold vapor of that crashing experience stuns you?  You momentarily become a creature of ice, shards of silvered frost entwining throughout your very cells, turning you crystalline.  Waiting for a touch to warm and melt you back to humanity.

Waiting for a touch to enfold.  To stutter-start your breath again.

There in an indefinable space that simultaneously lasts both a nanosecond and a limitless, echoing eternity...what do you do?  You feel.  Simply that. 

You feel.


28 comments:

  1. Dawn - I love this post!

    An observation...that infinitesimal moment of lost breath, in happiness or tragedy does very much linger. In grief and sadness, wounds take time and attention to heal. In happiness there is a lingering sensory memory.

    I will relate this to something that happened today.

    I was having lunch with a friend who got a bit of sandwich lodged in her throat. I jumped from my seat to perform the Heimlich on her. She was panicked as one could imagine, but we cleared her airway and she was safe. The point is that in that moment she (both of us) experienced lives flashing before us and a trauma to say the least. In the moment after...there was a lingering joy that all was well, and she was safe.

    The story...literally about ones breath being taken away resonates here, and both the pain and joy were present in a finite time.

    Great post.

    Thank you,
    Ron

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    1. Ron, I'm glad you were there for your friend in that moment, and that all was well. This topic is one that flowed, fully realized, in about a 10 minute span. One of those feverish rushes to get the words out, and then delight when reading back to find it flowed on screen as it did in my mind.

      Thank you for sharing your story as well! :)

      - Dawn

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  2. Oh girl, you have nailed it! Poetry in these words. But for me over the past few weeks, pathos. I won’t harp on it, but there are moments that crush the spirit. That steal the creative breath. Stress does that. Have you ever felt like you were locked in a pressure cooker?
    When you can feel this much pain, you are capable of feeling equal joy; that's the good news. As Kahlil Gibran puts it,

    The deeper that sorrow carves into your
    being, the more joy you can contain.

    Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

    And is not the lute that soothes your
    spirit, the very wood that was hollowed
    with knives?

    When you are joyous, look deep into
    your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is givingyou joy.

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    1. Oh my, Debra, how beautiful! Gibran is another one of those "stop your breath" artists, don't you think?! I've been spanning a wide range of emotions this past week, and this article was the culmination of that wide range. Not one specific emotion, but many, and each capable of stopping my breath...and changing me, growing me up, shifting me. I had to give it voice.

      "Poetry in these words". You honor me, darling girl. This one flowed in that manner, so I'm smiling that you recognize it.

      Much, much love to you! <3

      - Dawnie

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  3. I find it so very difficult to "just feel" during those moments that test us to our very core. Thank you for these beautifully written words that are wrapped in love and experience. They will have a healing effect on others as well. It is always the "Simple" isn't it :). You know I love ya my Dawnie Girl!

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    1. Janie, you made me tear up. I hope this one offers healing. That's what I intended when I wrote it, and I wondered if it would make sense or be too "out there" for some. You know me, how those posts are the ones I tend to angst over the most before getting brave enough to publish. When I do, though, I usually find they're the ones that resonate the most strongly.

      Feeling is never easy! In fact, I will go so far as to say that feeling is not for the faint of heart - it takes some serious bravery. You're walking that path, Janie-girl. I am waving at you as I walk with you. <3

      - Dawnie

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  4. Oh, those breathless moments in life which you have described so perfectly and eloquently here, Dawn.
    "You feel. Simply that. You feel."
    In the moment, grand or horrific, to say yes to all that we are experiencing, to embrace it even when we can't catch our breaths.
    Blessings and thanks for this marvelous post!

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    1. Martha, I just returned from your blog and find it fascinating how similar our thoughts were! I mentioned the hymn, "Peace, be still" over there to you and I think it applies here, also.

      "...to embrace it even when we can't catch our breaths"....such a good point! That process of living consciously can be challenging, but oh, so worth it in the end! I love it when you visit, sweetheart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      - Dawn

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  5. I'm not sure I've ever felt one of these moments.

    Let me re-phrase that. I'm sure I have. I just have no memory of them. Either I was lost in the moment, or it just didn't register in my conscious brain enough for me to remember it.

    Either way, this post is a beautiful post that I will remember if I ever do find myself in that situation.

    Assuming I think to do that, of course. Because if it's happened before and my brain locked out all rational thought, who's to say it won't happen that way again?

    I know that you know me as an emotional being, Dawnie, but sometimes (like after reading this post), I wonder if I've only recently become this way or whether I may have lost or just never acknowledged this type of thing before.

    A sort of emotional blindness where I've had something covering my eyes for years and it's only recently been taken away.

    I'm finding recently that I'm having to re-learn a lot of things that I thought I knew about love and friendship, and I wonder if this is part of that process.

    Thank you for a gorgeous post.

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    1. Dave, thank you for the wonderful comment. I always enjoy your thoughts on the ones where I go off on my tangents. :)

      Honestly, I don't know if everyone is aware of this type of thing when it's happening. Perhaps it's more of a retrospective thing? I tend to notice it when it's happening to me, but we both know I analyze the fool out of things. This was the culmination of a lot of recent and past experiences kind of laying over one another. And it got me thinking, and when I start thinking, we know I'm going to start writing.

      I'm glad you enjoyed this one, because for me, it was one of the magical ones. "Gorgeous post", huh? I like that, because that's how it felt when I was writing it.

      Loving you, buddy! :)

      - Dawnie

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  6. So you're saying that I'm *not* strange? Well, stranger than you already thought? :P

    Good. :)

    Loving you too!

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    1. LOL...define "strange". The Theory of Relativity rules the day w/ that one, my friend! I think I'm strange, to be honest, because I do tend to look at life differently and then I write from that different perspective. So it always pleases me when the more "out there" topics are well received. We can be strange together. Deal? ;o)

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  7. Hey Dawn,
    I was here yesterday and left a comment, but today my comment is no where in sight. I imagine I must have neglected to hit "post." LOL!
    Anyway, this one really hit home as earlier yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend and she was telling me about how fear had taken her breath away. Wow! I know it wasn't a coincidence that directly after she said that to me I came here and found this post.
    Beautifully written and full of heart, your post was spot on and timely. How do you do that? LOL!! Thanks for this one girl.
    Sending love!

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    1. LOL...Leah, I don't know how I do it, but you're not the first person to mention me doing it! I guess I seem to feel what many are feeling? Or we're all much more similar than we would imagine? Whatever the case, this was one of those that I was hesitant to post because it was so personal and also a bit abstract. I've learned over time that when I feel hesitant to post something, that's the one that people need to read/hear the most.

      I'm so happy this resonated for you! Did you share it with your friend? If so, I hope it was of value to her, also.

      As for the poofing comments, that's been happening to me for a while and I can't figure it out. Another friend commented on a FB post that she had commented here, but it isn't showing up, AND I didn't receive an email notification that she OR you posted a comment. I hope whatever that glitch is, it gets fixed soon.

      Thank you for taking time to visit and comment twice, sister! I'm receiving your love and bouncing it right back to you with extra sunshine hugs. <3

      - Dawnie

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  8. Dawn, Wow, am I glad you stopped by my blog and introduced yourself! I love your blog and was taken with the title of your last post, Carpe Happy! Wonderful! I've joined as a follower and I "liked" you! I look forward to reading more, and I see on your blog list several blogs that sound interesting, so I'll be checking those out, too. Thanks again. This is great!

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    1. Hi Galen, thank you for visiting in return! It's one of my favorite things to discover new-to-me bloggers & begin forging a connection, particularly when that connection is with a like-minded person. I hope you enjoy the "Carpe Happy" post, as it was one of those sublimely lovely ones to write. Thank you for following and Liking my blog; I look forward to many happy hours of reading & visiting w/ you. :)

      - Dawn

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  9. How funny - we tackled the same topic.. I don't let fear stop me, but it will hold me in the gate for a while. Half the time I wonder what I was worried about because it's never as hard or horrible as I think it's going to be. The mind can play tricks on the heart, or is that the other way around. I am pleased to have met you and looking forward to more reading here..

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    1. Brenda, I know - there always seems to be a strong thread of commonality where several of us hit on a similar topic and write it out. The "just feel" part is challenging, but I've learned over a lifetime that it really is the best approach. I can't understand what I'm experiencing unless I plumb the depths of the attendant emotions. And I'm always determined to understand, because knowledge is power and growth. Thank you so much for visiting & I, too, look forward to more reading together. :)

      Namaste',

      Dawn

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  10. What a beautiful post! I really enjoyed this...I'm going to share it on fb. Yes, in those moments, often amazing as they bring transformation and a shift of awareness, often brutal in the their blinding brilliance and beauty..painful even, one must simply endure and feel. I just stand and try to observe and not interpret, andjust let the feelings, thoughts, wash over me as my awareness opens ever more wider.

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    1. Jessica, you nailed it! That's exactly what I was attempting to convey. Just feel. Simply do that, without expectations, doubts, wrestling the emotions into order or anything else. Just feel and let it fall into place. In fact, that's what I did with writing this article - the emotions were there. My breath had stopped, figuratively, and I just went with it and felt it all. And I wrote it out.

      Thank you for visiting; thank you even more for sharing! Now I get to treat myself with visiting you in return. :)

      - Dawn

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  11. Oh my! You just took my breath away with this post dear! It is funny that we have similar physical reactions to things good and bad that happen to us. I think one of the first things I do when faced with heavy emotions of either sort is to pray or at least take some deep breaths. We can be come so overwhelmed positively or negatively that our brains shut down! In those moments we can do something impulsive or dangerous if we aren't thinking clearly.

    Hmmm, I wonder what has happened to you recently to make you write this. Wink, wink. :-)

    Hopefully it is something good. Thanks for these beautiful words and reflections dear heart!

    My new blog post! - When Writer's Collide: My Fantasy Author Mashups http://bit.ly/LnJqDy

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    1. LOL...oh my goodness, you and I are coming to know and intuit one another so well, Tameka! Good things are happening, sister-mine. They're just requiring me to step outside that proverbial comfort zone and be brave enough to adapt and change.

      We're definitely alike with the praying/breathing reflex when big things hit. I think the knee jerk reaction is to flee, or panic, but I've learned over a lifetime that stopping and truly feeling the feelings is what serves me best. It can be uncomfortable for a wee, but it really is what I find works best. Feeling the feelings.

      Now I'm off to visit you in return! Thank you for the lovely comment, chickadee! <3

      - Dawn

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    2. Ha! Yes, I see that. We're becoming soul sister across the miles. It's so easy to flee in either case, good or bad, but it's always best to face the music and if it's good, dance to your heart's desire. If it isn't so good, what you learn from the situation may help you to write a new song in the future. :-)

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  12. Pardon my typos. Goodness. :-)

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    1. "If it isn't so good, what you learn from the situation may help you to write a new song in the future." Oh my, what a brilliant thought! Yes, yes, YES!!!

      I mentioned William Butler Yeats to you on your most recent blog post, Tameka, and I'll share on of my favorite quotes of his with you:

      "When two close kindred meet, what better than call a Dance." *sigh* :)

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  13. Swoon, love and smiles on this one dear girl! We are so in synch today it's scary! LOL! :-)

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  14. What do we do when we can't breath? I love the title of this post. I agree...we feel, but we also Breath! The shock or joy of the moment can take us into a place of awareness outside of ourselves in a nano second....changing in that moment how we feel. It can bring yo to your knees...either in joy, or draining you to the point that you feel like you are going to faint. It is a moment where the heart stops. When you take that first breath of awareness you feel numb. Then as you begin to breath you slowly start to make your way back to some semblance of sanity....feeling every nuance of what has taken place. The interesting thing is it can take place in both a positive or negative experience. This is a great post Dawn and definitely food for thought. It has many different levels and is so well written...loving your work sweet girl. Always....

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    1. Raven, thank you! Yes, it is all of these things, emotions, thoughts...and so much more that can't be expressed in words. We all experience those breathless moments, both the good and bad manifestations, but I think that ultimately, the growth that results is always a positive. Being self-aware is the key part of the process, and it comes in time. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, dear one. <3

      - Dawn

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