Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Snow paws

Photo:  www.wix.com
Change.  New experiences.  New people coming into our lives that perforce cause changes.  Many people love change!  I am not one of them, although it is an experience that I weather with much more Grace these days than I used to.  I'm good with it in my work environment and with my career; in fact, I actively pursue growth and change at that level.  I call it my Low Boredom Threshold and it keeps me pretty driven in that part of my life.

When it comes to personal areas, home life, relationships, heck no!  I tend to want to immediately dig my heels in.  Or, for those of you who grew up on Saturday morning cartoons, picture Bugs Bunny when someone is trying to force him through a door and all four paws cling tenaciously to the doorway.  Yep, that's me.  Wanting to hold on to the familiar with a vengeance.  I've gotten better with this as I've grown older, and I tend to joke about the degree of it I embrace these days.  Time has a way of whittling those rough edges away, after all.  But I admit I do still want to cling to the doorway at times.

I was talking with one of my dear sister-friends recently about this very thing and how I tend to react emotionally regarding very personal interaction.  This was what I shared:

You know what mental image I keep getting of myself?  I had this sweet Australian Shepherd dog named Kobay.  The first snow we had the first year I had her, she hid in her house.  I had to coax her out.  Sloooowly, she came out, but with each step, she lifted her paw, looked at it, shook it a bit to get rid of that foreign snow stuff, then looked at me, as though to say, "Eeeuuww. MOM!  That's new stuff. I don't LIKE it.  Make it go away!"
I.e.,  New.  Different.  Scary. Uncomfortable.  So, I'm doing the "get the snow off my paws" dance.
Does this sound familiar to any of you?   I actually find it rather humorous, the mental image, because it's an apt analogy for what I sometimes do.  Not always, and less and less as I grow into myself in an authentic manner, but it does happen, that old knee jerk reaction.  And yes, I admit I really do start to react that way at times when someone gets very close to me on an intimate emotional level.  That's scary stuff, after all!  It means that awful word, "vulnerability", is in the mix.  Well, quelle horror, shock and shudders!  WHO in their right mind enjoys being vulnerable?!  Certainly not I.  Mind you, I stop the behavior in its tracks when I recognize it starting to slip in, and that's what we're talking about here today.

The prequel post to this one would be "What do you do when" 5/22/2012, Healing Morning.  I recently experienced that moment of breath suspended and I let myself feel the feelings.  That took a while, took some pondering, took some allowing, took some releasing, took some growing and most assuredly, took some shifting and changing of Self.

Was it easy?  In some ways, yes.  We each have the option of making life experiences easy or difficult. Sometimes the emotions churn so hot and bright that we get distracted into thinking it has to be difficult and painful.  That's fear talking, of course.  It doesn't have to be anything, really.  Which is where that "just feel" part comes in.  When we do that, when we just feel, no turmoil need be experienced.  No fighting or grappling need be necessary.  They're feelings and they're meant to be felt!  What a concept, hmm??  Yet we spend a LOT of time, we humans, doing what another friend called "the high stepping freaky dance" when it comes to emotional stuff.  I call it the Snow Paw Dance, but it's basically the same thing.

My paws felt all weird and strange with that new stuff clinging to them and I wanted it to STOP RIGHT NOW.  I spent some time lifting each paw and attempting to shake that new stuff off, but it didn't work.  That new stuff is meant to cling to our paws and make an impression.  It forces us to feel the feelings, which is what is supposed to happen.  *sigh*  I know....if you're like me, you're thinking, "Really??  Are you SURE it's supposed to happen?  It feels strange.  I could be just as happy avoiding it."  That's my inner 5 year old speaking, or my inner puppy with snow paws, perhaps, and I don't indulge that knee jerk fear reaction for long.  I take a moment to recognize it and acknowledge the very human and understandable fear reaction, then I get down to the business of growth, learning and stretching my horizons.

This time when I got Snow Paw reaction, I was smart enough to chat with a friend and process the whole thing.  Luckily, I chose someone who doesn't cut me any slack and who kicks my booty (with love) when necessary.  Actually, she calls it yanking my tail to pull me down out of the tree I climbed up.  You know how kittens will do that, climb waaaay up high in a tree, realize just how high up they are, then start crying because they can't figure out how to get themselves down?  That's another analogy for what I was doing.  I got snow on my paws and I shot right up a tree to get away from it!  Then I needed a bit of an assist to get back down the tree, hence my sister-friend yanking my tail.

So, here I am, back on the ground.  As I look around me, the snow has melted and I think it's not so overwhelming to be here as was initially felt.  My paws might still be a wee wet and uncomfortable, but I'm back on the ground and I'm walking around in those feelings, getting used to the fit of them.  How do they feel?  New.  Different.  Scary.  Uncomfortable.  But there's also potential for them to become beyond comfortable and lovely.  If I let them, they can become one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced.

I'm going to stay here a while, I think.  Wet snow paws require some extra attention and personal grooming, after all.  In the process, I'm going to grow.  I can already see and feel that occurring.  Those who know me well are aware that I normally adore winter weather and snow.  It's when it hits out of season that it can throw a person off kilter a bit, but that's okay, because....

Snow out of season is one of the most spectacular experiences we can have.  

26 comments:

  1. Snow out of season—expect the unexpected. Dawnie, snow paws is such a precious analogy for resisting new experiences. This post is so chocked full of lessons that I could chew on it for a month, but the one big thing that hit me was the "feel the feelings" lesson. Don't make feelings into something horrible. Just feel them and then let them go. I believe by resisting feelings we wind up with a traffic jam of them waiting to be processed, and that's when we get ourselves into emotional trouble.

    I've got snow paws and I'm feeling the feelings...expecting something wonderful to grow from all this newness.

    Keep on dancing in the snow Dawn. It's your time to dance;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leah-love, you nailed it with the "traffic jam of resisted feelings" thought! And I adore dancing in the snow, as you're well aware. It was just that initial shock of it on my paws that threw me a wee bit, but I'm better now. And still dancing.

      I love that you have snow paws currently as well; and you should expect wonderful things to grow from it all. Being brave is key, I think. Unless we embrace that mindset, I think we miss a lot of beauty along the way.

      Much love to you, sweet girl, and keep dancing on your end. <3

      - Dawnie

      Delete
  2. Love the Bugs Bunny image of all fours clinging tenaciously to the doorway! I can see it! Because that’s me ;-) I resist change after having lived all the adventures I want to live. Now I prefer vicarious adventure, as in writing stories of my past life or creating new ones. Think Emily Dickinson, recluse.

    On resisting feelings… I say, when it’s winter, let it snow. Don’t put plastic geraniums in your outside window boxes. People know they’re fake. Embrace the snow.

    Thank you Dawn for fueling my creative fire with your own. You have a gift for this, you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Debra, I appreciate your perspective so much! There are those militant types out there who insist, aggressively so, on forcing others to do, be, think, feel, on their timetable, rather than on that individual's personal growth clock. I'll never be of that mindset; I will always embrace "live and let live".

      Vicarious adventure is still full of merit, and look at how you touch the world with your writing as a result. I am absolutely embracing the snow, dear one, and I'm enjoying it. Your comment on my ability to fuel your creative fire - that gave me a huge smile for the day! There's nothing better than that type of interaction between we writerly types. *waving my proverbial pen at you!*

      Much love,
      Dawn

      Delete
  3. Bus is the perfect visual for the anti-change person. I am one of those strange people who welcome change. It doesn't always come when I want it to come, and it usually takes it's sweet time or comes with a bit of unwanted nightmare, but it's always necessary. I feel when it's looming as well. Feels like a cold about to hit. Regardless of how you are feeling, you've captured both sides of emotional side of change beautifully. Nicely done..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brenda, what a wonderful comment you wrote. Yep, change is definitely a fickle creature, operating on an obscure agenda that we never can truly figure out! I find it intriguing that you can feel change approaching as well - sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person that notices these things! Yes, it can feel like a cold about to hit, and sometimes it does cause us to get sick as a result to burn off old, negative energies. I've blogged about that topic in the past as well.

      Thank you for visiting & leaving such an interesting thought!

      Namaste',
      Dawn

      Delete
  4. Dawn, I adore the analogy of the snow paws - what a perfect way to describe our reluctance when facing changes, especially personal ones.
    And, I do agree that we act like your puppy or a kitten up that tree out of fear - of the unknown, of losing control, of showing our hand, exposing the real "us" to the world. There's that old vulnerability factor again!
    But, as you have so beautiful expressed here, without change, there can be no growth. And, that's precisely what we need to live a full and vibrant life.
    Thanks for sharing your always inspiring thoughts!
    Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martha, I laughed when I realized I noted both puppy and kitten behavior! I guess both are apt analogies, because emotions do hit us in that tender, young spot on the emotional scale. "..of showing our hand, exposing the 'real' us..." Ohhh, those were two BIG ones and so true!

      Yes, the word 'vulnerability' is not a favorite of mine, but I accept that it's a necessary evil when it comes to personal growth. I don't like it one bit, but I know it's necessary. The good news is, we're rarely truly alone in that vulnerability. That other person is wrestling their own vulnerable, tender spots as well, and that's worth staying consciously aware of.

      Blessings to you in return! <3

      - Dawn

      Delete
  5. Dawn,
    I loved the comparison and it makes me wonder how I except change. I love change, but when I get hit by many challenges at the same time it doesn't throw my balance off. I would say that is when I call in the troops to help me.
    I loved this blog!
    Cathy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cathy, that's the beauty of life, I think...that we're all so richly different in our reactions and responses. I'm happy that you have troops to call in when change hits! That's a luxury that many don't have, so you're that much more richly blessed. Thank you for the wonderful comment! I am now looking forward to visiting you in return to see what fascinating info you're sharing with us currently. :)

      - Dawn

      Delete
  6. You know my paw-padded elf....We all get snow paws and we all need someone to yank our tails hard enough we bump our little butts on the branches as a spanking to remind us not to get up that darned nasty tree. ;-) I'm thankful we have sister-friends to do that for us once in a while. As much as it sucks and it does to have it done and to do it. (read it's gonna hurt me more than it does you lol) But snow paws are worth it, it is the only way we get to new places where we belong. Bless your heart, and mine, and all of us who look at our paws wondering wtf?! LOL Love this post Dawnie, but you knew I would <3 <3 <3 I'll yank your tail any day, and when my turn comes I'll hand you my tail too <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL...Tinker, this was a labor of love from that awesome conversation! It's a good thing you're accustomed to be being fair fodder for my writing after all this time. "...all of us who looked at our paws wondering wtf?" <--I loved that! Yep, there are moments where it is truly perplexing. That's where those sister-friends are invaluable. Furry fingered High Five (Paw), Tinker! And Alien, Love & Hummus, naturally. <3

      - Dawnie-Elf

      Delete
  7. This was an amazing post... awesome. I am one of those people who has resisted change in the past... now I embrace it, for all the change that has happened to me, always gets me closer to my potential. Wonderfully written:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness, Launna, what a wonderful thought! "Now I embrace it, for all the change that has happened to me, always gets me closer to my potential." I say this constantly when someone throws out a polarizing thought - I want that on a t-shirt!!! I literally got chills when I read that statement. It says it all, doesn't it? Getting closer to our potential, to that space of harmony, that's where we're all attempting to head on our respective paths.

      Now I'm looking forward to reading your blog, Launna, and to see what you create there. :)

      Namaste',
      Dawn

      Delete
  8. I don't like changes at all. They scare me and make me feel uncomfortable. I work in an embassy and I also teach at university. I panic whenever a new session will start because i will have to see new faces, I panic when they give me a different class. In the Embassy, the diplomats change regularly, and I also don't like that/ Even of I don't like my boss, I don't want him to leave

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nikky, I think you're not alone. We all probably feel this way and live in this type of holding on pattern. There was a time in my life where I stayed in negative situations - jobs, relationships - simply because the fear of change kept me paralyzed. Eventually, I moved out of that habit and began to open up to new experiences. I still put conscious effort into that new way of thinking because it's easy to backslide and fall back into painting myself into a very tight corner.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)

      - Dawn

      Delete
  9. Hi Dawn, I just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you on My Blog for the Reader Appreciation Award, Much Love <3
    http://nikkysstrengthandweakness-nikky44.blogspot.com/2012/05/sharing-love.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nikky, thank you so much! It's always a lovely thing to be appreciated and given recognition for something that is truly a labor of love. :)

      I will pop over to your blog & check out the award. Smiles to you! :)

      - Dawn

      Delete
  10. Excellent post Dawn! I would say that I deal with that same experience sometimes. It really depends on the situation at hand, because most times I am 'go with the flo' type of gal. I learned a long time ago that it takes so much more effort to fight the inevitable than it does to just find a way to deal with it. I believe a lot of that attitude has come with my age though, because I wasn't always this way ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, oh so true that with age comes wisdom about these issues! I wasn't always this way either, and as indicated with this post, sometimes I still wrestle this particular tiger. Not anywhere near as much as I once did, mind you, and that's the triumph of doing that conscious living thing. Being present, feeling the feelings, and making conscious tweaks...it becomes a positive habit and makes life so much more enjoyable. Thank you for visiting! :)

      - Dawn

      Delete
  11. Why do we as humans run away so quickly from those new strange feelings? Aren't we always asking people to respect our feelings? Or telling people how we feel, like it is more important than anything else in the world?

    We are feelers, we're suppose to (like you said) feel. No reason in running away from it because it will never go away. Perhaps in death but, in my experience as a medium, feelings don't go away then either.

    You'll be perfectly fine just make sure you don't lose all feeling in those paws in the snow or it could get as bad as it was when you first stepped in it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenni, how did I miss the fact that you're a medium?! I didn't know this! And now I want to know more details. :)

      My paws are fine, I'm happy to say. I got them all groomed and pretty and neat, and those new feelings are becoming comfortable. No snow in sight as I write this reply! In fact, there's a lot of sunshine splashing around and I'm basking in it. Thank you for visiting, chickadee! I loved your comments. :)

      - Dawn

      Delete
    2. Well we are fairly "new" friends so i can understand how you wouldn't know that. It's not like I talk about it constantly. In fact when I do speak about it, it is pretty low key and usually only family catch on. I come from at least 7 generations on my mom's moms side. You actually will eventually learn a lot about it as I am writing a book about my family's abilities including my daughters. I just don't have a date as to when it will be written or done for that matter. I am in the whole planning stages yet.

      Good to hear that your paws are groomed and snow free. Nobody wants to look at nasty paws... lol Sunshine is great, enjoy it and have a wonderful weekend Dawn.

      Delete
    3. LOL...no nasty paws, I swear! I'm very low key on my own abilities as well, primarily because I live right slap in the middle of the Bible Belt and you learn to pick your battles. It sounds like we have much in common on the spiritual side of things, so I look forward to getting to know you better.

      Happy weekend to you as well, sweet girl! :)

      Delete
  12. I love the image of the snow paws. Any image of a cute doggie works for me anyway. Animals are so beautiful. I do believe they are in existence for more than to be just pets. They are teachers.

    I can relate to being uncomfortable with change. But for me, it's bad change that rocks me. The loss of something. A job, a lover, friendships. A new job, relationship or city thrills me actually! I have always been the one that wants to go mountain climbing or bungee jumping or just up and move across the country. I love newness when I feel I'm learning something or gaining something.

    Change due to loss makes me feel like a big fat failure. Like I didn't do all I needed to do to make things constant. I take losses really hard. But change whether good or bad can be positive and I know I need to get better at processing bad change in a better way.

    I love how you say we have a choice in making life situations feel easy or difficult. I know you're right. I just need to figure out how better to do it! Thanks for this thought provoking post. I'm glad that you're down out of that big tall tree and back down here with us. Whatever is new or changing in your life I speak positivity over it. I'm praying the changes in time turn into peace. :-)

    http://lyricfire.typepad.com/lyric-fire/2012/06/lyric-fire-books-blogs-beautiful-beginnings-wnovel-update-book-expo-2012.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tameka, my apologies for the delay in reply! I've been behind from all the car issues, and am just now getting caught up.

      I admire that you embrace change so willingly! I admit that I am not like you in this regard, as moving is one of the things I loathe the most. A new job is exciting, though, and I do enjoy that process of digging into a new project.

      Yes, change due to loss can pack a painful wallop, but it definitely doesn't indicate we have failed. It just means we weren't supposed to continue in that experience. The frustrating part is that we don't get objectivity for a while - we have to get further down the road before we can look back and see clearly that that loss was possibly a good thing that happened. Cold comfort when things are scary and stressful, of course!

      Thank you for speaking positivity over my life, Tameka. That made me tear up because it shines a light on your own loving, giving nature. I speak equal positivity over you and your journey, because I'm walking right alongside.

      Much love to you, dear girl. <3

      - Dawn

      Delete

ShareThis