Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Quiet beauty

Photo courtesy of
Bing images
Most people who follow my blog know that I don't post daily, or even weekly at times.  I'm a proponent of writing when inspiration strikes.  There is nothing that frustrates me more than writing a blog just for the sake of being able to say I published X number of posts in a given week.  I want what I write to have meaning, rather than falling into that "So what?" category.  I've read many of those and often wonder if the authors of those blogs mean to project a tired, done to death premise, or not.  That's what drives me, to create something here at Healing Morning on a regular basis that leaves a lasting mark. 

In light of that very thought, I've been struggling in the past week to hit on a new topic and come up with content that felt new and fresh.  I do this with Christmas gifts as well, and while that may seem like an odd jump in thought, bear with me.  I'm a year-round shopper for Christmas gifts.  I enjoy finding that absolutely perfect gift for each loved one, and if I happen upon such a perfect item in January, or in August, then I purchase it and tuck it away.  The fun, for me, is hitting upon that divinely perfect gift for that loved one....the one that will make their eyes light up and an absurdly pleased and surprised smile to spread across their face.  Some years I miss the mark and find gifts that are pleasing, but aren't over the top perfect.  Obviously, I strive for the former, because it's just so much fun to find that right note.  I strive for that same perfect note with my writing here in my blog.

I want what I write to make my readers' eyes light up.  I want to paint a picture so strongly evocative with words that you will literally see what I'm describing in your mind's eye.  I want you to smell that freshly cut grass, feel the ache in your heart of a sad moment, experience that moment of standing on an East Tennessee mountainside, breathing in the clean air.  I want whatever concept I'm talking about to leave a permanent impression on your heart.  And this need had me pondering where my priorities should be.  Does every post have to have a wildly, impactful effect?  Or is a more subtle, softly communicated message just as powerful.  The answer is that both have equal, yet different merit.  Success isn't necessarily measured by a tangible yardstick.

Not long ago, I was watching some Oprah moment on television.  Oprah was talking about different musical artists and authors who hit the public eye in an epic manner with their first attempt - the first album sold tens of millions of copies, or their first published book hit the New York Times Best Seller List and stayed there for endless weeks.  These people then spend decades chasing that phenomenon, hoping to reproduce the same result.  The reality is that sometimes it isn't always possible to hit that perfect note every single time.  Sometimes, doing a really good job should be enough. 

This is something I've contemplated a great deal in the past ten days or so, as I've searched for the next topic to write about.  I have about eight blog articles in my drafts folder that are not bad efforts at all, but that also just feel sort of blah to me.  I don't know about other bloggers out there, but most likely all of us live in mortal fear of publishing blogs that present a blah energy.  In fact, it bothers me so much that I will go longer than most without posting new content, simply because nothing is really hitting that high standard that I demand of myself.

Do I think this is healthy?  Not really.  I know that I'm my own worst critic.  We all are guilty of this, if we're honest.  I hope that the people who follow my blog look forward to reading what I write, and that they expect a certain level of quality from me.  Then I also have the self-deprecating thought that people might not even give a second thought to what I write here.  Sometimes we just get kicked into this odd spiral of thought and there's endless wrestling that occurs.  Ego is certainly in the mix.  Anyone who creates, whether it is with words, or music, or art, or any other medium should be able to admit that it matters to them that their work is well received.  I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

So, tonight I'm wrestling with that spiral of thought and struggling to produce a blog post that I deem worthy of being published.  I am not so bold as to equate myself to best selling authors or music artists, that I'm chasing some mythical chimera of excellence everytime I write here on my blog.  What I'm saying is that I do chase a certain inner feeling of balance with what I write. It bothers me immensely to post a blog that is mediocre in my own eyes.  Apparently I am more ruthless and demanding of myself than I had been aware of.  And to be honest, if a dear friend were wrestling with this same issue, I would be all over them, admonishing them to lighten up, cut themselves some slack and to celebrate their creative gifts without so much stress being self-inflicted.

Is this post worthy, in my own eyes of being published?  I think so.  If nothing else, perhaps I'm admitting some frailties and relaxing a bit.  Perhaps I've recognized that I sometimes stray from the original goal, which has always been to write for the pure enjoyment of it all.  I admit that I prefer feeling that high level of satisfaction with each blog post that I write - the ones that, when I click to post, I know without a doubt are going to really resonate with others.  I daresay that all writers have that goal in the forefront of their mind.  I also remind myself that I don't find it necessary to write in a loud, shocking, attention-seeking manner.  Why, then, would I find it necessary for every post I publish to have a dramatic impact?  Why have I overlooked that the softer, more gentle messages I communicate have their own impact?  Good questions, both.

Life is short and our....my energies...are much better put towards enjoying life.  I do admit to having a talent for getting in my own way.  Tonight, I'm writing a new page into my personal book of lessons, and that is to occasionally step aside.  Allow myself to be more human.  This blog post isn't perfect, it might not be sparkling and vibrating at that highest level of excellence that I normally prefer and demand of myself, but it is addressing an important issue.  My whole life, writing has been one of my biggest joys.  Ultimately, my focus should be there....on the simple act of writing itself. 

Excellence should be something to celebrate, but not to the exclusion of all else.  Two years ago, I was only vaguely aware of the blogging world, and today I have been actively blogging and building a worldwide readership.  That accomplishment alone is plenty to celebrate.  That, and recognizing that the better part of valor is to allow for beauty in the mundane as well as the brightly sparkling moments.  I think of the difference in a color photograph juxtaposed next to the same image in black and white.  Both are breathtaking and riveting in their own unique fashion.  Quiet beauty shines and glows just as strongly, after all....and can exist with equal impact in words.

29 comments:

  1. Dawn personally excellence like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all have a platform that differs from others. That sparkle is in everything we do be it an experience that brightens or not.
    I have found that being simple and to the point for others to understand the journey is all that is needed.
    Your post definitely has some great food for thought.

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  2. Thanks Savira! This was one of those stream of consciousness types of posts that didn't really have a right or wrong conclusion to it. I know that people will read my work and draw their own thoughts, have their own reactions to it. I was kind of doing that "just write your way out of the slump" exercise, and it at least helped me get it out of my system! That's what I always tell my students, so it was time for me to practice what I preach. ;-) By the time I was finished, I had achieved that beautiful state of peace that writing always gives me, so the goal was met. Thank you, as always, for your lovely words. <3

    ~ Dawn

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  3. Dawn, Quiet Beauty is an extraordinary post, eloquently written and delightfully authentic. You can’t even imagine how meaningful your words are to me. To know that I’m not alone in my dread of producing just another mundane post in the “so what” category truly comforts my soul.
    The Christmas gift analogy is perfect, showing how writers feel about presenting material with meaning, how they hope to bless and not disappoint.
    So how often should we post? My personal feeling is that we should follow the lead of our gut rather than the beaten path of the herd. Which means that if we only post once a week or bi-monthly, fine.
    Much better to make your readers eyes light up and paint clear word pictures and leave a permanent impression than to post for the sake of getting something, any old thing, out there. In other words, it’s better to “have something to say” than to “have to say something.”

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  4. Debra, what a wonderful response! That "how often should we post?" question is the eternal debate, yes? I've actually blogged about that topic at Authentic Blogger's sister blog in the past. Many people are great proponents of daily blogging, but I am just not one of them.

    It is refreshing to hear that I'm not the only writer/blogger out there who dreads the "so what" post! I've said this before in my blogging archives; the posts that I tend to wrestle over the most, the ones I almost always think are not my best work...they turn out to often be the ones that resonate the most strongly. You'd think I'd be comfortable with that lesson by now, but I still struggle with it. It does matter to me that I produce something that pleases me and pleases others. I appreciate you taking time to write such a thoughtful comment.

    Namaste',
    Dawn

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  5. As to what posts should be .....I guess that's different for each individual..everyone has a story to tell...whether in humor, pictures, pain...The ones that touch someone else and are remembered are the ones that are genuine... I hate great words with a fake person behind it...As always :0

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  6. Bongo, I coudln't agree w/ you more. I don't like grand standing in any form, which is another reason I don't like to write just for the sake of getting a post out there. Sometimes my blogging is a form of therapy, to get me past that stutter in my stride. I figure there are plenty of other bloggers out there who have had similar moments, and if this can strike a chord with others, then I'll feel the self-tussle was worth it! Thank you for taking time to visit, read and comment. :)

    ~ Dawn

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  7. In one hand you are really putting down millions of bloggers who aren't here to 'enlighten' or 'feel the love of fellow bloggers.'As these words reveal,"I've read many of those and often wonder if the authors of those blogs mean to project a tired, done to death premise, or not."

    Then you contradict yourself with this,"Quiet beauty shines and glows just as strongly, after all....and can exist with equal impact in words."

    If you are battling within yourself and asking for more praise, fine. Yet in no way should you or anyone put others down in the attempt. If you don't like the "So what" blogs so be it but you really didn't have to mention it. As I'm sure you are aware many of those "mundane, everyday', bloggers visit here.

    Cheers.

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  8. Alex, thanks for taking time to write out your thoughts. Attacks aren't necessary, however. I am not asking for praise, nor was I attempting to put any specific person or blog down. If that were the case, I would've taken a very low road and pointed fingers. If you read what I was saying, you would've seen that this was more of an internal battle where I am critical of my own work, and where I'm seeking balance with that. I don't claim to be perfect. I make an effort to be honest, however. You can read your own motives into something and turn it ugly if you choose. That was not the intent behind my words, however. Ugly behavior and energy serves no positive purpose.

    You're more than welcome to your own opinions, of course, and you're welcome to voice them. If you found something so egregious here that you felt the need to lash out, that's a shame. It is just as easy to click your mouse and leave this page, as it is to write distasteful comments that serve little purpose other than self-aggrandizement. I wish you well with your own blog.

    Namaste',
    Dawn

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  9. Dawnie,

    Thank you for giving us this highly personal look into the journey of your art, for that is what I see you try to give us with each post...words of art, that reflect much of you. It doesn't surprise me if people don't understand that, it takes some reflection that isn't comfortable sometimes. You've given me pause to consider my own process and blogging path...we all struggle for excellence, I think, but when does that struggle cross the personal line and actually take away from the meaning and passion behind it. It is SUCH a personal thing isn't it, the only one who can know is we who offer the words to the world. Thank you, Bless you, and may you always dance on this line with grace and beauty, being true always to yourself!

    *hugs and aliens*

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  10. My Lise, you humble me with your words. Sometimes we're really blessed to have those special people in our immediate circle who get us completely, without qualifying or explaining being necessary. Writing this post really did have me pondering and lightening up on myself a bit. I don't know how long that will last, but for the moment, I achieved fresh prespective. I know that every writer does struggle for excellence, and that journey is individual to each one of us. I've left my "blahs" behind for the nonce, I'm happy to say!

    "May you always dance on this line with grace and beauty..." My goodness, those are some lyrical words there, my darling one! I shall dance, indeed, as long as you're there on the same line with me. :)

    *Hugs and Aliens in return!!!*

    Much love,
    Dawnie

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  11. Wonderful post Dawn, I'd imagine it was difficult to put this across wihtout feeling self conscious. I would imagine that everyone asks themselves at some point "Is this good enough." and some days you may ask more than others. One interesting thing about blogs is there are so many varieties and reasons for doing them, but more than any other medium they represent the person writing. Your readers do have expectations when they come to your blog and you always fulfill them, because the main expaectation is that these are "your" words and thoughts. Hope you're feeling better, but let me share a quote from a dear friend of mine, "lighten up, cut yourself some slack Celebrate your creative gifts without so much stress being self-inflicted."

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  12. It's very difficult to write a post and admit within it that you feel it may not be quite up to standard or that it might be deemed by others as 'so what' but it really doesn't matter what others think it's yours.

    You put your heart and soul into verbalising your thoughts and you share them, that is brave and by doing so, you open up the opportunities for discussion, you give food for thought and you also inspire. It can't be a bad post to do those things now can it oxox

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  13. Brent, would you be surprised to hear that your comment made me literally burst out laughing? Yeppers, it did...that final quote being plopped in front of my nose was what did it! I have been spanked, just a wee bit, I do believe, but in the nicest, euphemistic way possible. Writing ourselves out of a blah moment is tricky, but the very cool part is that we learn from the experience. The even better part is that when we look up from our keyboard and blink owlishly around us, we see our cheering section waving and smiling. That's sheer warmth and delightfulness right there. Thank you, my friend. I enjoy your work equally, you know. And I treasure you specifically. <3

    SJ, you make me smile, sweetheart! I daresay everyone of us can relate to the blahs of writing; those pesky blocks that decide to visit and make themselves comfortable. I'm not sure if it's bravery or sheer stubborn refusal to give up that keeps all of us perservering through those blocks, but I'm glad we all do. It means we have this incredibly diverse, supportive community and family of sorts to connect with, learn with, share and grow with. Thanks for taking time to visit and grow along with me!

    Namaste' & love to you both. <3

    Dawn

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  14. Dawn, A true artist does not paint just to empty a tube, no, paint is expensive and a great tool in the artist hands. So too is writing, your words, which convey so much are tools not to be wasted. Rather they are to be used to paint what those great Smokey mountains inspire you to write. I enjoy your Blog immensely and would hate to see it take on the rushed atmosphere that some are driven to do. I like it, nice and peaceful very conducive to where I want to be in my thoughts. Keep up the good work you are doing and have fun. Create a wonderful world we can all share on your Blog, I will be back!

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  15. Ed, you gave me a lot to smile about, and a lot to ponder. I liked the artist/paint analogy! How true that thought is. I know we all have a specific writing style, or fingerprint of sorts. I guess mine is slower and more deliberate. It pleases me to no end that when you visit here, you find something that communicates my goal...peacefulness and healing thoughts. Thank you for your kind words, my friend. I will remember what you've said here for a long, long time to come. :)

    ~ Dawn

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  16. As usual my friend a wonderful thought provoking post that’s brought about many thoughts and opinions. This is a good thing! Many of us may know that putting our words out there is a risky business? For me that risk was the main reason I turned out to be a late starter. Then a crisis exploded within my life, it brought about clarity, helping me realise just how silly it was not do something I knew I’d really love. Initially I was nervous, and quite fearful that others would laugh or even point a finger and ask who the hell I thought I was, or maybe demand why I was doing what I was doing because I was awful, not talented.

    Over the last twelve months, the one thing I’ve learned is this... I follow many blogs and the reason I do, is because in their own unique, special way they interest me. Another important thing is that, not only am I interested in them as writers but, I like to sense their personalities.

    I truly feel honoured to have connected with so many lovely individuals and I suppose it’s equally important to remember not everyone is looking for excellence, to be honest I’m just happy if what I write makes sense... :-)

    I know you said you weren’t looking for compliments... but, I’m AngelJane, it’s my job to say it as it is... I know what a special person you are Dawn, I realise you demand a lot from yourself... Your totally professional which for me has been amazingly beneficial because if you remember I once told you I'd learned so much from you and your work. My lovely friend that lesson continues today...

    Big Angel Hug

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  17. Janey, you honor me, sweetheart. Blogging is such an incredibly personal journey for each of us, don't you think? I have learned so much about myself, about the blogging world, about promoting and growing my readership. I've sharpened, and will continue to hone my writing abilities. I've met some of the most wonderful people around the world, and have been blessed and fortunate enough to establish friendships with many of them.

    A special few get very close to my heart and you're in that category. I know how you feel with being brave enough to put your words out there on your blog; it makes us all very transparent and open to both accolades and criticisms. As long as the criticisms are given with positive intent, I'm fine with them. As for accolades, the ones that mean the most to me are ones such as your comment here. People who know me, know my personality and my true intent - those are the comments and truth that I value the most.

    What you write makes beautiful sense, dear one, simply because you tap into your heart energy andshare it with us. We all grow as a result. I love you dearly and look forward to a lifetime and beyond of continuing friendship.

    Namaste' & Big Lovies!

    ~ Dawn

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  18. Dawn, there will always be someone who isn't satisfied with something that someone has done. If you have given your all and you are satisfied with your work, then that is all that matters.

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  19. Dawn,I hope I'll always do you the honour of remembering this beautiful heartfelt reply... Phew, totally knocked out as I know you mean every single word. Its touched my own heart deep to it's core.

    From the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you for being my friend and thank you for being you...

    Namaste my sister

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  20. Miss Mary, what an impactful, true statement you've made! You're right, and I remind myself of that often. People will find fault if they have enough determination and desire. Same goes for seeing something positive - if the desire is there, it will be seen instantly. So, yes, your comment is a good reminder and lesson to remember. Pleasing self first and finding satisfaction on a personal level should be the first and primary yardstick. Thank you for a great comment! :)


    Janey-love, I'm happy to knock you out with warm thoughts and emotions! With little cartoon balloons full of Batman-like sound effects like "Pow!" and "Zap!" and "Ka-Blam!". Those are the sounds friendship makes sometimes, you know.

    Lovies squared! <3

    Namaste',

    Dawn

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  21. Hi Dawnie,
    Blogging is a personal journey for all of us and in one form or another we all want to be heard and loved just as we are.

    Imperfect, flawed humans sharing different experiences while moving towards the same place of love and light.

    How we interpret, perceive, and share who we are takes on many different faces and forms of expressions that should be respected as an extension of God wanting to *BE* through each individual and experience life through each one of us in our own unique way.

    Everything is a matter of interpretation.
    As the old saying goes "One mans trash is another mans treasure' Thank God for diversity!

    Love and light
    Deanne

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  22. Deanne, I love your thoughts here. In particular, that second to last paragrpah is stunning in its simplicity. I agree w/ you that that which we label Divine is being expressed through each of us in different ways. Therefore, each form of expression has a facet of beauty. Some might see through a clouded lense at times, but the beauty still exists.

    I know you're on the verge of your next physical journey and I look forward to hearing of your experiences when you return. I value your Light and your heart, dear one, as you're well aware.

    Much love to you! <3

    Dawnie

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  23. Thanks for the kind words and valuing my humble thoughts...Looking forward to my trip!
    I will definitely be sharing when I return!

    Much love to you also!
    Deanne

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  24. I just noticed that horrible typo up there. I created a new word...paragrpah! LOL...I'm not sure how that should be pronounced, but it made me laugh. Safe travels, Deanne. <3 We'll chat when you return.

    ~ Dawnie

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  25. Well there you go...you made your point that you are not perfect and make errors too...LOL

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  26. Another excellent post, Dawn! You and I have discussed blog frequency before, and I admit I've mellowed on it a bit. For those who aren't familiar with my views, I often find the exercise of writing every day keeps me on my toes and actually keeps me more devoted to it. The more time I'm away from it, sometimes the harder it is to get back to it. I get lazy. Regular blogging keeps me from doing that.

    On the other hand, I'm sure you've noticed I've changed up a bit on that. I don't worry about it as much. Maybe I'm more comfortable with my blogging that I don't worry about it as much.

    But now that I don't worry about it as much, I find myself in the same spiral you're talking about. The less I blog, the more I feel each post should "mean" something more. This is more of a problem for me on my Game Informer blog than it is my regular one, but it's still an issue.

    And I think, as you said, it's something we all struggle with.

    Wow, what a ramble. To quote one of my favourite movie characters, Inigo Montoya:

    "Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

    And that "sum up" is...great post!

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  27. Dave, great thoughts! I guess we all go through those cycles and moments when writing is more challenging than others. I don't get writer's blog that often, and I don't know that this post was a true block moment. I just know I was feeling serious lack of enthusiasm and satisfaction with what I was producing and that was truly frustrating. What works for me is writing through that kind of sludgy period and just accepting it as a good effort. Once I get past that, the pressure is off and I regain my regular enthusiasm for writing.

    I like the Montoya quote! To sum up on my part, thanks for a great comment, as always. :)

    ~ Dawn

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  28. Dawn,
    Your writing is beautiful. We are all our toughest critics but I agree we should only post when we feel a pride in our work.

    When I was beginning out blogging I was so focused on getting posts out that often they weren't on things I was as passionate about and writing became work instead of enjoyable. It was so bad I took a couple months off and my blog almost died.

    I ended up reflecting on my blog and realizing that I was writing about the wrong topics. I needed to be inspired by what I was writing and enjoy it. I did learn though when writing is a chore I like you don't write. Thankfully I usually try to keep a little buffer of posts to keep up with my posting.

    I have added your RSS to my homepage and can't wait for your new posts.
    Aaron

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  29. Aaron,

    Thank you for your wonderful thoughts you shared here. Blogging, writing and creating are definitely that continual process of self-discovery for all of us. I'm glad that you've taken time to identify the best approach for yourself with your writing, because you're making such a strong difference in the world with your blog. It's refreshing to find those bright voices out there in the blogging world & I look forward to getting to know you better via both our blogs. :)

    Namaste',

    Dawn

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