Morning Meditation - Learn To Adapt

 Morning Meditation. Learning the skill of being adaptable opens the world up to you in a whole new way. ✨

#HealingMorning #MorningMeditation #Change #Unknown #Adapt #Growth #TakeThatFirstStep

Morning Meditation - Blessings In Disguise

 Morning Meditation. Blessings in disguise. Change comes in the unusual. ✨

#HealingMorning #MorningMeditation #BlessingsInDisguise #Change

Healing Morning Extra - Enjoy Every Second

 Be open to changing, to adapting, to compromising. All of these conscious choices refine us more than we realize, and the end result is remarkably beautiful! ✨

Morning Meditation - Be Made New

 Morning Meditation™️. Change often comes in unexpected, unorthodox wrappings. Pay attention to the unusual! ✨

#HealingMorning  #MorningMeditation  #Change #UnorthodoxWrappings #NoteTheUnusual #BeMadeNew

Morning Meditation - How Will You Respond?

 Morning meditation™️. How will you respond? I choose adventure! ✨

#HealingMorning™️  #MorningMeditationArchives™️  #Change  #Growth  #ChooseAdventure

Morning Meditation - Speed Isn’t The Goal

 Morning Meditation™️. Change is challenging. Finding peace & clarity amidst the process helps ease the growing pains.✨

#MorningMeditation™️  #HealingMorning™️  #Change  #Adapt  #Growth  #Clarity  #GrowingPains

Morning Meditation - Growth Demands Dramatic Change

 Morning meditation™️. You may feel scared, you may think it is impossible, but you are meant to grow in dramatic ways. You CAN do it. ✨

#HealingMorning™️  #MorningMeditation™️  #YouCanDoIt  #GrowthAndExpansion

Morning Meditation - Note the Beautiful Moments

 Morning meditation™️. I wrote these words nine years ago, and I can still recall the experience that inspired the words. ✨

#HealingMorning™️  #MorningMeditation™️  #DifferentAndBrightNewWorld

What do you do when....

Photo:  http://www.siaphoto.com/

What do you do when you can't breathe?  When something occurs that literally strips the breath from your body and you're suspended in that polarizing moment, gasping.  This can take many forms.  Some beautiful, some incredibly raw and angry, some reaching a level of sublime happiness, and others so steeped in sadness that  it is beyond words to express.

That moment, when the air is taken from us seems to last an endless forever.  Our minds and emotions seize up in a sort of shock as we grapple to understand the enormity of the moment.  A whole slew of physiological effects set in...pupils dilating, heart rate increasing, fingertips and lips going slightly numb, slightly tingling, goosebumps hitting at times, sweating occurring at others, stomach twisting and pitching, laughter bursting from us in a glorious ripple of smiling notes, or gut wrenching sobs the next sound we're capable of making. 

Most of the time when this happens, we are forever changed.  Uplifted at times, devastated at others.  It's one of those very pure moments when everything narrows down to a literal pinpoint of focus.  From that one breath suspended, to that next moment when we finally inhale again, the world changes.  We change.  A remarkable shift occurs.

It's a curious thing, how all that we are, who we are, can change in such a blinding, rapid manner.  It can happen in a fleeting rush, barreling upon us in a wild, dramatic swirl.  Or it can slip through and brush softly as a whisper.  Regardless of the delivery, it is profound and dramatic.

We experience it from the hands of another....from the words of another.  Or from our own initiative.  Sometimes it is a moment in Nature.  Or a song lyric.  A fragrance that teases the heart and the memory.  A touch so sincere that we cannot resist it.  And we are undone.  Unraveled, or conversely, wound so tightly, so quickly, that we must shatter into a million pieces of delight or maddened grief.

Peace walks these same halls.  As does love.  They both grab the breath from us, lifting up and embracing us in an inestimable manner. 

What do you do when you can't breathe?  You endure it.  Or you celebrate it.  You continue to live, accepting that infinitesimal moment that has shifted everything that you are into a new person.  And you are born anew, taking fumbling steps, uncertain on wobbly knees and feet.  Pared down to your elemental self, vulnerable, naked and alone, and seeing the world through brand new eyes.

What do you do when you can't breathe and the cold vapor of that crashing experience stuns you?  You momentarily become a creature of ice, shards of silvered frost entwining throughout your very cells, turning you crystalline.  Waiting for a touch to warm and melt you back to humanity.

Waiting for a touch to enfold.  To stutter-start your breath again.

There in an indefinable space that simultaneously lasts both a nanosecond and a limitless, echoing eternity...what do you do?  You feel.  Simply that. 

You feel.

Look me in the eyes

Photo courtesy of Aglet Photography

Eye contact.  I wrote a short blurb about this in a recent blog post.  I did that because I had had the subject on my mind for several days.  It had me pondering and as I said to another friend, when I start thinking, the inevitable outcome is that I start writing.

We all know the old saying that the eyes are the window to the Soul.  I agree with this 100%.  Each of us is different in the manner that we connect with others.  For some of us, making and maintaining eye contact is simple.  Just something that you do.  For others, it is a challenge, and something to be avoided at all costs.  This is a protective mechanism, and usually happens for good reason.  If you delve deeply enough with those who are careful with making eye contact, you will find a lot of trust issues beneath the surface, married to a lot of painful experiences.

I think everyone has heard the old axiom that "the eyes are the window to the soul".  Most of us will agree that people who don't make significant eye contact impart a less than trustworthy vibe.  This is a snap judgment, of course, and may be an unfair one, depending upon the situation and the individual.

For me, eye contact is important.  In every relationship that I have, I want that strong connection to be there.  Friendship, family, business connections, as well as more intimate relationships - all need to have that level of connection, trust and the sense that you are being seen, being heard, and being embraced.

Gazing wordlessly into one another's eyes.  That is profound.  The wordless part is usually what causes people to become skittish and glance away.  When you meet a person who doesn't do this, who engages in that gaze without flinching, this is an incredible moment.  Thoughts wash through the mind, emotions are triggered, and a sense of being the very center of that person's immediate world exists.  Pretty powerful stuff!  This creates a level of willing, intentional vulnerability, meaning that you allow yourself to become vulnerable in that moment and with that other person. It also creates a bond, that wordless moment, that is indefinable.  And really, definitions aren't always necessary.

That experience, that wordless gaze, is a microcosmic moment that doesn't require anything else.  Fleeting, yes.  But with lasting impact.  Moments such as these can be a catalyst.  From one moment to the next, the world changes. Perhaps not in an earth shaking, cataclysmic manner, but change does occur.  And thinking follows.  Pondering, absorbing, reflecting.  All from one long, quiet shared look between two sets of eyes.

We each have those experiences that we remember as being a turning point.  Something occurred to stop time, briefly, with enough dramatic force that you felt the shift as a tangible instant.  Your own personal earthquake, where those emotional tectonic plates were rearranged, permanently.  From a glance, you ask?  Yes, for me, from a glance.  Well, a look is more to the point, as a glance is of short duration.  Maybe a new word needs to be created for that long, steady, quiet, powerful exchange.  "Staring" doesn't fit, as it robs the experience of depth and warmth.

Whatever label you choose to apply, there is great value in giving yourself to such a moment.  Looking into another person's eyes for long, long moments with no words, no nerves, no agenda, and no reserve is profound.

This was the thought in my last Grasshopper Thoughts post (Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. V, August 2011) that prompted this blog article:

Look me in the eyes when we're together.  During conversation, during quiet moments, just a glance is sometimes enough; other times, a long and meaningful moment is profound....show me who you are in this way, and I will do the same. - SDS, August 2011

No Place Like Home

Image courtesy of
Authentic Blogger

Did you know that moving ranks in the Top 3 most stressful events that can hit an individual's life?  The other two are death and marriage.  I, for one, am not a fan of moving.  I know many people enjoy it, see it as an adventure and embrace all the nuances of change that come along with the experience.  I accept that type of change grudgingly, although with age and time, I have found a way to cope better than I used to. 

So, with that being said, imagine a dramatic drumroll as I announce with a flourish (because there simply must be a flourish) that Authentic Blogger has moved its presence on Facebook from the original group format to a new Page format. 

Celebrate failure

While I am completely familiar with the concept that sometimes not getting what you want is a blessing in disguise, I have to admit that some disappointments sting more than others. I recently was involved in an interview process for a job that I wanted badly. It meant a move to Chicago from East Tennessee and changing my whole life, leaving behind immediate family, friends and an area that I deeply love. The flip side of that coin was a job opportunity that, I felt, was written with me, my heart, my skills, my everything, in mind. I made the cut from 120+ candidates down to the top 3 and in the end, the company chose a different person to fill the position.

I won't lie - part of me was relieved. I've done those big, involved moves before, going to larger cities and the whole process is exhausting. At the same time, it is fun and exhilarating to make that extreme change, learn a new area, meet new people and build a whole new life for yourself. Having done it several times before, I knew I could do it again and be quite happy. I felt that being a bit conflicted inside was just a natural reaction to the possibility of that large and dramatic a change being on the horizon once again.

Well, the news that I wasn't the candidate chosen, while in some ways a relief, was also incredibly frustrating. I was disappointed, then I was downright pissed for at least a day. I wrote to a few close friends, with most of them not bothering to even respond to the emails (big lesson learned there, but a topic for a different blog), and one friend in particular making a comment that literally jarred me. In a good way. His response to my news of not getting the job was, "What great news!" I think I sat there and goggled in surprise at that statement for a few minutes, because it wasn't anywhere near the response I was expecting. I went on to read the rest of his response and am printing it word for word here, because this friend has some wonderful wisdom to impart.

"What great news! Why? Well, because something out there has your name on it and it is not the Chicago company. It is something well beyond your ability to even ask or think... so think big and expect it. It will come when you are ready for it and it will perfect your talent, you'll write about it and it will sell you to your awaiting contracts."

By "contracts" my friend Jeff meant the fact that I'm a freelance technical writer, and as such, am always in hot pursuit of that next contract. That aside, his words made me pause and change my whole perspective on the topic of not getting what we want. I really do know that that's not always the worst thing that can happen - and that, as I said above, it can be a blessing in disguise. This particular friend has this wonderful ability to inject so much positive energy, enthusiasm and sincere appreciation into his words that I wanted to share his wisdom with anyone who reads this blog.

The lesson here is to celebrate failure, as it clearly brings you that one more step closer to your heart's desire. If, however, you choose to get mired down in bitterness, disappointment and moping, you're going to block all that wonderful positive energy from manifesting in your life as efficiently as it is meant to. I don't think that honest disappointment is a bad thing, as long as we don't wallow in that emotional state indefinitely. I was fortunate enough that the one friend who did respond to my news about not landing that job had the perfect words to basically kick my butt in the kindest, most loving way possible, and lift me up in the process. The lifting up part was figuratively a boot up the backside to knock some good old mountain wisdom into my head, and the extra benefit was that I lost the grumpy, gloomy outlook and was immediately full of smiles and positive energy. That is a rare gift to be able to impart and I value this person's ability to be that loving.

Yes, I would have loved to have landed that job in Chicago. It sounded fun, interesting, challenging....everything that I look for in a work environment. But, what a wonderful concept to embrace that as wonderful as that job description was, there is something so much MORE wonderful...richer, rewarding, lucrative, enjoyable and abundant heading my way. This is the unexpectedly sweet lesson to be learned from failure, and an imminently logical reason to celebrate that moment of failure for the very clear road sign that it is....that failure isn't a negative.

One of my favorite scientists to quote is Thomas Alva Edison. Here is a quote he made about failure that I find to be very apropo to this blog:

"I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that did not work."

I like Edison's, and Jeff Nix's approach....celebrate failure, my friends. It means you're moving forward in life!

Fall cleaning and pruning

The autumn months always seem to be a stronger time of change for me. I'm sure that varies per individual, but for me, fall seems to usher in changes on many levels. Currently, I am in a deeply contemplative space and have been paying close attention to my own thoughts, actions and how they are sending messages to the world and people around me. The realization that follows is that it is time to do some fall cleaning and pruning off of deadwood in my personal sphere. This is never an easy undertaking, as it means putting an end to relationships that are not productive. Emotions rise to the surface on a personal level, as well as the recognition that the deadwood you intend to prune away, i.e, people, perhaps work, old habits will cause ripples of reaction.

We've all reached this point, countless times, regarding old friendships that seem to make us tired rather than inspire and lift us up. Generally, the automatic thought process is to give it a little more time, a little more energy and wait to see if things turn around. This is a valid approach, as all relationships experience ebb and flow, waxing and waning moments. We all have busy lives, families and priorities that eat up our time. It is understandable that there are moments when friendships do get put on the back burner. What I am speaking of, however, is that point that you reach when it is plain that said relationship is no longer positively serving either party involved. This can mean marriage, it can mean work relationships, it can mean the job you're currently working, it can mean girlfriends, guy friends, church friends....you name it, and the relationship can reach a zenith.

I believe that we come into one another's lives to teach, to learn and to grow as a result of that interaction. It has been a bit of a struggle for me over the years, learning to let go when I could feel the beginning of the end of a given relationship. Everything inside me would clutch up in a mindless panic, that, oh no....I'm losing that person that I love! I have no magic solutions for how to deal with the inevitably painful process, other than time, age and experience teaching that all things have a season. The more important topic at hand, I think, is to become aware of the patterns surrounding you, and learn to adapt. You have it within your power to create an ideal atmosphere for yourself, with the best situations, best people, best work, best everything surrounding you. In order to do that, you must first identify what it is that is working, and what it is that is not working in your life.

The most efficient way to judge any situation is if it feels good or bad. Your emotions are your most accurate divining rod for literally everything you experience. Is a relationship making you happy? Or is it dragging you down and leaving you feeling depressed when you spend time with a specific person? Do you feel as though you are the one constantly giving more than 50% of the energy into that relationship? I find that to be a good starting point when I make the decision to review my personal sphere of influence. If you are at that point where you do, indeed, feel a decided lack of balance and you also are aware that you have done everything possible to change that dynamic, perhaps it is time to do some fall cleaning of your own. While it may feel just the opposite, this is actually a very healthy thing to do for yourself.

Is there a perfect way to achieve this? No, as each situation is unique, they all require different approaches and methods. I am all for straight talk and being up front with people. In fact, one of my pet peeves is when people refuse to address what is right in front of their noses. For whatever reason, it has become acceptable to sweep important, valid emotions under the proverbial rug, ignore them until they grow into monstrous proportions and then just disappear from a relationship with no explanation. That, without fail, can create more questions, hurt feelings and wounds than having an honest conversation. Questions, hurt feelings and wounds can linger indefinitely, whereas an honest conversation, while potentially painful when the topic is ending a relationship, can be cathartic for all parties. This, I believe, can be a vital part of your individual mental health. Knowing where you stand with any given relationship, knowing that everything is out in the open, can be very empowering and freeing.

You will know best which method to use in your own life and your own situations. You'll also probably make some mistakes along the way, but you'll learn from those experiences. In the end, you will eventually find a process that fits your life and your personality, and will honor the relationships you are involved in. Holding on to connections that no longer serve a purpose can become toxic, can cause unpleasant limbo and can bleed over into other relationships. Many times in the past, I have done that needless holding on, to my own detriment. Through trial and error, and the simple process of growth, I have developed my own way of dealing with the not always enjoyable realization that it is time to do my own fall cleaning and pruning.

Does ending a relationship mean that it is ended permanently? Of course not. In fact, I have very recently reconnected with a girlfriend who was dear to my heart over 12 years ago. Casting my mind back to the time that the friendship began to dwindle, I can remember the timeframe that it began. I recognized inwardly that both of us were heading in different directions, with different dreams and I could actually feel the energy shifting between us. Was there an exact moment I can pinpoint that things ended? There was a timeframe, but not an actual moment that we sat down and discussed the situation. It was more of a gentle drifting apart until we completely lost track of one another.

Jump forward to present day, and the phenomenon of Facebook proved to be the catalyst for reconnecting to occur. We are different women now, 12 years later, but in so many ways, still the same people who clicked so well so many years ago. She is still dear to my heart, regardless of 12 years spent apart and becoming new versions of ourselves. So, the good news is, when the time is right and if you are meant to reconnect in the future, it will happen.

Love never dies, as it is an immutable energy. It can change, certainly, and most times, for the better. Be open to change, my friends; this is the strongest lesson any of us can learn. A scary lesson, to be sure, but one that can create unimaginable joy if we are brave enough to allow it and embrace it. I can say from personal experience with a whole slew of recent reconnections of old friendships, the joy is immense. It is a fascinating process to spend years apart from someone you loved, then come back together and discover all the snazzy nuances they have achieved in the interim.

Another happy instance is this: with endings, as we are all aware, come new beginnings. It may sound trite and overused as an analogy, but there is strong, sure truth in the statement that when one door closes, another one opens. This applies to all relationships - work, friends, family - when there is an ending, God, the Universe, simple serendipity, call it what you will, but a Higher Power will provide a new beginning. Nature abhors a vacuum, and thus, a newly vacant space is soon filled with new energy.

Your job, as a person who is working to honor your own existence, is to remain clear-headed and aware enough to recognize those new beginnings. Sometimes they slip in with the silence of morning, other times they come booming into your life with the energy of a Force Five hurricane. We can get caught up so easily in distractions that we often overlook the obvious, so pay attention! If you're thinking of fall cleaning and pruning, do it bravely and also be prepared for those new beginnings. Life is full of change, and every moment is a perfect one, if you choose to make it so.