Allow love

Does anyone reading this sometimes struggle with being open to being loved? Does that statement sound bizarre, or does it strike a common chord for you? I'm one of the ones that tends to get in my own way with that concept, sometimes rather spectacularly. I'm accustomed to being the one watching out for friends, being protective, nurturing, loving, supportive, etc. Yep, throw out the psycho-babble terms....co-dependent might be one that applies to that mindset. I won't argue the point. I think we all feel much safer and more in control when we're the ones doling out the care. Flip the tables on us and send someone our way to take care of us, nurture, protect, encourage, support and love and hmm....that feels a bit odd. Perhaps a bit unnerving.

I'm aware of my issues with control, have been for years. I work hard to keep it to a sane level and most days I feel I'm doing pretty well. Recently, I finally sat down and wrote out a list of things I'd like to invite into my life - that good old life mapping process, Law of Attraction at its most basic application. The very first thing I wrote was, "I want to meet new friends, or come back into contact with old friends, who are loving and caring towards friendships in the manner that I am." Basically, I was saying I want to be loved as deeply, openly and outwardly as I love the people in my life. Some might read that statement and think it sounds slightly egocentric, patting yourself on the back for your ability to love. I disagree - if there is one thing I can say about myself, without an egocentric mindset, it is that I know how to love and express it openly. It is one of the things I appreciate the most about myself, and in recognizing this fact, I felt, for the first time in a while, that I deserved just as much care and love as I freely give to others.

Well, let me just say that this small exercise is beginning to bloom extravagantly in my life. New and old friendships are sprouting up all around me. Interesting that I'm using gardening analogies here! I feel that I have always been blessed with people - family and friends - who genuinely love me. What I felt was missing was actually hearing that love expressed, or, in lieu of hearing the words spoken, seeing them written. I bow to the necessity of electronic communication to a certain extent.

Very early this morning, a dear friend sent me a song link on my Facebook page, expressing in music that he believes in me. It was so unexpected, kind and loving that I stared for long moments and thought, "Wow, that's exactly the type of thing that I would do for a friend. So, this is what it feels like to be on the receiving end!" Other friends are making phone calls out of the blue and making comments that heretofore would have been quite uncharacteristic for them. Still others are sending emails that say, with simple, heartfelt words, the things that I asked to hear when I wrote that list. All of this is not to say I feel disenfranchised, unloved or neglected - to the contrary. I am rich with blessings and love. I just needed to hear, see and feel that love become manifested in a different way.

Has it been easy for me to accept? You'd think the answer would be a resounding "Yes!" In fact, it has been a bit of a challenge to open up and allow this love into my heart. That may sound churlish, and that isn't the intent - I do accept the kindness and love and appreciate it all more than I can put into words. It is those quiet moments alone, when I sit and absorb it all that have me a bit off kilter, realizing that allowing love is occasionally a much bigger struggle than giving love. The beautiful part of this whole process is how magically simple it has been. It was completely unnecessary to trot out all my defense mechanisms, shore up my highest, titanium walls and deepen the moat surrounding my personal fortress. I just took a breath and allowed love in. It was and continues to be, wonderful!

The first step - identify what you want. The second step - ask for it. As most of us who study the Law of Attraction concepts, or the Bible or other holy texts know, those first two steps are the easier ones to accomplish. The third step - allow what you asked for to manifest. That one takes some work, I admit it! I've said it countless times, that being loved is such a simple thing, and this is an immutable truth. Recognizing it and being open to it is the challenge. It's like putting on a new pair of shoes - sometimes they feel a bit tight and odd to begin with, but if you're patient, those shoes begin to adapt to your shape and fit like the proverbial glove. The same concept applies to allowing love - it may feel a bit odd and uncomfortable at first. Give it some time, let the love meld with the shape of You. Once it feels like it fits, you're just getting started....the next step is to continue!