How do you love?

On the heels of my last post, "Allowing Love" I received some great comments and emails almost immediately that surprised and pleased me. When I sit down to write a blog, I never know if the content of that particular post will strike a sympathetic note with others or not. In fact, that's a lot of the fun of blogging, learning what others think after reading your stuff!

One friend mentioned that I had prompted him to do some thinking, which I loved. My intent with this blog is to do that very thing. So, the question that has been prompted for me now is this: How do you love?

I bet that made you pause for a few moments, hmm? Before you start to sweat and feel pressed to say the right thing, there really isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to answer that question. It's something that can't be easily answered or defined, as there are such complexities and layers to the emotion of, and the action of, love. We manifest it, feel it and show it differently with each person.

Do you love openly, with verve, splash and laughter? Or are you more quiet in the way you show love, with a thoughtful, more measured approach? Some show love by doing; fixing things for you that are broken, tidying your scattered chaos if you tend to produce clutter. Others are managing with their love, meaning they like to be very competent and efficient in their approach. Still others are true-blue, dyed in the wool romantics, breathing and showering the whole world with effusive, dramatic, evocative displays of their love.

There's passionate love. There's intellectual love. Silly, absurd love has its special place in the world, I honestly believe. Deep, beyond-words-love that pulls every bit of oxygen from the room as you gaze into one another's eyes is another example. We have parental love, sibling love; love for friends, for family members, love for animals, love for hobbies, the list is infinite.

Now, the next question is: How do you receive love?

This is an extension of the last blog that suggested opening up and allowing love to manifest. In order to allow love, you have to be able to receive love. Do you do that joyfully? Or do you do it guardedly? Are you pensive with how you receive love? Are you cold and reserved, or very warm, open and appreciative in your response? These may seem like very similar questions which have little merit, but I would ask you to ponder each question with conscious thought. Take a moment to be brutally honest with yourself as you respond. Now, give equally honest thought to how your responses to those questions makes you feel inside.

Are you happy with the quality of love in your life?

Or could you use a better, or different form of communicating this vital emotion? If you answered "yes" to that second question, perhaps it is time to give this whole concept deeper thought and come to an inner accord that change is necessary and a positive thing to embrace for yourself. It could be that after giving these questions due thought, you're perfectly good and happy with where you are. Again, there are no right or wrong answers here.

Are you happy with how you express and receive love?

This can, and probably does, change on a regular basis, as we are different versions of ourselves minute by minute, day by day. The world certainly keeps us on our toes with endless challenges. As I have mentioned before, the manner in which we respond to any given occurrence is what defines us. It isn't necessary that you express love, or receive love in a way that makes sense to anyone else but yourself and the people with whom you interact on that intimate level. I just thought it was an interesting topic to discuss.

Most days, I'm very happy with the quality of love in my life. Recently, I decided that I wanted to see a manifestation of the way I receive love, the way it is expressed back to me, to change. I put some conscious thought into that and did some admittedly challenging shifting of my own energy, emotions and reactions, and I have benefitted greatly as a result. Giving love, for me, is an easy, effortless, joyful action.

I hope that I inspire others by my example, but if not, that's okay. That's the beauty of life, after all....the infinite diversity, infinite choices, infinite stories and dramas we play out. It all comes back to love at the end of the day, in my opinion, so I felt like discussing that emotion. I hope that, as you finish reading this blog entry, you're smiling and enjoying the thoughts these words have prompted in your heart.

Allow love

Does anyone reading this sometimes struggle with being open to being loved? Does that statement sound bizarre, or does it strike a common chord for you? I'm one of the ones that tends to get in my own way with that concept, sometimes rather spectacularly. I'm accustomed to being the one watching out for friends, being protective, nurturing, loving, supportive, etc. Yep, throw out the psycho-babble terms....co-dependent might be one that applies to that mindset. I won't argue the point. I think we all feel much safer and more in control when we're the ones doling out the care. Flip the tables on us and send someone our way to take care of us, nurture, protect, encourage, support and love and hmm....that feels a bit odd. Perhaps a bit unnerving.

I'm aware of my issues with control, have been for years. I work hard to keep it to a sane level and most days I feel I'm doing pretty well. Recently, I finally sat down and wrote out a list of things I'd like to invite into my life - that good old life mapping process, Law of Attraction at its most basic application. The very first thing I wrote was, "I want to meet new friends, or come back into contact with old friends, who are loving and caring towards friendships in the manner that I am." Basically, I was saying I want to be loved as deeply, openly and outwardly as I love the people in my life. Some might read that statement and think it sounds slightly egocentric, patting yourself on the back for your ability to love. I disagree - if there is one thing I can say about myself, without an egocentric mindset, it is that I know how to love and express it openly. It is one of the things I appreciate the most about myself, and in recognizing this fact, I felt, for the first time in a while, that I deserved just as much care and love as I freely give to others.

Well, let me just say that this small exercise is beginning to bloom extravagantly in my life. New and old friendships are sprouting up all around me. Interesting that I'm using gardening analogies here! I feel that I have always been blessed with people - family and friends - who genuinely love me. What I felt was missing was actually hearing that love expressed, or, in lieu of hearing the words spoken, seeing them written. I bow to the necessity of electronic communication to a certain extent.

Very early this morning, a dear friend sent me a song link on my Facebook page, expressing in music that he believes in me. It was so unexpected, kind and loving that I stared for long moments and thought, "Wow, that's exactly the type of thing that I would do for a friend. So, this is what it feels like to be on the receiving end!" Other friends are making phone calls out of the blue and making comments that heretofore would have been quite uncharacteristic for them. Still others are sending emails that say, with simple, heartfelt words, the things that I asked to hear when I wrote that list. All of this is not to say I feel disenfranchised, unloved or neglected - to the contrary. I am rich with blessings and love. I just needed to hear, see and feel that love become manifested in a different way.

Has it been easy for me to accept? You'd think the answer would be a resounding "Yes!" In fact, it has been a bit of a challenge to open up and allow this love into my heart. That may sound churlish, and that isn't the intent - I do accept the kindness and love and appreciate it all more than I can put into words. It is those quiet moments alone, when I sit and absorb it all that have me a bit off kilter, realizing that allowing love is occasionally a much bigger struggle than giving love. The beautiful part of this whole process is how magically simple it has been. It was completely unnecessary to trot out all my defense mechanisms, shore up my highest, titanium walls and deepen the moat surrounding my personal fortress. I just took a breath and allowed love in. It was and continues to be, wonderful!

The first step - identify what you want. The second step - ask for it. As most of us who study the Law of Attraction concepts, or the Bible or other holy texts know, those first two steps are the easier ones to accomplish. The third step - allow what you asked for to manifest. That one takes some work, I admit it! I've said it countless times, that being loved is such a simple thing, and this is an immutable truth. Recognizing it and being open to it is the challenge. It's like putting on a new pair of shoes - sometimes they feel a bit tight and odd to begin with, but if you're patient, those shoes begin to adapt to your shape and fit like the proverbial glove. The same concept applies to allowing love - it may feel a bit odd and uncomfortable at first. Give it some time, let the love meld with the shape of You. Once it feels like it fits, you're just getting started....the next step is to continue!