In the Deep Blue

photo:  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Water_drop,_single.jpg

I have been discussing meditation a lot lately.  With close friends, some whom I had no idea were devoted to the practice, as well as with new acquaintances.  I am a starter and stopper.  A drift away from it for a while, then come back to meditation with renewed enthusiasm kind of person.  For anyone who has meditated for even a short while, you know that it requires discipline.  The whole process is about discipline.  Focusing the body, staying still for a prescribed stretch of time, tuning the world out, focusing the mind, focusing the breath, and focusing the will to do all of the aforementioned.

The nature of meditation is to sit in silence and focus the mind.  This is when we are inevitably hit with "mind chatter".  Allowing each thought a moment of clarity and recognition, we then gently quiet that thought and come back to silence.  Each thought, in turn, is given its moment in the spotlight before we come back to mindfulness.  It's one of the most challenging devotions that can be embraced, in my opinion.  It's much easier to let the squirrel energy of all that mind chatter grab our attention and lead us far and wide from the original goal.

I have several friends who do active meditation where they listen to guided meditation recordings whilst doing some other activity such as exercising, house cleaning, etc.  I've tried that and I can see the beauty of combining activity with meditation, but I much prefer the sitting in silence method.  Occasionally I will listen to a guided meditation series, and I enjoy those because they allow a different type of relaxation and renewal.

What I tend to be drawn to the most is my own mental imagery.  From my earliest years of meditation, I've continually returned to the mental image of a deep blue pool where the occasional drop of water splashes down, creating a singular sound (in my head, I hear it as music - a clear single bell tone) and those lovely rippling eddies across the surface of the water.  If you can imagine being in a cave with a deep blue pool of water, and the cave being illuminated, that is the mental image that crops up the most when I meditate. The photo I shared above is a fair approximation of what I see in my mind's eye.

The single focus being the pool of water means there are no other distractions and my consciousness is narrowed to each droplet of water as it descends and bounces into the deep blue pool.  In my imagination, this cave is comfortably cool, clean and safe, and each droplet of water, and corresponding bell tone and beautiful ripple drops my consciousness deeper into the meditative state.

As I write this, it has been one of my lengthier stretches of time away from practicing daily meditation, and I find myself ready to embrace it again.  To step back into that mental imagery and focus on, and in the deep blue, and to greet that sense of Inner Peace that comes from opening up my full Self to the voice of the Divine.  It is the wee hours of the morning at the moment, but tomorrow will see me grabbing floor space to sit in meditation again.

Do these thoughts have a point?  They're my ruminations on something that has been a guiding force for much of my adult life.  Perhaps some of you reading this are fellow meditation devotees.  Some, myself included, see meditation as a different form of prayer and connecting to the God-Force.  I know that when I devote daily time to the practice of meditation, my daily existence is enriched.

And the most delightful part of this post?  It came about from a conversation with one of my dearest friends, who knows me better than most, and what I called a "good, old fashioned front porch talking to" where she helped me find some balance.  I have been wrestling with writer's block to a degree I rarely experience and couldn't find a way out of it to save my life.  It felt like I was trapped in a huge room with wet draperies hanging down that would twine about me every direction I turned, until I became immobilized.  The conversation with my dear friend cut the wet draperies and allowed my hands and mind a breathing space.  Directly on the heels of that huge inhale of fresh air came immediate inspiration for this post, and the urge to step back into focusing on the deep blue, allowing the rest of me to expand in awareness.

Blank White wall

Photo courtesy of
http://www.flickr.com/

A blank white wall.  This was my very first experience with meditation at a very young age.  If you grew up in a Christian oriented household, then I think most people can relate to the excitement generated on Christmas Eve night.  In our family, we waited until Christmas Day to open gifts, which amped the excitement level up that much higher.  After everyone was in bed, anticipation of the following morning and opening gifts would take hold of my young mind, making it difficult to sleep.  Even at that age, I recognized that unless I managed to get some decent amount of sleep, I wouldn't be able to enjoy all the festivities of the following day.  No young child relishes the thought of having to take a nap on Christmas Day, after all!

So, I would lie in bed, tossing and turning and attempting to relax enough to sleep.  I have no idea where the concept occurred, but I suddenly realized that I had to corral my racing thoughts.  My way of doing this and blocking out all distracted mental images, expectations, hopes, etc., was to imagine myself standing in front of a blank white wall.  Standing very close to it so that my entire vision was taken up by the clean expanse of uninterrupted white.  I also imagined this white wall to emanate softly blowing cool air, because I've never been able to fall asleep in warm surroundings.  That first moment worked like a charm - I imagine that it only took me 10-15 minutes for this meditative process to calm me enough to fall asleep. 

From that point forward in my life, I employed this calming technique of standing in front of a blank white wall to clear my mind.  I still use this technique to this day when I am having a particularly extreme amount of mind chatter going on in my head.  Insomnia seems to be a common experience as we grow older, and sometimes this method will help to relax me enough to allow sleep to come.

Photo courtesy of
http://www.hubpages.com/

I also employ this method occasionally for meditation, simply to drop my breathing and heart rate into the proper level to access that deep state of calm and reflection.  It has become a Go To exercise when life seems to be throwing a huge amount of activity in my direction.  In order to meditate, we do have to find a way to control mind chatter.  I spoke of this very thing recently with an old friend who is getting back into meditation and yoga.  I believe it is very common for anyone new to meditating, or long absent from the practice, to experience the challenge of mind chatter.  Micro-moments where seemingly random thoughts pop up and refuse to fade away.  One leads to the next, to the next, until eventually you lose focus. Those thoughts come rushing in the moment we settle down to meditate....or to sleep....or to pray.  Who hasn't turned their bedside table out and started their nightly prayers with all sincerity, only to get distracted by some random thought?  It happens to all of us and is certainly something we should forgive ourselves for; it is simply a physiological response the brain goes through as our bodies are at rest.  A method of processing all the minutiae of the day.

I don't know that the blank white wall method will work for everyone to calm mind chatter and make meditation or sleep come more easily; I just know it has worked for me since childhood.  For a good twenty years, I never correlated that this practice had any connection to meditative mindset.  When it did connect in my mind, I found it slightly bemusing that a four year old child had managed to cobble this concept together and be successful with it.  Granted, it was born out of a child's excitement about opening gifts on Christmas Day, but as I grew older, it became a valuable tool in my own inner growth and spiritual studies.

Photo courtesy of
http://www.mindflowmeditation.com/

I am guilty of straying from the practice of daily meditation and my recent discussion with this old friend reminded me how much I have been neglecting this vital part of my life.  With daily meditation, I am centered and better able to roll with the inevitable punches that Life delivers.  I am better able to access my inner spirit and intuition, and I am better able to release those niggling, annoying moments that bombard us minute by minute.  One would think all of the above would keep me very strict and true to a daily meditation regimen, but it doesn't.  I get lazy, I get busy and I forget.  One day turns into two, turning into a week and multiplying.  You glance at the calendar and suddenly realize that many weeks have passed without true nurturing of your Inner Light. 

So, the blank white wall beckons me from childhood memories to return to this vital daily practice.  Meditation is an individual duty and joy, although I realize that not everyone will embrace the practice, or even care to learn about what it really involves and how it can really benefit each person.  This isn't a post to encourage readers to embrace meditation.  It is just my thoughts on the topic and the path that I set my very small feet upon at a very young age. 

Photo courtesy of
http://www.minimalwall.com/

I do embrace meditation, although as I admitted above, I fall out of daily practice on occasion.  Perhaps that conversation with my friend was all that was necessary to nudge me and get the mental gears turning.  Once that occurs, it is inevitable that a blog post will be born, and I am ultimately a better person for it.  Writing, you see, for some of us, is its own form of meditation.  I reach a very profound Zen state when I write.  Time ceases to exist, hunger and sleep do not even impinge my consciousness.  Writing the thoughts out and weaving them into a cohesive and lyrically flowing fabric consumes me until that zenith of purity is reached.  Then I am washed in a level of satisfaction and bliss that is sublime. 

And all of these thoughts coalesce and return to that pivotal year in early childhood when I somehow devised a way to calm my thoughts.  I didn't know at the time that this was a form of meditation - I didn't even know what that word was at that young an age.  I simply knew that blank white wall method worked to help me sleep and I continued to employ it as I grew older.  For whatever reason, as a wee one, my brain was receptive and hardwired to esoteric concepts and by the time I was in second grade, I began to search for answers.  Today, the blank white wall still works for me when nothing else will; for sleep, to drop into a true meditative state after a hectic day, or simply to check in with myself and process through the myriad experiences of a given week. 

Photo courtesy of
http://www.wallpaperstock.net/

As I come to a close, I recognize that it is time to get back to daily meditation.  There are no accidents with conversation between friends; I have no doubt that this was God/Universe/Spirit gently nudging me, reminding me that this is an important energy in my life.  Time to come back to quiet, time to come back to calm, time to process and grow.  Time to visit that blank white wall and allow it to work its magic, settling chaotic, erratic thoughts into a smooth, even flow that gifts the Spirit with beauty and peace. 

The art and language of comfies

We all have those days.  You know the ones; usually a weekend day or a week night where you don't have any particular place to be and don't feel like being particularly productive.  Household chores and responsibilities outside the house can be blithely relegated to the back burner and you declare it a Comfie Day.  Comfie Days, obviously, require comfie attire.  That can span the gamut from disreputable jeans or cut-offs (if it's warm weather) and a t-shirt that has seen better days, to sweats that are loose and soft, to yoga attire that is more form fitting but equally soft and comfortable.  If you're a guy in a relationship, you may find your personal closet lightened by a few dress shirts or t-shirts that your significant other has claimed for her comfie days.

If I'm the one declaring a Comfie Day, then you can pretty much bet that there will be one of two things involved during winter months - fuzzy socks or critter slippers.  Summertime comfie attire is completely different, but as we're still winding down the cold weather months, I'm focusing on the warmer version of comfie attire.

I've frequently wondered, since they hit the retail market, who in the world invented fuzzy socks.  They're a marvelous product!  The concept of kicked back, comfortable lounge wear reached new heights of comfie-ness when these socks were born.  They take chenille, flannel, and other soft materials and relegate them to the annals of history for what used to be comfies.  Fuzzy socks, simply, rule the world for cold weather comfie status.  They are thick, soft, fuzzy (of course) and come in a wide range of zany colors and patterns.  Some even have those little rubberized skid-proof patterns fused to the bottom to prevent you from slipping on slick flooring surfaces.

Better yet, they are very affordable and can be found at most drug stores and larger chain retail stores.   For those of you old enough to remember Toe Socks from the late 1970's, yes, my friends, there are now Fuzzy Toe Socks.  That's one trend I doubt I'll embrace, as I remember how uncomfortable Toe Socks really are to wear, but I know that teen girls the world over are probably in raptures over Fuzzy Toe Socks!  There's a fuzzy sock mania going on these days, and I, for one, hope it never dies down!

Moving on to critter slippers - this is another pinnacle in comfie status.  I rarely mix fuzzy sockedness with critter slippers because I'm fairly warm natured and wearing both make my feet feel smothered.  I also never wear fuzzy socks with shoes because they're so thick and plush that my toes get squished inside my shoes.  One or the other is my choice, but I realize I may be unusual in that regard.  There may be many who wear fuzzy socks outside the house; I wear them in lieu of slippers. 

When I do choose slippers over fuzzy socks, my slippers are of the critter variety.  I have one pair of the half-slipper, backless kind that my Mom got me years ago and these have baby lambs on them.  Baby lambs complete with ridiculous, flirty eyes with long lashes and equally absurd long, floppy ears with pink satin inside, soft fleecy, lamb-ish fur outside.  When I walk, the lamb's ears flap and wag, adding all sorts of hilarity to my sashay. 

My ultimate comfie punctuation, of course, are my Snoopy ™ slippers.  If you know me at all, you know I am a Snoopy fan and have a genuine appreciation for the Peanuts™ brand of humor.  Again, a gift from my Mom, they are wonderful!  They are these big, poofy, marshmallowy kind of full slippers that keep my feet warm as well as appeal to my sense of comedy.  Snoopy just makes a fashion statement of the best comfie kind and I wear these slippers proudly.

Okay, yes, I admit that this is perhaps more of a girl thing, embracing comfie-ness with fuzzy socks and critter slippers.  Manly men have their version of laid back attire for a quiet day or evening at home, but rarely do they embrace fuzzy socks and critter slippers.  That's more the territory of women who are not afraid to embrace their inner child and delight in the pure silliness of being relaxed. 

The best part about fuzzy socks and critter slippers is that they "go" with any and everything (well, within the confines of home, of course)!  In fact, the more bizarre and absurd your fuzzy sock colors and designs, the better.  When I was in my mid-twenties, I worked in a restaurant that had a very rigid dress code for the front of the house staff.  Black slacks, white button down Oxford dress shirt, black tie and suspenders, black shoes for everyone, male and female alike.  The one way we could express ourselves was through our socks, and I amassed a huge collection of colors and designs.  Jump forward to present day and fuzzy socks are being created in equally unique designs and colors.  Obviously this appeals to my sense of humor and once again, I am expressing myself with the language of socks.  Critter slippers are just a happy adjunct of that theme.

Why choose something of this nature for a blog article?  Because I feel that mental and emotional health can be addressed and catered to with humor and a dash of irreverance at times.  Taking time for ourselves and just being relaxed and free in whatever expression that appeals to us is important in the grand scheme of things. 

Something that I have always found of interest is that men like women in comfie attire!  I've taken informal surveys over the years about this with close male friends, and also with men I've been in relationships with and surprisingly, the overall consensus is that laid back, no makeup, hair in a ponytail, wearing comfortable clothes and the odd splash of personality via socks or slippers look is when they all find us ladies to be at our most attractive.  That never ceases to amaze me.

Granted, men are always appreciative when we do the full, glamourous, girlie presentation, done up to the nines for a night out on the town.  But from the informal surveys I've taken, it is when we are relaxed and not trying to impress anyone that our true beauty shines most brightly.  This always makes me smile, because it is true for everyone, regardless of embracing any fuzzy sockedness or critter slipper humor.

The art of comfies will vary from person to person, from season to season, from age to age.  Not everyone will "get" your personal application of comfie-ness.  That isn't important; what matters is that your particular brand of comfie-ness gives you joy and allows you to completely relax, be yourself and find that inner glow of peace and contentment. 

Spring is approaching and my fuzzy socks and critter slippers will be relegated to the winter clothing storage section of my closet.  Comfie attire will shift to yoga style clothing and oversized shirts with cutoff shorts.  Bare feet with cute pedicures will rule the warmer months of the calendar.  Flip flops and pretty sandals will be the form of expression that is embraced.

The art of comfies are simply an extension of who we each are, deep down inside.  If you look closely at that comfy attire, it will tell a unique story and if you ask questions, will spark a fascinating conversation a good 90% of the time.  Moving days, rehabs of furniture or additions to a home will be told in the form of tears in fabric, paint stains or ragged hems.  Clothing that should be banished to the rag bin or garbage will be held onto for those warm memories and brought out on comfie days to give voice to that inner contentment we all have deep inside. 

As a story teller, I am always captured by other peoples' comfies, and I will always be the one asking questions about that intriguing dash of outlandish style you have chosen to wear when you are the most genuinely relaxed.  It gives me an open door to learn beautiful, profound things about who you are at your most authentic level.  Comfies will definitely be different from one person to the next, but what is true for all of us is that our comfies define us in a very elemental manner. 

Who says each day should be rigid and formulaic in clothing? Embrace your unique comfie-ness, I say!  It is a slightly different version of the old standard of "Let your light shine"!  So, shine on in comfie-ness, my friends, and give voice to your own laid back contentment. 

*Disclaimer:  Mention of Snoopy ™ and Peanuts™ brands in this article are not meant to indicate, imply or suggest monetary compensation of any form was received by the blog author.*