Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. IV, April 2011

Photo courtesy of
Bing images

A friend mentioned on her Facebook wall today that she had insulted her cell phone by dropping it in tanning oil. This drew me inevitably into a typical spiral of thought.  I had to ask the obvious question:  "More importantly, does the cell phone now have a lovely peachy warm glow?"  Because that's the whole point of tanning oil, yes?  I say "peachy warm glow" because that's about as close to tan as my skin gets.  I got slapped with all the Irish genes in the family, while my brother, sister and Mom got the Cherokee genes.  Unfair, I say.  They all have that lovely true red-olive undertone to their skin and they stay dark year round.  I have to work really hard to get anything resembling a tan, with the result being that I look like a peach with a smattering of freckles.  *sigh* 
And I blame all this angst on the warm weather that will demand short skirts, sandals and more exposed skin.  In order to not blind unsuspecting onlookers, I'll probably have to bite the bullet and go for a fake tanner of some kind.  At least then, freckles can be avoided across the nose.  It's a trifle lowering to look like I'm twelve years old all over again, so fake tanning is the best option.  If this friend hadn't gone and dumped her cell phone into the tanning oil, I could probably have avoided this approaching dilemma for another couple of weeks....

Who decided that Red Velvet Cake needed to be...well...RED??  And who thinks it really tastes good?  I guess a lot of people do, considering how popular it is.  To me, it tastes like a mouthful of sugary, bitter, red food coloring.  But then, so do Peeps.  Another friend (you know who you are...Marticus) literally lives for Peeps!  It is one of his Happy Places, when Peeps hit the shelves.  These days, they're pretty much a year round presence, in the guise of all manner of critters and creatures.  They still taste like sugary, bitter food coloring to me. 

Which brings me to birds.  The real, live, chirpy kind.  Specifically, wrens.  The ones that keep climbing inside the exhaust vents outside my kitchen wall, finding some bizarre hidden opening into the townhouse, and ending up in my upstairs master bathroom.  Twice, so far.  Dawnie to the rescue, again, twice.  My question is, wouldn't you think they'd get that the first experience wasn't all that fun, and that a second one makes zero sense?  I would think that, but I guess I don't think in a wren-birdy fashion, because they're building yet another nest in the danged vent.  Chicken wire over the vents (both of them) has been my request and strong suggestion to the maintenance crew of this complex, but hey, what do I know?  They, the maintenance people, keep ignoring me and just keep tearing out the nest.  Clearly, they're not familiar with how tenacious wrens are with nesting habits.  I predict more wren home infiltration in my near future. 

I am writing this Grasshopper post because it's late...2:00 am....and I'm hyped up from being overly tired, and this is a way to attempt to quiet my mind.  Yesterday the southeastern United States was hit by a series of terrible, destructive storms.  Death tolls were very high and damages were extreme.  Today...tonight...as I spin my litany of Grasshopper Thoughts, I reflect on how blessed I am that I can sit here and yammer on about the very minor challenge of wren home invasions.  I'm blessed that I know where my cell phone is, that I know where all my possessions are, for that matter....rather than being in the position of being homeless in the aftermath of a tornado.  Tomorrow, I will continue to focus concentrated thought, energy and Light towards those who have been so deeply affected by this bad weather event.  I will volunteer my time in the coming weeks and I will be appreciative of the fact that although last night was scary, I came through it intact, with a roof over my head and all my loved ones safe and unharmed.  That's a fitting end to a Grasshopper Jaunt, if ever there was one.