As the plane goes down

Photo:  traveldestinationinfo.com

When was the last time you felt short of breath?  After exercising?  After laughing with friends?  Rushing to a meeting?  Or perhaps because of being ill?

In August of 2010, I dealt with a protracted bout of pneumonia.  It lasted for well over a month, with the recovery process a long, grinding one.  I wrote a blog about this experience, called The Manifestation of Wellness (Healing Morning, 09/27/2010) in an effort to better understand what was happening with and to my body.  Most of us are aware that there is a strong mind-body connection that has impact on our health, although there are differing opinions on the veracity of this concept.  Depending on which side of the proverbial fence you stand, it makes sense or it's a bunch of nonsense.

Why am I bringing this up?  Because I am currently battling through another bout of pneumonia.  What surprised me was that in my mind, I had somehow convinced myself that that last bout of pneumonia had occurred more than two years ago.  Imagine my dismay when I searched for the blog article here on Healing Morning and found a clear pattern of approximately a year between recurrences.  Granted, last year's pneumonia was in August and this year, it has hit me in October, but they both occurred in fall months and they both progressed rapidly to full blown pneumonia.  Of course, many will say that this is simple logic - we're in the thick of flu season, with myriad viruses, bacteria and germs flying about in fall months.  I don't dispute that logic at all, and I agree that it is definitely a part of the cycle and pattern I've detected.

What I'm looking at is the mind-body aspect.  There are many esoteric tenets that have identified an emotional tie to specific health concerns.  I have talked with friends who follow/practice some of these esoteric tenets over the years to identify what the emotional tie is with flu and pneumonia.  The following are individual comments that happened during private conversations, so in the interests of protecting the privacy of all, I am not going to annotate a specific dogma, religion or person's name.  I will say that I have discussed this topic with people from a wide range of walks of life, spanning many organized religions, esoteric tenets and even what we would call "mountain wisdom" here in the southeastern region.

One friend offered the following information:

"...fatal bouts of pneumonia and influenza usually result from an individual's inability to handle multiple fears and challenges overwhelming them in a shorter, more compressed timeframe. Usually the person is drowned in the flood of emotions (fear, anxiety, panic) that engulf them. The 'internal floods' manifest as severe lung congestion which cuts off their connection to breath and sometimes, ultimately, their connection to life."

Another opinion:

"...issues involving the lungs indicate a need to address grief that may have been tucked away and not properly dealt with..."

Yet another, of a mountain wisdom perspective:

"Anything around the heart and the lungs that is severe is telling you that you're literally cutting off your own air.  You're allowing something emotional to grow to such proportions that it feels as though you're suffocating, and that begins to manifest physically in your body."

I think many of us can admit to being guilty of any of those three.  We all battle fear based thoughts on a daily, sometime minute by minute basis.  We all have had moments of loss where we didn't properly address the grief stages, whether from personal preference or from necessity of getting back into the hectic pace of work life, we've all done it.

When I began to delve deeply and pick apart the layers of my own life in this past year, I was able to easily identify areas and experiences that I could have dealt with more efficiently and more honestly.  I say "easily identify" because when I began this process, it was with a borderline ruthless determination to put an end to this cycle of repetitive illness.  I have dealt with pneumonia and respiratory issues most of my life, and I feel it is time to put stop to that cycle.

So, this inner searching had to be very honest.  I had to admit to areas where I had possibly been sloppy in my own processing, or where I had avoided tending to my own emotions.  THAT was the bigger wake-up call...that I was clearly slapped in the face with the fact that I had been regularly neglecting my own emotions.  Those who know me well would say that I am a very nurturing, caring, loving person, yet there I sat, confronting my own culpability.  There were both small and large issues where I had failed to care for myself properly because I was focused on caring for the world at large.  Over time, this type of personal neglect is going to build up and eventually, something will have to give.  The most obvious effect is illness, as all that toxic build-up has to find a path of exit.  Now that this illness has set into my body, I am doing my best to ride the wave of it all and allow it to burn off what is necessary to be burned off.

Am I saying that I've been walking around in a constant robotic state, endlessly stuffing down my emotions? Not at all.  What I have been guilty of, however, is of allowing myself to fall into what I call a "frozen state" when a slew of crisis points hit all at once.  I think that's probably a common reaction, because it hits that instinctive, reptilian fight or flight response deep within our brains.  We shut down on some levels in order to keep functioning, promising ourselves that when things calm down, we will address the emotional side of things.  The reality of life, however, is that things rarely calm down.  Life offers us a steady supply of challenges, scary moments, stressful experiences that lead to grief, anger, loss, frustration and more.  My own life in the last calendar year has been chock full of virtually every aspect that I just listed, and I now am looking at the fact that I need to go back and address some of the emotions that I put on hold out of necessity.

I need to create a more timely approach where I am honoring my own fears and reactions.  Everyone has a different freak out point - that thing or event that hits that will cause a meltdown to occur.  I won't go into specific detail about my own freak out point, but I think the central, common denominator for most is a loss of control.  We all have a very clear picture in our minds of who we are "supposed" to be, how we are "supposed" to project ourselves and how we are "supposed" to be perceived.  Strong.  Independent.  Intelligent.  Powerful.  Happy.  Successful.  Plug in the label of choice - we all have a persona we identify with.  It's when something....or many somethings....hit all at once and possibly jeopardize that persona that fears set in.  Freezing up, for many, is the result.  For me, that freezing up process is an internal one.  While that can be a good coping mechanism for the short term, it is the long term fall out that I am now focused on mitigating.  It's time to find a better method for dealing with high levels of stress, rather than putting them immediately on the side burner to tend to at some foggy future date that rarely receives true attention.

I know the habits I've neglected that are helpful - yoga, meditation, reading and writing for pleasure, spending time with family and friends, being out in nature, being artistically creative.  The firm truth is that I need to get back to creating time for myself first. This is a malady that has reached epidemic proportions the world over, putting ourselves last.  We all know that if we are not healthy, we are not going to be of any good to those we love, we are not going to be efficient co-workers, employers or employees.  That analogy of the airplane going down is a good one - unless YOU put the air mask on yourself FIRST, you won't be able to be of any use to anyone else as the plane goes down.

In my own personal experience, how apt is that analogy?  I failed to put my proverbial oxygen mask on throughout much of 2011, and the result has been that my body finally rebelled in a manner that mimicked my emotions....I got sick with a respiratory illness that rapidly progressed to pneumonia.  I cut off my own oxygen supply, in a way, from freezing up over and over.  From putting my own emotions on hold to tend to everything else in the world, I was communicating to myself on an emotional level that I didn't matter....and I slowly cut off the oxygen.  The smarter move would have been to immediately reach for that proverbial oxygen mask, to take care of myself first, to establish a clear airway for myself first, so that I was given time to access tools to carry on.

As that proverbial plane goes down, reverting to crisis thinking has become a negative habit for me that I  now need to change.  Will it be an easy process?  It can be, if I embrace change instantly, but that's not a realistic expectation.  I'm like most people in that I adapt to change slowly, and my own spin on it is to be very methodical in my approach.  Falling dramatically ill is as good a wake-up call as any, I guess.  It's highly unpleasant to be this ill, so who wouldn't want to investigate new behaviors that can help to avoid a repeat of that experience?

I also want to stress that I am not indicating that I believe we are 100% masterful creators of every single illness that strikes us.  I would not suggest that certain dread diseases are brought about by our own intentions, conscious or otherwise.  I do, however, believe there is truth to some of the emotional tenets I've discussed here; I think that if we are not mindful of our emotional state, this, in turn, can possibly compromise our immune systems enough to allow opportunistic maladies a toe hold in our bodies and then illness can be the result.  If there is even a fraction of truth to this concept, then it behooves me to do some personal house cleaning and put some clear focus into my daily habits and the care that I give myself.  Yearly bouts of pneumonia are unnecessary and I am aware that each bout is dancing with a knife-edge of uncertainty as to the outcome.  Pneumonia, as has been impressed upon me over and over by medical professionals, is not something to take lightly.

So, getting back to that plane going down analogy, we know that I'm not a pilot, obviously.  I can't fly a corporeal plane.  But I CAN  pilot my own Life Path and I can make better, more conscious choices when I am in the midst of a maelstrom of stressors.  I can choose better reactions and I can take care of myself FIRST, and don that oxygen mask as the plane goes down.  That plane going down isn't necessarily a bad thing, because all stories have a natural life cycle. That is a topic for another blog, perhaps.  For now, as this specific plane goes down, it is absolutely possible to save the flight by donning that personal oxygen mask.  By saving myself first, I can do so much more for the rest of the world.  Breathing is good, yes?  I remind loved ones of this regularly, so it is with a gracious acceptance that I embrace the concept as well.

Choosing positivity

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I was recently invited to write a guest post for Mansi Bhatia's First Impressions blog page. It is always an honor to be asked to write for someone else's site, and it gives me the chance to meet new people and write content that I might not come up with on my own.  Mansi gave me free rein to write whatever I chose, simply pointing out that she enjoys my positive approach with my writing. 

So, I pondered the concept of positivity for a couple of days, allowing thoughts to flow and simmer in my mind.  First and foremost, I do strive to see and seek the positive moments in life.  Mansi's comments actually gave me a bright moment, an affirmation of sorts, letting me know that yes, I'm doing what I set out to do each day of my life. 

I'm sure we've all run across those people who shine a bit more brightly than others...they seem lit from within with a secret that makes us curious.  I have found upon getting to know these bright Souls that quite often, they have come from experience of great hardship, sadness and challenges that would cripple many, yet they have found a way to still see beauty in every moment. 

Conversely, we have all also met those people who are like the cartoon figure who walks around followed by his own personal storm cloud.  They are determined to see the gloom in every moment; they dive into a large pool of 'Poor Me' and spend countless hours floating about, plumbing the depths of negativity and sharing that energy with everyone they encounter.  These people are exhausting to be around, as they drain our own energies as we attempt to lighten their hearts without success.

Life is about conscious choices.  I've said countless times that we define ourselves by our reactions to any given set of circumstances.  For me on a personal and professional level, much like millions of other people since the economy tanked in 2008, life has definitely been challenging.  I have reinvented myself and my professional life more times than I can count, and yes, I have been truly scared on a deeply elemental level many times about how I would survive.  During those times, I revealed these concerns to very few people and perhaps that reticence was a mistake.  Everyone does need that soft place to fall and people in whom to confide, and I admit to not always being as forthcoming as I could be.  What I found made the strongest difference for me, apart from having that small inner circle of true, loyal friends, was keeping a positive outlook.  No, it hasn't always been easy to stay positive, but finding reasons to laugh and choosing to seek moments of beauty in every single day kept my heart uplifted and reminded me that my own issues were fleeting.

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http://www.pikeresearch.com/

When we look at an ancient tree flourishing in a field, we are reminded that time marches on and our small human dramas are but a wee blip on the timeline of this world.  When we greet a brisk fall morning and breathe in the fresh air scented with the smoky sting of wood fires, we are part of the cycle of nature.  When we share laughter with friends about some seemingly insignificant moment, we are releasing joyful energy and thought that will never die away, because we have created a positive memory.  Scientists continue to ponder the concept of electrical impulses being eternal, and I remind myself of this fact quite often....my thoughts are energy. 

My actions and words are energy...I am speaking, thinking and behaving in a manner that in some small way, is eternal.  My choices are obvious:  I can choose to sink into the depths of despair and retreat from life, or I can choose to LIVE and find reasons to be appreciative each day. 

My choice is to dwell in positivity.  Of course I don't always achieve this goal each day.  We all have those moments that we admit it might have been the better part of valor to just stay in bed that particular day.  Sometimes it is actually an intrinsic part of balance to have a slower day where things don't always line up perfectly.  Light cannot happen without dark, after all.  Contrasting moments give us the opportunity and clarity to appreciate things in a much more rich manner.  I think that anyone who goes through life without experiencing any challenges, loss or physical pain is very ill equipped for that definitive moment when a negative challege does occur...because it is inevitable that they WILL occur for us all. 



Photo courtesy of
http://www.masaru-emoto.net/

Should we seek out negatives?  Perhaps there is value to recognizing negatives in order to simply learn the true colors of a situation so it may be avoided in the future.  Beyond that, from a holistic health approach, dwelling on negative thoughts isn't the type of energy I want to concentrate in my own body.  There is a frequency to every thought we project, and it can be proven that positive, uplifting, loving and happy thoughts have beneficial effects.  Dr. Masaru Emoto has studied the effects of conscious, projected thoughts on water for years, and has been able to show physical changes in the crystalline structure of frozen water.  This is a dramatic indication of how truly powerful our thoughts are, and underscores even more how important it is for us to choose positive thoughts, actions and words.

I have quite often been labeled a PollyAnna personality, been told that I wear rose colored glasses and that I am a bit too optimistic in nature.  I do not deny any of these comments, as they are true.  I am comfortable with myself and with my approach to life.  I am by no stretch of the imagination a perfectly evolved Soul; if that were true, I wouldn't be here on this Earth School, learning along with everyone else.  I do, however, find a rightness and a sense of calm, peace and balance in choosing to focus on positivity on a daily basis.  There is such beauty in the world, everywhere we cast our eyes, if we CHOOSE to see it.  Yes, there is also ugliness, imbalance, unfairness and lack in abundance, but the focus here is the other side of this coin.  Positive thoughts can move mountains in a figurative sense, making those dark areas fade into insignificance if enough join together in that positive energy.

Mansi invited me to write this guest post on her wonderful blog page because she saw something uplifting in my writing style.  My writing style reflects my true nature and gives voice to those things, issues, emotions and thoughts that I find to be most important and dynamic.  The fact that another talented writer recognizes and appreciates my message in my writing gave me a particularly sweet moment.  It brightened a day that I admit was a trifle lackluster and renewed my own Spirit.  As I finish writing this post in preparation of sharing it with Mansi's readers, there are birds singing outside my office window.  The air is fresh and crisp with that essentially full bodied autumn flavor, and Nature is just beginning to paint fall color on the leaves of the tree that keeps me company each day as I work.  In that one single glance, I have witnessed visual beauty and have been uplifted by it.  My rose colored glasses have remained firmly on my nose, I admit this without a single qualm. 

I think that choosing to embrace positivity is a noble undertaking. It may sound quite simplistic at first glance, but I assure you, there are days that I find it quite challenging to accomplish! Regardless of the challenge, it is what I choose because I feel it is important to address each day with a conscious regard towards making a strong and positive mark.  I have learned over the years, and particularly since I began writing for Healing Morning blog, that this conscious choice does make a difference and that it has impacted those around me in a positive manner.  That spurs me on and encourages me to continue.  Occasionally, I am blessed in return by such a moment as this invitation from Mansi, letting me know that someone recognizes my Light as I do theirs. 

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http://www.flickr.com/

I call it the lambent glow of our Spirit, and as I close here, I am convinced that the satisfaction of sharing these thoughts has amped up my own personal Light considerably.  If you see it, shining in the distance, I am sure it is because your own Light glows brightly in return.

Brightness of the heart can never be truly extinguished, my friends.

Namaste'.
_________________________
Take a moment to visit Mansi Bhatia's wonderful blog, First Impressions. She is one of my favorite bloggers because of her ability to laser through all the layers of distraction and write clean, concise and inspired words on her chosen topics.

The Great Hug Debate

Hugging - Webster's Dictionary tells us that this is a transition verb, most likely of Scandinavian origin, deriving from the Old Norse word "hugga" (to soothe) with the modern day definition being to:

1. press tightly to
2. hold fast
3. stay close to

Okay, so we have the definition.  We all know what a hug is.  The interesting thing to me is how different people perceive the act of hugging.  How about you?  Are you an enthusiastic hugger?  Do you embrace others joyfully with both arms circling for a nice, long squeeze?  Or are you a hug avoider - one of those people who half-heartedly pats others on the back with one arm only, your torso angling away, the whole while sidling awkwardly and quickly out of reach?

As with most expressions of affection, there is no right or wrong answer.  Some of how you view the act of hugging has to do with the environment surrounding your formative years.  My very earliest memories are of my own family - a huge, very closely knit clan - being of the enthusiastic hugger variety.  This, in fact, wasn't always the case, and I didn't learn this until perhaps 15 years ago.  In a random conversation at one of our numerous family reunions (we have a lot of those), an Aunt commented on how much we do hug, and also commented that, "It wasn't always like that though - what made it change and the hugging get started?"  I remember my Mom answering, quite bluntly, "It was when we had all those people pass away so abruptly within such a short span of time."  That was a sobering realization, but also an uplifting one.

photo:  www.sarahrhoades.com

My Mom was talking about a two or three year span in the early 1970's where we lost a series of very dear family members - a Great Aunt, a Mother/Grandmother, an Aunt, and an Uncle.  My Mom is one of 9 siblings, so we are a huge group of people.  This means that death isn't an unknown element and some of these family members had lived long, full lives.  Two others were younger than I am today when they passed with very little warning.  I have no idea who began the practice of hugging during this time period, but it became part of our family ritual and happened when I was so wee that I don't remember life without hugs as a daily occurrence. 

What I feel is noteworthy in regard to my family is that we chose, collectively, to weather a series of tragic losses by growing closer, embracing both literally and figuratively, the ones still living.  The reverse could so easily have happened, with our family fracturing and growing apart.  I am happy to say that we chose the more positive path and this gave all of us an immensely strong foundation from which to draw upon.  I've often been known to state that hugs should be a form of world currency, and as corny and rose-colored glasses mindset as it sounds, I think hugs make us better people. Perhaps, in some small way, if anyone who knows me has always wondered at my enthusiastic hugging, this gives a small window into the birth of this tendency in me.

On a health benefits basis, hugs DO make a difference.  They have been scientifically proven to lower blood pressure and heart rate, thus reducing heart disease.  People who hug more frequently tend to be more open about their emotions and develop a greater sense of closeness and compassion to those around them.  Hugs have also been shown to improve overall mood, increase nerve activity and release the hormone oxytocin - this is the "love bonding" hormone that allows new parents, male and female alike, to bond with their babies. Hugging even helps to ease symptoms of insomnia and calms erratic brain waves. I could list many more benefits of hugging, but these alone are impressive.  Dare I suggest this could be called a true miracle application in a holistic health approach?

Several sources suggest that everyone needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival, eight hugs a day for emotional strength, and 12 hugs a day to really grow and be empowered. Stop and think about just how often you give or get a hug.

It seems to be more common - and this isn't a gender bashing comment here - that men are less comfortable with hugging than women are.  In fact, this whole topic was sparked by a good natured debate on Facebook w/ a good male friend of mine.  He finally just suggested I write a blog, and the rest is history...you're reading the result.  What do you feel is the reason for the Great Divide between genders regarding hugging?  Do you, personally, enjoy hugging, or do you dread it?  Do you hug with ease or dread the mere mention of the word, let alone the actual act of giving or receiving a hug?  I find this to be an interesting topic, and certainly one deserving of endless discussion.

I am a fan of hugging, for those of you who are curious, but perhaps you already got that from reading about my family history above.  In my personal world, with family, when we come together, hugs are the natural greeting and the same is true for when we depart from one anothers' presence.  I hug close friends with equal fervor - to me, it is a way of expressing genuine care, love, reassurance, beyond just being a happy greeting.  I feel that hugs matter, greatly.  This is my personal stance on The Great Hug Debate.  What's yours?