Newly vacated space

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Bing images

From the moment that our human minds mature enough to understand cause and effect, we are in an endless search for peace, satisfaction and happiness.  Life definitely throws us curveballs regularly, keeping us challenged in new ways.  I don't think that we ever truly maintain the same definition of "normal" throughout the years.  In fact, I've often thought that achieving an endless state of satisfaction might be a death knell to myriad facets of life.  I know that I thrive when I am consciously aware that I am growing, changing and being pushed to broaden my horizons. In fact, I tend to pursue such a state.  I call it "Low Boredom Threshold", as I am always happiest when I have something new to conquer in my personal or business life.

A recent question was posed about how our immediate environment affects our emotional state.  What works best to create a sense of calm?  Obviously, this is going to vary widely from person to person, and from day to day.  I have found, on a purely personal level, that where I am emotionally is what strikes the tone for experiencing solid happiness and contentment.  That sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?!  You're thinking, of course your emotions dictate your level of happiness.  Yes, they do, but what I'm talking about is delving deeper. 

For a good part of my life, I based a lot of my personal happiness on outward labels.  The most important label was what I did for work - what I did to pay the bills, where I occupied 80% of my time in the business week.  Given that I also spent a good number of years searching and trying on various careers to find the right fit (Low Boredom Threshold, remember?), I kept thinking that it was me....something I was doing was the problem.  In a way, that was the truth, because I was identifying my dissatisfaction with each job I held.  That dissatisfaction boiled down to the fact that I wasn't recognizing who and what I really was. 

I wasn't any of those jobs.  I just hadn't come to that state of conscious realization yet.  I did identify myself as what I was doing at any given time - be it office management, retail management, real estate, medical research, holistic health provider, and a whole slew of other industries.  Underlying the success that I experienced in each endeavor, there was always this nagging sense of dissatisfaction.  Some of it came from various corporate rules, and I'm the first to admit that I'm not a fan of a lot of those rules.  The majority of it came from the fact that I was putting so much weight and demand into the label I carried.  Those various job titles never felt "right" to me.

Fast forward to the last four to five years and the whole global economy changing so drastically.  Like everyone else in the world, my cozy little existence got turned upside down and I was forced to revamp and reinvent myself, more than once....more than twice, to be honest.  In a curious manner, the ups and downs that I experienced forced me to be much more present and practical about what worked best for me in all areas of life.  When things get pared down to bare essentials and you're starting from zero more than once, you quickly develop the ability to identify key elements that make the most sense. 

For me, this translated into creating a freelancing business and being my own boss, per se.  It's not always the easiest existence, as you're dependent upon the vagaries of the job market and economy in a slightly different manner, but it is a satisfying one.  I am able to choose the clients and industries where I want to work, and I am able to focus my career in directions that I choose.  I no longer depend on any sort of corporate entity to be the sole source of income, and I don't know that I ever want to go back to that way of life.  I am much happier knowing that I have multiple streams of income, and multiple opportunities in a much wider pool of clients and industries.  When bad things happen - as Life has a way of handing us those challenges in that out of the blue delivery mode - knowing that I have alternative options immediately available gives me a stronger peace of mind.

While this is my own specific experience, the deeper message that I am conveying is that it took me almost half my life to learn to stop identifying and qualifying who I am with any job that I do.  I now identify myself as a writer, plain and simple. And an entrepreneur.  Whatever I do in an ancillary manner to pay the bills is simply that....a means to an end.  I no longer invest my whole identity into someone else's vision, unless it is in a support application with my freelancing business.  I now invest my heart and soul into what gives me joy, and that is being a creative person.  The emotional freedom and sense of wellness that comes along with this new approach cannot be underestimated.  The fascinating thing is that by freeing up myself in this manner, I have noticed that prosperity seems to flow more efficiently.  Connections flourish more easily and timing seems to click more readily.

Does this mean that I no longer have difficult moments?  Absolutely not.  In fact, a bad moment hit me today that I wasn't quite prepared for.  I had had an intuition that things with this specific situation might not be all they appeared on the surface, but I wasn't prepared for the hitting the brick wall at maximum velocity delivery manner that occurred.  Ten or fifteen years ago, this type of bad news would have been devastating to me, as I would have internalized and beaten myself up as the sole source and reason for things going wrong.  I no longer do that these days.  Instead, as many dear friends pointed out upon hearing this news, this type of abrupt closure is always a clear indication of better things being prepared to come into that newly vacated space. 

What I am appreciative of at this point in my life is how I react to seemingly bad news.  I look much deeper than I used to.  I delve into the message and lessons being conveyed and I take the obvious opportunity for growth very seriously.  I recognize where I have impacted any given situation in a positive or negative manner, and I learn from it.  But the most important realization, for me, is that I am at a point in my life where I do not predicate my self worth on outside sources.  My emotional health definitely comes from within, and from there springs my complete happiness.  Even in the midst of admittedly bad news, such as that which I received today, I can honestly say I'm not broken hearted, dismayed or even too terribly upset.  I'm at an emotional and mental stage where I see balance and logic in every occurrence.  I won't lie and say I'm not frustrated with this temporary snag, because we never like to weather bad news, but all in all, I see Divine Order in everything around me.  This newly vacated space is waiting for new and different energy to set up housekeeping and provide new experiences.

So, from the perspective of how our environment affects our emotional well being, I guess the stronger message would be to first look inward and see how reactive each of us may be to a given situation.  I'm choosing to view my own recent experience of this newly vacated space as an opportunity.

Contrasts



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Bing images



Contrast: transitive verb
1:  to set off in contrast; to compare or appraise in respect to differences

I chose the word above as the focus of this blog because my life has been a constant stream...a literal parade, recently, of contrasts.

I don't know about anyone else who might be reading this post, but I have been struggling. That's been happening for the past three years as a result of the economy tanking, and for me, it has waxed and waned in intensity.  As a freelance writer, I have experienced some very lean times.  For the most part, I accept this as part of the whole concept of freelancing; work goes in cycles, so you learn to plan ahead and budget accordingly.

I have observed that a great deal of similar energy has been hitting friends and family members, to such an extreme degree that I was driven to research what planetary aspects might be casting some of this energy. I can't quote specifics here because I'm not that well versed in astrology sciences, but a close friend mentioned that we're in a current difficult cycle where erratic energies will affect emotions, relationships and finances through January 2011.  Great news, right?!  Emotions, relationships and finances pretty much cover the whole gamut of our daily lives!



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Bing images

 I have a girlfriend who is on my "Short List" of friends - those people who we allow to get truly close to our hearts and that we trust the most.  This past week, she experienced one of the most unexpected, most earth shattering personal experiences within a relationship it is possible to have.  This woman is one of the most beautiful people I know, beautiful inside and out, compassionate, caring, giving, kind, funny...she's just a special Light.  For this to happen to her is bewildering, astounding and baffling.  I realize it is happening for a reason, as all dramatic occurrences do.  She is meant to learn a specific something from the experience.  I know that.  It is just such a deeply dramatic situation, of such an enormity that one must pause to comprehend the magnitude of what is happening to her.

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Bing images

Then along comes that word of contrasts. I have also witnessed some truly beautiful moments recently.  My very dear friend and partner in crime in the blogging world, Duane Scott, is getting married on November 7, 2011.  He is so happy right now that I have the mental image of him being one of those cartoon characters that is floating several inches off the ground, buoyed by love, little pulsating hearts replacing the pupils of his eyes.  He is so young, on the brink of starting his whole adult life, and he has been blessed to meet that special person at this early stage.  I can only be happy for him.  I am unable to attend the wedding, to my everlasting frustration, but I will be there in my heart tomorrow as the ceremony takes place.  Additionally, he and his new wife will be visiting me on their drive home from their honeymoon in about 10 days.  The opportunity to spend time face to face will be wonderful...an early Christmas gift of sorts.  They will both still be literally glowing with that Just Married inner light, and that energy will radiate outward. 

The friendship that I have with each separate person mentioned here has grown from these contrasting moments in each of their lives.  One friend is in the depths of despair right now, just fumbling and attempting to find enough balance to get through that next moment.  She is riding that rollercoaster of emotions and navigating her way through the stages of grief with Grace, and doing it pretty much alone.  I am not able to physically get to where she is, and can only be there via phone, texting and prayer.  One friend is tripping merrily along as he approaches one of the most important days of his young life, and he is doing it with humor and cheer.  He is posting absurd little thumbnail sketches of each progressive day of wedding build up, texting me with various "help me with this, please" requests and generally enjoying where his life is leading.

Contrasts.  These two friends and where they are in their respective lives have repeatedly brought that word to mind.  All around me, I am hearing of many people struggling with very dramatic Life Challenges.  I capitalize those two words to denote the enormity - a girlfriend's father was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer; another friend was in a very bad car wreck and she's been unemployed for over 18 months; more people than I can count are inches from being homeless because of unemployment.  Yet, in the midst of all of this, contrast comes in and I see reason to rejoice and celebrate.



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flickr.com

 I reached a personal milestone this past week that I never thought I would achieve.  I won't go into detail, but it is a milestone I am very proud of.  Yesterday, I was at the mailbox - the day was overcast and windy.  Suddenly the clouds broke open momentarily to clear blue skies and the sun beamed down onto a small patch of shrubbery and I saw a sticker or decal of a Smiley face snagged on the branches.  How could that happen, if not for the unseen hand of a Higher Power parting those clouds and directing that beam of light to find that tiny sticker?  I laughed out loud at the very clear, implicit message.  It was contrast in a very explicit manner - the gray, wet, windy day briefly gifted me with not only blue skies and sunshine, but also with a cheerful Smiley face in the most seemingly random fashion.  It was a Divine "made ya look, made ya grin, made ya laugh!" kind of message that was irresistable in the cheeky, brash humor of it all.  I admire a Higher Power that sends me this type of message!

For those who are struggling right now, I feel your pain, disillusionment and frustration.  I flit in and out of that same pool right now and I recognize the challenge it is for all of us to choose brighter, happier thoughts in the midst of so much worry and concern for the immediate future.  We all know that contrast is necessary.  Therefore, these darker moments are necessary in order for us to fully appreciate the happier times.  Without darkness, we cannot have daylight.  But the promise we have been given is a beautiful one, and that is that after darkness, there will come daylight.

I don't have easy answers for any of us who are struggling.  All I can say is that I have been captured by the fact that there is such a strong example of extreme contrast around me.  I think this is happening for a reason, although I couldn't even begin to understand the deepest logic behind it all.  I would obviously wish for the girlfriend in despair to be lifted up, reassured, comforted and given a quick resolution to her current situation.  I would also wish for my guy friend to never have to experience a single cloudy day in his brand new marriage.  We all know that neither wish can come true.  Indeed, each of these dear friends must navigate their own realities as best they can, and learn the lessons presented to each path.  As their friend, my role is to both celebrate the good times, and be supportive during the bad times.  More moments of contrast result from this. 

My girlfriend will be strengthened by this current trial and she will come out of it an even better, more beautiful version of herself.  My guy friend will go home after his honeymoon and become enmeshed in the daily challenges of cohabiting with a brand new wife, and he also will become a better version of himself. 


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http://www.artbylisa.com/


As a result of friendship with both these wonderful people, my life is blessed and the contrasts are endless.  Friendships are the defining, delicate touches of color on our Souls, I think.  Each person we allow into our Inner Circle adds a new element to our personal canvas, and in so doing, they add contrast.  I also become a stronger, more well rounded, more beautiful and better version of myself from these relationships. 

This week, each person represents that widest spectrum of contrast, and as a result, they prompted me to write this post.  I am unsure if it makes a great deal of logical sense, as I am swinging back and forth on a fulcrum....deeply sad for my girlfriend, and joyously happy for my guy friend.  The fulcrum itself is Me, and my love for both of them.  I imagine that my personal canvas has gained new depth, color and expression because of the events in both their lives this week.  Contrast continues....and we grow as a result.