Zero Happy

So, the conversation happened on Facebook today, and it went like this:

 

How often are we able to say our day was blessed with such an unexpected, sweet moment like this?!  Zero Dean is a friend that I met through Facebook and he is one of the most talented, funny, kind people that I have yet to meet face to face.  I have met several people in person whom I originally met via social media; Zero is still on that list of need-to-meet-in-person.  I'm working on getting him out to my side of the country in 2015.  I'm sure he will find a way to create a storyline, take beautiful pictures and video footage in the process.

So, today for me is the day following a big professional networking event.  The day after these events tends to be full of tying off loose ends, tending to final details, and putting plans in place for the next event.  You rarely have downtime between each of these events - you're always working on the current event, finishing up from the most recent one, or planning for the next one.  "No rest for the weary" is an axiom that applies here.  This is not a complaint, mind you.  I am sharing what has been going on in my world this week to indicate that my energy today has been a trifle low.  That's not unexpected, as I've been doing this type of event management for many years - I expect to be mentally and physically tired the day after a successful event.  That proved true for today, and I have been working primarily in my home office and on the phone.  No running of errands, no leaving the house.  Just getting my second wind and winding down the business week.  

And out of the blue, I clicked on the Facebook notification that led me to the above conversation with Zero. (Yes, that's his real name; no, it's not a nickname; it's his story to tell and we're focusing on something different here today.  Ask him about it; it's an interesting story!)  I don't know about anyone else who is reading this, but I admit to sitting and staring at the words on my laptop screen that Zero shared, more than a little stunned.  Stunned in a good way!  Humbled, of a certainty.  Charmed a fair amount, and then puzzled as to how my coming up in his conversation prompted him to smile.  I guess that we rarely see ourselves in such a light, and I've discussed this very topic before here at Healing Morning (One Wish, Healing Morning, 12/15/2009, and By any other name, Healing Morning, 1/9/2011).  We tend to default more to self-doubt and lack of self-confidence.  If we're fortunate, occasionally someone close to our heart will take the time to remind us of that golden light that emanates from us.  That's what Zero did for me today.  He reminded me of the beauty of my spirit....of my True Self.

I still have no idea what the content of the conversation was that Zero referenced happening to him this morning, and I have no idea with whom he had this conversation.  What matters to me is that he had this experience in this conversation, and he recognized that it made him happy.  Better still, he went that extra step to reach out to me and let me know I was part of his happy moment.  I truly cannot think of any higher compliment, or of anything more surely guaranteed to delight the heart.  

Knowing we're in some small way responsible for lifting someone's heart, for tipping their lips to smile, for sparking a twinkle into their eyes.....that is value beyond measure! 

Zero is one of those bright spirits who is bucking traditional thoughts and is creating his own unique existence.  I expect great things from him in the near future, as he is talented in so many tangible ways.  What I appreciate the most about him is hard to define.  He makes me laugh constantly, because we share a similar irreverent sense of humor.  He makes me ponder deeply, because he is as interested as I am in delving more deeply into people than is common.  He touches my heart with a level of compassion and sweetness (which will probably horrify him - manly men do not prefer labels such as "sweetness" applied to their manly selves) that sometimes renders me silent, and prompts tears.  That's what he did today - he had me smiling and tearing up from taking maybe 10 seconds out of his day to post that message on my Facebook page.  He cared enough to share his Happy with me and as I replied to him, that caused the Happy to become exponential.  I love this guy, can y'all tell? 

Because I love him, and appreciate him, I want the world to know about him.  I want people to discover the zany fun and shenaniganry he tosses about.  I want people to discover his incredibly beautiful photography and videos.  I want people to appreciate his agile mind, and his dedication to touching the world in a different manner.  You can find my friend, Zero, on his Facebook page, and on his website, where all of his artistic and literary endeavors come together in one location.

I am coining a new term, which I think he will enjoy - today he gave me a Zero Happy moment!  

Space Between

photo:  www.berlinembroidery.com

I've been silent here for several months.  I began blogging in 2009 and am approaching my five year anniversary in a couple of months.  In the last eighteen months or so, my writing here has slowed significantly.  I was never into the posting 3-5 times a week concept with my blog, but it was rare for me to go several weeks without writing something.  Now it has become the norm for me to go several months between posting here.  I haven't stressed overly about that, as I accept that everything has an ebb and flow to it.

I don't foresee ever completely abandoning this space, or the Healing Morning concept.  I expect that it will morph and grow with me throughout my life.  For the nonce, I am in a quiet phase with Healing Morning.  It isn't that I have nothing to say here.  Some of my thoughts find their way into a manuscript that I am focused upon with the intent of being published.  Other thoughts are valid and worthwhile to be published here, but my heart is simply not into doing it on a frequent basis right now.

Cycles.  Life is a constant series of cycles, of starting over, of learning, of achieving and of moving on.  My current quiet cycle is one that happens to me every couple of years.  I go inward, sorting through my thoughts, surveying where I currently dwell, the people around me, the work I do, and how all of those factors impact me.  What is my emotional health as a result?  How is my heart feeling on a deep, visceral level?  Am I fulfilled?  Am I wishing for more in any area of my life?  And can I fulfill those wishes on my own, or are they better realized with my hand held by another?  The answers to these questions take time, and a strong dose of honesty.  I'm working my way through the questions and the answers.

This is where I am.  Reflecting.  Realizing that endings are imminent.  Good-byes are necessary.  Some have actually already occurred, and one very recently resonated right out of my immediate sphere on its own.  The relief with that one was pretty profound; although there is sincere love for that person still, I recognize that the energy between us was just not meshing in a productive manner any longer.  The other person felt it, also, and an ending occurred.  It was healthy for both of us, and it was time for it to occur.  Other potential endings are still being ruminated in my heart and my conscious mind. 

It's a curious thing, how the state of pause can be full of a large degree of energetic activity.  I am in a holding pattern, yet there is a great deal going on around me.  Those cosmic threads are out there in the universe, attracting other energies and weaving new fabric together.  My part in this is to sweep out a lot of cobwebs and let go of old, threadbare clothing that no longer fits, no longer serves, and be ready to clothe myself in this newly woven fabric as it returns to me with all the bright new threads.  Each color a new possibility, a new experience, new relationships, new emotions, new strengths....all to mesh with the Me that stands in all that I have lived to this point.  I don't have a clue where it all will lead.  

So, I remain quiet.  Words are a constant, but they might not always make it here into a published post.  All those colored threads within the words are still forming a reality that is on the brink of manifesting.  I am in that space between breaths, between heartbeats, between blinks of the eye, between thoughts.  In my mind's eye, I exist as a brightly colored wisp of misty vapor, drifting along the currents of my own emotions.  The day-to-day reality keeps me tethered to this Earth School so that I do not drift away completely, and so that I have a path to retrace and come back to self.  Back to the here and now.  Back to that space between.  Back to that moment before the next beating of my heart, where possibilities are hovering, waiting to engage and be realized.

With wisdom gained

photo: http://wallpaperscraft.com/download/hands_pair_touch_54238/2560x1600

“You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me. I dreamed you; I wished for your existence. You will always be a part of my life. If I love you, it must be because we shared, at some moment, the same imaginings, the same madness, the same stage.” - Anaïs Nin

Each time I read this quote, it prompts me to pause and recall moments in time....people who have touched my life and left an indelible mark.  Some positive experiences, some negative ones, with all teaching me about myself, about the world, about life.

It is a curious thing, that which we call Love.  We exist for a lifetime that is specific to our own little bubble of experience, and we are unaware, at least consciously, of that Other for countless years. We live our lives in a state of blissful ignorance, not truly daring to believe that such moments are within the realm of possibility.  But it is possible, and it does happen eventually.  Over the course of an individual lifetime, it happens many times, if we are fortunate enough to see and receive clearly.

Our heart knows them, as does our Soul, because the pure energy of each of us, I believe, dwells in a state of Divine Love.  How could we not recognize that Other, then, when they do step into our Life Path?  It is that moment of the Soul and heart finally exhaling, a long, soundless, "Ahh....there you are.  I've been waiting for you."

And all is brighter, sharper, happier and ohhh, so much more beautiful and vibrant in the world....for a time.

I think, and hope that those who are reading these words are smiling and nodding because each of you have experienced such moments.  Moments of instant friendship.  Moments of familial love that take up residence inside your heart within the twinkling of an eye.  Moments of intellects meshing.  Moments of laughter shared that shake the heart breathless with delight.  Moments of greeting a kindred spirit who speaks your same heart language.  Eyes meeting, energies aligning and smiles blossoming.  It is Love in its purest form when these moments occur, and each is to be cherished.

In this instance, I reflect on what is beautiful, and because it is so, it can be deemed a sad parting to contemplate.  Unbidden, not sought after, and certainly unwanted, yet a sad farewell that sometimes may become necessary.

Is it permanent?  Living my life to this point, I can say with confidence that I have learned there isn't much in this world that is truly permanent.  People who part from us, or from whom we part...sometimes a return does occur. Reunion can manifest through happenstance or by conscious design; sometimes we are blessed with return.

The living that both do in between goodbye and hello cause irrevocable changes in each one, yes.  And with that growth inside both people, the dynamic does change.  Given that we are changed on an intrinsic and cellular level from one blink of an eye to the next visual focusing, from one inhale to the next exhale, from one heartbeat to the next, it is perhaps unique to we humans that we find something to grieve in this type of change.  This type of parting, where the heart feels such wrenching loss that it is challenging to conceive living without the reassuring presence of that other even for a short march of moments, yes, we feel a tangible ending.  And there is a grieving that occurs.

There is also the thought that it is NOT an ending, nor a parting; not in truth.  Perhaps it is a necessary veil of sorts that must lower between the two; filmy and semi-transparent, allowing fleeting, blurred glimpses with the shifting of the air, reminding each with sure and delicate touches. Whispering a familiar note, "Do not forget this one in your deepest heart." That much, the heart and mind can allow and survive, and continue to function.  Softened by an insubstantial yet firm boundary, mayhap the experience can be borne.  Because each of us carry a fragment of one another that is indelibly etched into our respective hearts.

"You carry away with you a reflection of me..."

If Life is kind, and if hearts are open, a return is possible.  A revisiting, with wisdom gained from time apart.  Does that bravery exist now, today?  No.  Now, today, in the immediacy of impending farewell, all that can be hoped for is the potential for the barrage of pain to lessen over time.  This is a given truth, after all, that time does, indeed, heal all wounds. 

Another truth is that Love does not stop, nor does it end, simply because for whatever reasons two become parted, one from the other.

So, in this moment, this now that feels heavy and echoing with the absence of a connection which once filled each day with so much light, the only request is that which was spoken above.  Should we part, for the nonce, carry away with you a reflection of me.  Hold it deep within you, and harbor it gently and safely.  I will do the same.

In Both Directions

http://www.shareinweb.com/imgs/30663-beaming-download.jpg
*The word "delight" is my addition to the above photo.*

"Delight, being another form of love, tends to bless in both directions." - S. Dawn Sievers, 1/12/2014

I wrote the above quote in a thread on my Facebook wall.  The thread was my sharing of a lovely moment experienced the other day, and to give everyone full context, I will share it here:

Best moment of the day: driving home from errands, I stopped at a local Walgreen's to pick up a couple of things. Today's weather was springtime warm, so I had on a short sleeved t-shirt and comfy yoga pants. As I walked out of Walgreen's with my purchases, an elderly gentleman was walking in. He smiled at me, swept a courtly bow and said, "If I were some years younger, I would be sparking you, my dear. Any young lady who wears a Snoopy t-shirt with such panache deserves to be wooed, pursued and swooned." Then he winked at me and sailed into the store. I can't recall my heart being that delighted in ages! 

*Thank you, kind sir, whomever you are! You did, indeed, swoon me!* 

I have experienced this kind of delightful moment many times in my life, and each one remains steadfast in my memory.  Each moment always brings a smile, as did this most recent experience.

Life is so short for each of us. We're given a short span of a lifetime to learn, to grow and experience so much.  And we're asked to cram all of this into the same existence that is barraged by stress, confusion, fatigue, sensory overload coming at us from every direction.  Work, family, governing our personal health, taking care of our home, earning a yearly wage to bank away and provide for our needs....it is no small wonder that many of us go through life on auto-pilot.  I am of the opinion that every single day contains delightful moments such as the one I shared here, but so many of us are so deeply zoned out, our senses dulled by that sensory overload, that we fail to recognize them.

I don't know why I do notice them more than some.  I have always been this way, from my earliest, youngest years.  Unusual moments capture my focus....the tiny ones that vanish in a twinkling of an eye, unless you're looking for them.  And I admit that I tend to lose outward focus on the daily ticking by of everyday life, so captured am I by these delightful moments.   I don't become completely oblivious to the waking world, mind you, but I do get distracted momentarily.  In the best way possible.

That lovely gentleman who gifted me with his own sparkle recognized the power of a simple moment.  He was so full of brightness and happiness that he found a wee moment to share his sparkle with me.  I daresay that his life isn't perfect, or spotless, or without sadness, frustrations and challenges.  Yet he made time in his day to give a complete stranger a moment of delight.  

"How beautiful," is what my deepest heart declares.

I believe this is one of the reasons we sojourn to this Earth School, to embrace an experience where we are allowed to give voice and expression to Love.  We translate the energy of love into music, into architecture, into farming and gardening, into the pursuit of excellence of the physical body through athletics and sports, into the written word in books and poetry, into the visual through movies, dance, painting, sculpting, weaving and more.  We do these things in a human effort to express what is unspoken inside us, that core of brilliant, white hot pulsing of wordless Divine Presence.  

And sometimes, we express that wordless brilliance with a simple human interaction that produces delight. 

Then we share that simple human interaction, and the delight is experienced in an exponential manner, touching hearts, tipping lips to smile, and eyes to twinkle.  The courtly manners of that beautiful man came shining right out his heart to entwine with mine, gifting me with something that is difficult to put into words. I am attempting that here, yet feel I am falling short.  What I do know is that such courtly manners from an earlier era will always bring delight to me.  I see so little of this type of politesse these days, and when it is expressed in such a whimsical fashion, it simply must be remembered and shared so that it inspires others to act on an impulse moment to brighten the day of another.   

It is worth repeating....

Delight, being another form of love, tends to bless in both directions.