Tuesday, February 18, 2014

With wisdom gained

photo: http://wallpaperscraft.com/download/hands_pair_touch_54238/2560x1600
“You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me. I dreamed you; I wished for your existence. You will always be a part of my life. If I love you, it must be because we shared, at some moment, the same imaginings, the same madness, the same stage.” - Anaïs Nin

Each time I read this quote, it prompts me to pause and recall moments in time....people who have touched my life and left an indelible mark.  Some positive experiences, some negative ones, with all teaching me about myself, about the world, about life.

It is a curious thing, that which we call Love.  We exist for a lifetime that is specific to our own little bubble of experience, and we are unaware, at least consciously, of that Other for countless years. We live our lives in a state of blissful ignorance, not truly daring to believe that such moments are within the realm of possibility.  But it is possible, and it does happen eventually.  Over the course of an individual lifetime, it happens many times, if we are fortunate enough to see and receive clearly.

Our heart knows them, as does our Soul, because the pure energy of each of us, I believe, dwells in a state of Divine Love.  How could we not recognize that Other, then, when they do step into our Life Path?  It is that moment of the Soul and heart finally exhaling, a long, soundless, "Ahh....there you are.  I've been waiting for you."


And all is brighter, sharper, happier and ohhh, so much more beautiful and vibrant in the world....for a time.

I think, and hope that those who are reading these words are smiling and nodding because each of you have experienced such moments.  Moments of instant friendship.  Moments of familial love that take up residence inside your heart within the twinkling of an eye.  Moments of intellects meshing.  Moments of laughter shared that shake the heart breathless with delight.  Moments of greeting a kindred spirit who speaks your same heart language.  Eyes meeting, energies aligning and smiles blossoming.  It is Love in its purest form when these moments occur, and each is to be cherished.

In this instance, I reflect on what is beautiful, and because it is so, it can be deemed a sad parting to contemplate.  Unbidden, not sought after, and certainly unwanted, yet a sad farewell that sometimes may become necessary.

Is it permanent?  Living my life to this point, I can say with confidence that I have learned there isn't much in this world that is truly permanent.  People who part from us, or from whom we part...sometimes a return does occur. Reunion can manifest through happenstance or by conscious design; sometimes we are blessed with return.

The living that both do in between goodbye and hello cause irrevocable changes in each one, yes.  And with that growth inside both people, the dynamic does change.  Given that we are changed on an intrinsic and cellular level from one blink of an eye to the next visual focusing, from one inhale to the next exhale, from one heartbeat to the next, it is perhaps unique to we humans that we find something to grieve in this type of change.  This type of parting, where the heart feels such wrenching loss that it is challenging to conceive living without the reassuring presence of that other even for a short march of moments, yes, we feel a tangible ending.  And there is a grieving that occurs.

There is also the thought that it is NOT an ending, nor a parting; not in truth.  Perhaps it is a necessary veil of sorts that must lower between the two; filmy and semi-transparent, allowing fleeting, blurred glimpses with the shifting of the air, reminding each with sure and delicate touches. Whispering a familiar note, "Do not forget this one in your deepest heart." That much, the heart and mind can allow and survive, and continue to function.  Softened by an insubstantial yet firm boundary, mayhap the experience can be borne.  Because each of us carry a fragment of one another that is indelibly etched into our respective hearts.


"You carry away with you a reflection of me..."

If Life is kind, and if hearts are open, a return is possible.  A revisiting, with wisdom gained from time apart.  Does that bravery exist now, today?  No.  Now, today, in the immediacy of impending farewell, all that can be hoped for is the potential for the barrage of pain to lessen over time.  This is a given truth, after all, that time does, indeed, heal all wounds. 


Another truth is that Love does not stop, nor does it end, simply because for whatever reasons two become parted, one from the other.

So, in this moment, this now that feels heavy and echoing with the absence of a connection which once filled each day with so much light, the only request is that which was spoken above.  Should we part, for the nonce, carry away with you a reflection of me.  Hold it deep within you, and harbor it gently and safely.  I will do the same.

10 comments:

  1. Whilst reading this beautiful, deep emotional piece, I purposefully took my time; I didn’t want to miss a miniscule moment of thought or word... I sensed real emotion, and I was taken aback by a distinct heaviness within my chest, which overcame me to the point of struggling to go on, not really wanting to feel its message... I consider myself to be the luckiest woman on the planet to have met, fallen in love and know that all these years later, I still hold the golden key to his heart.

    My world would cease to be if he were not here, and yet, the joy of remembering the day we met, and as if by some magic I knew he would be mine and I his... The memories flowed and that’s when I realised the writing, and author, had for me managed to bring about beautiful recollections for me to reminisce, so Dawn my darling friend, thank you for evoking deep, wonderful emotions and feelings, it made me want to cry happy tears for my own fortune, and yet at the same time, it made me want to weep for those who have not yet been fortunate enough, to find the person they know absolutely exists... <3

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    1. My dear Jane, I always smile when you visit! I also smile for you with the good fortune you have had in your personal life, as I know you have walked a challenging path at times. I guess we all have when it comes right down to it. Relationships are there to encourage us to grow and change, and sometimes they're not meant to be permanent within the span of a lifetime. For those who are blessed to have that permanency, it's a beautiful thing.

      I'm glad that that article gave you the opportunity to step back and view your relationship with your love in a different perspective. I know that you never take it, or him, for granted, and I think that that's another reason why both of you remain so tightly bonded. May it always be so! <3

      - Dawnie

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  2. Oh yes.....I have felt this. That instant "familial recognition" and just think, we could walk by hundreds of these every day and miss them if we aren't aware of the possibilies......Peace be with you Dawn, your posts are always food for good thought that touch the heart deeply.

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    1. Lori, it is a beautiful thing when it occurs, and when we're consciously aware of the shifting, yes? It's that part, the choice to be consciously aware that is so pivotal and enriching. Peace be with you in return, my friend! Thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts with me today. :)

      - Dawn

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  3. Dawn, this touched me so deeply... I met and fell in love with my soul mate... I knew him since I was 15 and we did not date until we were 47 and unfortunately we didn't make it relationship wise but we continued to be the best of friends... then it all changed in Sept of 2013 and now we don't talk and I have not been right since... my heart is broken ...

    I am going to be writing a post and I would like to link your blog post back, I would like your permission to do so... this is so beautiful

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    1. Launna, I am so sorry to hear of your personal loss with someone who was so deeply in your heart. There aren't any words that can be written or spoken that can assuage that quality of pain, not anything that will avoid lessening the depth of what you have experienced. So, I will not offer platitudes and shallow, easy statements. I know what you're going through and I am sincerely compassionate toward you. Perhaps the act of writing about your experience as you've indicated you planned to do will offer you some level of peace. I do hope that for you. And absolutely, you are welcome to link back to this post. I appreciate you asking, and I am honored that you think enough of my words to share them with your readers.

      Be well, sweetheart. Nothing about what you're going through is easy, so I send you love and support. <3

      - Dawnie

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  4. You have expressed so eloquently here what it means to make that extraordinary connection with another, that precious, indefinable moment when love takes on a life of its own, and that person will always carry with him or her a piece of your heart as you will theirs. I am so blessed to have found a soul mate in Danny. I have had other relationships and friendships where I've felt that indescribable connection, and I will ever treasure those.
    Beautiful post, dear Dawn!

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    1. Martha, thank you for sharing your thoughts! When we're in the thick of writing out emotions, there's always that doubt that the message is being clearly communicated. I'm glad that it all made sense in the end! I see such joy between you and your Danny on a regular basis - in your writing, on your FB page, in your smiles. It's always nice to have that little window in the world to see others living that happy existence.

      Blessings to you, chickadee! :)

      - Dawn

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  5. This is so beautiful, you write with such depth and emotion. This was very nostalgic-evoking for me. Thank you for taking the time to write and share this, you have a new follower!

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    1. Hello there and please forgive me for the delay in responding to you! I am happy to know that this piece touched a common chord for you. It wasn't easy to write, as the topic is obviously one of emotional sadness and pain, but I have found that such moments almost demand that I write them out. I imagine that if I am feeling and thinking such thoughts, others are, also, and perhaps my approach and my unique spin of words might prove healing to others. Thank you for choosing to follow me! I shall visit your world in return.

      Namaste',

      - Dawn

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