Tuesday, January 12, 2010

It changed everything

The title of this blog post above is taken from a great newsletter email that I receive regularly.  A girlfriend told me about this website that sends affirmations that are tailored to your personal wishes and dreams.  The website is called Tut's Adventure Club.  You register with them, fill out a brief form and then you begin receiving these wonderful, positive, happy emails from The Universe.  I encourage anyone reading this post to check the website out at the link provided above. 

Now, to get back to my point.  Today's email from The Universe was as follows:

"Thanks, Dawn, for every single time you ever fell in love.  Whether or not it was obvious. Whether or not it lasted. And whether or not you were loved back.  It changed everything." Notes from The Universe
That was such an electrifying comment to me!  How beautifully simple and concise a thought to ponder.  We as humans are more apt to focus on the attendant baggage of love, aren't we?  "I loved him, but..."  or "It was almost perfect, except for..."  or "If only..."  or "What if..." Do any of these sound familiar? Who hasn't had at least one, if not all of those thoughts? It's so much easier to get distracted with all the detritus of a romantic relationship, and indeed, many of those details are very important and deserving of our focus. There is so much more, however, to remember from past relationships, with much of it being positive. 

This note from The Universe in my Inbox just stopped me in my tracks.  I call those "polarizing moments", where a thought, a book, a remark - something grabs your attention with such impact that you are literally forced to stop and ponder.  Personally, I love those moments.  They cause me to consider different angles and perspectives that I might not have reached as quickly if left to my own slower approach. I might end up not agreeing with the polarizing moment, I might not adopt that new perspective, but I always come away from those moments changed.  I always learn something new about myself.

How refreshing a perspective from which to view love.  If we're alive, we're going to meet people, fall in love, fall out of love, be blissfully happy, plumb the depths of despair and feel every minute facet, shade and nuance of love.  Love found, love lost.  The loves lost are usually ones that spark feelings of regret, anger...a whole boatload of negative emotions.  How freeing, may I say, is it to draw an imaginary mark on our personal journey or calendar and say that perhaps this is the moment that I learned to think about past loves in a completely different light?  I kind of like that idea.

We are all the sum total of our experiences - the good, the bad and the ugly.  Change an experience and you change who you are today.  Obviously, we can't turn back time and cherry pick the moments.  I think most of us can admit that the difficult times, difficult relationships and memories taught us valuable life skills.  "I'll never do THAT again!"  Right?!  I've had plenty of those epiphanic experiences, haven't you?  And I'm a more balanced, more richly evolved person as a result. 

Today, as a result of that lovely email from The Universe, I am reaping one of those unexpected lessons that I always find such a delight.  I've shifted my habitual tendency to view past loves with predominantly wistful perspective.  Mind you, I don't dwell in sadness or negative thoughts in regard to every single romantic relationship I've had - many of them make me smile when I look back. 

I just happened to feel very struck by the quote above - having loved anyone, anything, anytime, is never wasted or misplaced energy.  I have always firmly believed that to be written in stone fact.  I do not regret loving anyone.  I have, however, regretted some of the outcomes.  The above quote magically lifted that need from my heart - it is simply unnecessary.  Instead, I choose to focus, from this point forward, on the fact that by the simple, open hearted act of loving, this can be nothing but positive, uplifting and lasting.  Perhaps we might not see the repercussions and outward ripples of our moments of love, but they happen.  Perhaps we cannot reach into someone else's heart and change their perspective to just simply appreciate the fact that love was given and received.  Indeed, we can change nothing but our own perspective. I would suggest that by shifting how we feel about those past loves doesn't mean the bad stuff ceases to have happened - it just means that we can release some of the burden we've carried in relation to those past loves.

I am not, by any means, intimating that if you have lost a loved one to death, that you should not grieve that loss.  That is a process all its own and deserves your time and attention to reach a balanced point of acceptance.  I will say that I see, quite often, people who have become stuck in the grieving process to the point that that is who they become - "My name is...and I lost this person to death."  They cannot move beyond the grief to recognize that they are no longer the vibrant, wonderful person their loved one would wish them to be today.  So, I say this gently to everyone reading this post - if you have lost in love, whether it is because one person needed to move on apart from you, or whether it was from losing a loved one to death - think of shifting your perspective.

I'm sharing the quote above with you in the hopes that it gives you one of those moments to ponder that I experienced myself. It is up to you how you receive the statement and how you feel, think and react to it. One immutable point is this: if you have loved, you are/were existing in the most positive energy it is possible to feel on this planet. We cannot see love, except perhaps in the happy faces of the ones upon which we bestow this gift. Love isn't concrete or tangible to touch, unless maybe we're talking about loving touches, embraces, etc.

Rather than eternally grieving the loss of any love, endlessly looking back with regret, for anyone or anything, contemplate celebrating that love existed. Let me repeat that I am not writing this to tell anyone how to think or feel about love.  I was changed by the email message in my Inbox and wanted to share it with you. Celebrate that love has happened numerous times in your life and recognize it in a positive manner.  Be joyful! Love is an energetic presence.  It has a physical, lasting energy that never dies.

And that does change everything.

17 comments:

  1. Thanks again Dawn, I'm going to sign up for the service...you can never have enough positive messages in your life. It's so easy to go to the negative side of anything & love is no different. Love is always worth the pain that you may find because the joy far outweighs the pain. Always look for love & your life will be better.

    Hugs,

    Bill

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  2. hi dawnie, i also am going to sign up for this service, and did gain some insight/ different angle to talke a look at the love relationships in my past. i'll probably need to read this a couple of more times to take it all in. very good my friend. jane

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  3. first of all i wanted to say that it is wonderful that you pay attention to those paralising moments - the moments we connect with our higher minds in my opinion. it is such a nesessary thing for everyone to just listen to themselves and take a notice. second, i absolutely share every word you said about love. i really don't like dividing love on bad and good, right and wrong. there's just that - your heart opening itself to another person, with an absolute readyness and exceptance of all the potential pain that it can give you. it is the most beautiful thing in the world. i believe when we love, we are as close to god as it can be. because god is love.
    this is a great article - thank you Dawn so much for your wisdom and love. you're a beautiful soul.
    love you, Nata.

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  4. Bill and Jane, thanks (as always) for the comments! You're both going to love the Tut Notes/Notes from the Universe. It takes a few days for the emails to kick in after registration, and then they come about once a week, maybe more occasionally.

    "Always look for love & your life will be better." Wow, Bill - let's put that one on a t-shirt and/or bumper sticker!!! Such a great statement.

    Jane, I find my own mind continuing to process through this new perspective today. I'll probably re-read my own post a few times over the next week or so! Anything that frees us up from regrets or negative emotions can only be a good, positive action.

    ~ Dawn

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  5. Natasha, I love your perspective. "No dividing love, good or bad, right/wrong." I agree with you! Your post had such depth and thoughtfulness that it gave me chills to read. That's why posting comments on blogs is so important - you continue to learn and grow from hearing other peoples' reactions to your words. Thank you, dear one, for reading my work and being so encouraging & supportive!

    Love back to you, Nata.
    ~ Dawn

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  6. What a great post! I'm not good at bearing my heart, but I do embrace that quote "Better to have loved and lost, then to not have loved at all."

    I needed this today, because I need to know if I should allow myself to fall. My heart wants to, but common sense says "No, Marty. Don't do it." And then, if I allow myself, would if she doesn't fall? I guess that's the beauty of love. It teaches us to feel again.

    Your friend,

    Marty

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  7. I think we all have those feelings of trepidation about allowing ourselves to take that final step over the precipice to falling completely in love, Marty. It's natural to want to protect your heart. Obviously, you're the only one who can make the final decision on taking that step. You're absolutely right - that's definitely the beauty of love. It means we open up to a whole world of experiences.

    Thank you for taking time to read and to post a comment, my friend. Your words are always of value to me!

    ~ Dawn

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  8. Note to everyone, I noticed the second hyperlink for Tut Notes page had duplicated, so I went back and corrected the error. Apologies for the oversight!

    ~ Dawn

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  9. keep sharing with us, please....I will waiting your up date everyday!! Have a nice and relax day!........................................

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  10. Signed up for these quotes this morning. I'm excited! (8D

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  11. Marty, you'll love the Tut Notes!

    I believe the post just before Marty's belongs to someone using the name Ulyssesreck? Thank you for your kind words - it made me smile to know you look forward to my posts! I promise to get back to posting a bit more regularly very soon!

    ~ Dawn

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  12. What I got from this was a strong realization of gratitude. Love, like a pebble in the pond ripples concentrically outward to wash over many areas of our life. Even in those moments when our heart rejoices in having someone, it still remembers the song it sung even in their absence. It truly changes everything...Thanks for the thoughts and your link. I cannot wait for the knock on my door from the universe, thanks too for your knock!

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  13. Hi Tony, thank you for taking time to visit my page and read this post. I love that so many people are checking into the Tut Notes from The Universe and deciding to register - I am confident that you and everyone else will enjoy it as much as I do!

    "...a strong realization of gratitude..." I appreciate you offering these thoughts because that was my intent for the post. Looking forward to seeing you around!

    ~ Dawn

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  14. *pushes the "Like" button*

    I like to think that love, no matter how misguided or mistaken, does good things for your soul. Perhaps I'm just deluding myself, but it's still a nice thought!

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  15. Jenn, if you're deluding yourself, then I am jumping into that delusional state w/ both feet! ;-) I agree w/ you 100% and appreciate you taking time to post a comment. Here's to much, much more "doing good things for your soul"!!!!

    ~ Dawn

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  16. This kind of reminded me of your "It's funny how" post. Just as circumstances of the past can prepare us better for the tasks at hand in the present, relationships of the past can do the same. It does no good to live in regret or to remain in pain. This isn't to say that when our hearts break we need to immediately get over it. As Mariah Carey said in one of her older songs, "Love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much." But some people remain in that hurt & don't move on, the past cripples them & keeps them from experiencing joy & new relationships. I agree that we should "contemplate celebrating that love existed."

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  17. Anahid, I'm an inveterate lyric quoter too! I almost always correlate important life moments with song lyrics - there's always a song out there that speaks to whatever you're currently experiencing.

    There are definitely people who cannot find a way to release from past relationships, and that was a key reason that I wrote this post.

    On a personal level, I also wrote this post because I just was captivated with how pure and simple the Tut Notes from The Universe quote was. It boiled the process down to a very clear, refined statement that just took all the struggle and gnashing of teeth out of it! (lol) Simply choose to shift your thought process - I LOVE when I stumble across pithy comments like that, so I had to share it!

    Thanks for visiting, reading and leaving me a wonderful comment - I appreciate you!

    ~ Dawn

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