Friday, April 29, 2011

Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. IV, April 2011

Photo courtesy of
Bing images
A friend mentioned on her Facebook wall today that she had insulted her cell phone by dropping it in tanning oil. This drew me inevitably into a typical spiral of thought.  I had to ask the obvious question:  "More importantly, does the cell phone now have a lovely peachy warm glow?"  Because that's the whole point of tanning oil, yes?  I say "peachy warm glow" because that's about as close to tan as my skin gets.  I got slapped with all the Irish genes in the family, while my brother, sister and Mom got the Cherokee genes.  Unfair, I say.  They all have that lovely true red-olive undertone to their skin and they stay dark year round.  I have to work really hard to get anything resembling a tan, with the result being that I look like a peach with a smattering of freckles.  *sigh* 
And I blame all this angst on the warm weather that will demand short skirts, sandals and more exposed skin.  In order to not blind unsuspecting onlookers, I'll probably have to bite the bullet and go for a fake tanner of some kind.  At least then, freckles can be avoided across the nose.  It's a trifle lowering to look like I'm twelve years old all over again, so fake tanning is the best option.  If this friend hadn't gone and dumped her cell phone into the tanning oil, I could probably have avoided this approaching dilemma for another couple of weeks....

Who decided that Red Velvet Cake needed to be...well...RED??  And who thinks it really tastes good?  I guess a lot of people do, considering how popular it is.  To me, it tastes like a mouthful of sugary, bitter, red food coloring.  But then, so do Peeps.  Another friend (you know who you are...Marticus) literally lives for Peeps!  It is one of his Happy Places, when Peeps hit the shelves.  These days, they're pretty much a year round presence, in the guise of all manner of critters and creatures.  They still taste like sugary, bitter food coloring to me. 

Which brings me to birds.  The real, live, chirpy kind.  Specifically, wrens.  The ones that keep climbing inside the exhaust vents outside my kitchen wall, finding some bizarre hidden opening into the townhouse, and ending up in my upstairs master bathroom.  Twice, so far.  Dawnie to the rescue, again, twice.  My question is, wouldn't you think they'd get that the first experience wasn't all that fun, and that a second one makes zero sense?  I would think that, but I guess I don't think in a wren-birdy fashion, because they're building yet another nest in the danged vent.  Chicken wire over the vents (both of them) has been my request and strong suggestion to the maintenance crew of this complex, but hey, what do I know?  They, the maintenance people, keep ignoring me and just keep tearing out the nest.  Clearly, they're not familiar with how tenacious wrens are with nesting habits.  I predict more wren home infiltration in my near future. 

I am writing this Grasshopper post because it's late...2:00 am....and I'm hyped up from being overly tired, and this is a way to attempt to quiet my mind.  Yesterday the southeastern United States was hit by a series of terrible, destructive storms.  Death tolls were very high and damages were extreme. I spin my litany of Grasshopper Thoughts, I reflect on how blessed I am that I can sit here and yammer on about the very minor challenge of wren home invasions.  I'm blessed that I know where my cell phone is, that I know where all my possessions are, for that matter....rather than being in the position of being homeless in the aftermath of a tornado.  Tomorrow, I will continue to focus concentrated thought, energy and Light towards those who have been so deeply affected by this bad weather event.  I will volunteer my time in the coming weeks and I will be appreciative of the fact that although last night was scary, I came through it intact, with a roof over my head and all my loved ones safe and unharmed.  That's a fitting end to a Grasshopper Jaunt, if ever there was one.


  1. Really happy that you came out safe..I was worried yesterday morning when I heard about the deaths & destruction . My wife and I were laughing yesterday because for the first time she has a tan
    one of the benefits of living here I guess

  2. Jim, the whole time I lived in Tampa (a little over two years), I never got a tan. Can you imagine?! I was always inside in a corporate setting during daylight hours. I'm glad to be able to sit at my laptop and write in the security and safety of my own home too, given the storm activity and destruction all around me. I look at each day as an incredible blessing. Thanks, as always, for visiting! :)

    San, I don't think you could've responded in a more perfect manner! I am seconding that Amen!

    Much love to you both,


  3. I'm so with you on this one Dawnie. I always reflect on the small miracles while drifting off to bed that I love, my new comforter set, the little heater I keep beside the bed and on and on. However, in light of the last few days, my gratitude for these wonderful blessings are so profound. My gratitude so flows out of my heart in such a new way. Thanks for this reminder sweet girl. Janie

  4. Janie, contrast is always there if we take time to recognize it, right?! Sometimes I wish we didn't need such dramatic reminders to be appreciative. But hey, my mind probably wouldn't grasshopper quite so well without a little drama here and there! I'm so glad this post struck a chord for you. :) <3

    Much love,

  5. Haha... You did NOT out me about my peep eating... haha...

    And didn't you and I have a conversation about Red Velvet cake? I hate that stuff.

    It's suppose to be all amazing and stuff and be chocolate cake's superior, and then it literally sucks.

    I guess once you go black, you never go back.

    So I'm back to my dark chocolate cake.

    And yes, I quoted P.Diddy.


  6. LOL...I am mystified that you don't find the same flavor profile from red velvet cake to Peeps, seriously! They really do taste similar to me from the food coloring. And YOU outed yourself, sparking laughter in TN w/ your comment. Plus, you delight me w/ the fact that we're both dark chocolate afficionados - we can always bond over that one! So, go on w/ your P.Diddy quoting self, and save some dark chocolate cake for me. :)

    ~ Dawn

  7. Thank you for dredging up my horrifying memories of red velvet cake. Oh, the humanity. There was turmoil, lots of shouting, riots, death threats...*shiver*

    Ok, I probably made all that up. All I know is that when I think of red velvet cake, I cringe. Since I can't remember what it tastes like (and there's no way I'm going to try it and see), there must be *some* kind of bad memory associated with it.

    I also remember the sound of birds in our kitchen vents when I was little! I don't think they ever made it in, or ever nested, but I do remember they were very loud.

    Thanks for the memories, Dawnie!!! Even if I do owe you something bad for one of them. :P

  8. LOL...Dave, snort-larfing is happening in TN! Seriously, you had me laughing serveral times. I feel your pain on the cringe-inducing qualities of red velvet cake, and no, I don't get the allure of it either. I promise to never, ever, hand-over-heart, make you (or Marticus) eat red velvet cake. And this is an easy promise to keep, because I won't ever make or purchase one!

    Apparently I'm the sole lucky person to experience wren home invasion via kitchen vents on a regular basis. I do not count this as a coup to be proud of, mind you. As for the something bad you owe me, I am not scared. We live on opposite sides of the continent, after all. ;p Of course, you're possessed of a devious mindset (which I admire greatly) on occasion, so perhaps I'll just treat it as one of those "let's wait and see what he comes up with to startle the petunias out of me" kind of things. And I shall shore up the petunias, just in case. ;-)

    ~ Dawnie

  9. Dave, Duane, and Dawn if anyone serves you up some red velvet cake I will happily eat your slices.

    Dawn I too have inherited the Irish ghost glow. My coping mechanism is delusion. I just pretend when people are blinded by my white legs that they are really being blinded by my beauty. I also take comfort in the fact that I won't be as likely to get skin cancer since I avoid sun exposure.

  10. Just Another Thought Online...HA! As far as coping mechanisms go, delusion works for me too! And hey, not only will you and I have less skin cancer worries, we'll also look a heck of a lot younger than our contemporaries who tanned. I see it already, I have to admit, and I bless the genetics that gave me the Irish glow and oily skin. Well, until it's time to wear shorts and sandals, then I get a trifle self-conscious.

    Thanks for the chuckles! :)

    ~ Dawn