We all know the basic rules - you can't have day without night, hot without cold, light without dark, happy without sad. Subsequently that old axiom of "All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl" truly has merit and weight to it. When I begin to feel smothered in this manner, I know it is time to step back. So, recognizing that certain frustrations have been building within as I'm racing madly down the road to a serious lack of balance, my thoughts turn to the exact opposite of my current daily existence. In a word...FREEDOM.
Specific to my current frame of mind, freedom represents making a living doing what I love. Not being chained to a dead-end existence in corporate America, as that experience always slowly saps my vitality and energy. I chose to leave that world and pursue my own path with freelance writing. Yes, I am accomplishing that goal in slow and sure steps. Yet there is a niggling sense of frustration and lack that tells me I am getting in my own way. I tend to excel at dancing with this particular nemesis. So, with this recognition comes knowledge that it is time to stop. Simply stop everything and just be.
At times such as these, I always reflect on the few true vacations I've taken. One in particular was a 12 day trip to Hawaii. I went with a group of friends and because of the time zone changes wreaking havoc with my Circadian rhythms, I regularly awakened fairly early. Now, if you know me even slightly, you're aware that I'm not a morning person. Not even close! But during that time in Hawaii, I would wake up before the majority of my room mates, shower, dress and take a walk around the neighborhood where our hotel was located. Across the street was a Catholic church that was always open and I would stop there to sit in the quiet, holy space, listening to the birds singing and just soak in that blissful feeling of freedom we have on vacation.
I loved it - I chose what to do each day and I answered to no one but myself and the group of people I was with. No bosses, no phone calls, nothing but my own personal choices and whims for the day. I can remember being clearly conscious of the delight of that daily existence, feeling the surge of endorphins and pleasure coursing through me that freedom brings. This is what I need to find a way to incorporate in my life now.
Law of Attraction concepts dictate that unless we are feeling joyful, we are out of balance and out of connection with the Source, that which we call God/Universe/Spirit...the names for Divine Energy are numerous. I am feeling that disconnect and it is manifesting as frustration and dissatisfaction. Yet these same unbalanced emotions are tools. I am now at a point in my life and evolution where I am able to identify these potential obstacles much sooner than in the past. I am happy for this awareness, as it allows me to consciously shift and adjust more quickly. It isn't always easy or enjoyable, but it is necessary. It is also not feasible for most of us to live in an eternal vacation mindset. This is not what I am suggesting in this post; I mean more for us to access the pure happiness we experience when on vacation and create an environment that encourages those feelings to manifest daily. I have stumbled with this in my own personal daily experience, so it is time to recalibrate.
This moment in my life is high charged and delicately balanced. Webster's Dictionary defines the word Fulcrum thusly:
1 a : prop; specifically : the support about which a lever turns b : one that supplies capability for actionThis is what I feel to be taking place - I am at one of those pivotal points. I can ignore the warning flags and emotions and continue to create more of a tangle in various areas of my life, or I can heed these emotions and be proactive. Obviously I am choosing the latter. This is not to say I am in the midst of crisis or impending doom; to the contrary, life is good. What I am focused on is making it better, and keeping a weather eye on anything that distracts me from embracing happiness and feeling a true sense of satisfaction in my existence.
What will this produce, this moment out of time? I have no idea. The main goal of the whole exercise is to just be. I am promising myself a day of bliss in whatever form that manifests. No contracts will be thought about; looming deadlines will not exist, bills can wait and troublesome connections are relegated to a distant back burner. I am taking a personal holiday and re-establishing the bonds within myself with the dreams I came here to accomplish. The laws of quantum physics and nature dictate that energy given is energy that returns, amplified. My intention is to dwell in an energetic mindset that is positive, happy and open to all that is good. Negative energies and people who get in the way of this objective are stumbling blocks that distract us all from dwelling in perfect accord and balance with our purpose and dreams. The amplified energies that return to me are within my ability to shepherd and guide. This is my own gentle reminder to myself that I chart my own course, and it is healthy and intelligent to choose happiness and freedom.