Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Astonishing light

Photo:  www.messagenote.com
It was a small thing, really.  Just a quick glance, a social smile shared between strangers walking into a building.  He politely held the door in a gentlemanly manner, allowing me to precede him inside. Yet something about him seemed sad to me.  We separated in the foyer of the building, going in opposite directions.  I accomplished the business that I came there to do and walked back outside.

It was a stultifying, hot summer day.  We were in the grip of a killing heat wave and drought at the time, so I wasn't inclined to linger in the parking lot.  Yet, I did linger.  I glanced about and noticed an ornamental park with benches in the shade.  I can't explain why I chose to walk in that direction and sit on one of those benches, but I did it.  The heat was oppressive, so much that not even the wildlife seemed to have the energy to make accustomed nature sounds.  It was quiet in the manner only a humid summer day can be.

Perhaps five minutes after I sat down, steps approached and paused, causing me to look up.  It was the man with the sad eyes, holding two frosty bottles of water.

"Can I join you?" 

I smiled and nodded, and he offered me one of those bottles of water.

"I saw you through the foyer window and thought something cold might be appreciated," he said.

I accepted the kind gesture and we began to chat.  I could tell something was beneath the surface causing his eyes to look sad, but I didn't probe or press.  He was kind and cordial, and the conversation was pleasant.  We discovered a few things in common, discussed the local area, and drank our cold water in the shade, sitting on that park bench.  It occurred to me that I had snacks in my purse and I pulled out two packages of those cheese crackers with peanut butter.  When I offered him one, he appeared to be delighted.

"A feast!" was his comment.  We munched in companionable silence.  Another several minutes passed, with more conversation.

Finally, he looked at me with a very serious expression.

"Today, I was going to go home and turn the gas stove on in my kitchen, blow out the pilot light and let nature take its course.  I felt that I had no other choice.  I went into that building to visit my lawyer and make sure all my legal papers were in order so that my family would be taken care of."

This was the cause of the sadness behind his eyes.  I knew that whatever was happening in his life, I was not qualified to counsel him properly and I said as much.  He smiled, shook his head and placed a hand over my own.

"You're imminently qualified, young lady.  There's a light about you.  A brightness in your smile that you shared with me when we both walked into that building.  You didn't have to even look at me, but you took a moment to acknowledge me...and really SEE me.  It mattered, and I wanted to thank you.  I was hoping I would see you before you left that building.  And somehow, I got lucky."

We talked some more, and he revealed that his business had failed due to the lagging economy.  His house went into foreclosure and he wasn't able to continue to pay for his two kids' college tuition.  I didn't have a lot of advice to offer; mostly, I just listened.  He was a lovely man. Clearly intelligent, well spoken, obviously very well mannered, and just as obviously tormented on a very elemental level.  We did not know one another at all, save for that unexpected meeting at the front door of an office building, and a shared impromptu drink and snack on a park bench.  For me, it was a moment to simply be there for another person who was troubled.  I never once felt uncomfortable, or pressed to create a miracle.  I didn't have that  power.  This man's life was in an admittedly challenging place.  I doubted seriously that anything I could offer could make much of a difference.  What I did know was that listening was something I could do.  So, that's what I did.

We lingered there for about 90 minutes, in that humid summer day.  I refrained from using the word "should" in any part of that conversation, simply because I strongly felt that he didn't need to hear what I thought he should do.  I figured he had probably heard many "you should's" as he struggled to cope with the challenges in his life.  I did ask him to seek some form of counseling, because the thought of this very kind man ending his life alone, defeated and sad was heart breaking.  I also asked him to take my phone number and promise me that he would text me, at the very least, for the next five days, so that I knew he hadn't given in to the temptation of his earlier plan to end his life.  He agreed to this request.

Eventually, our conversation ended.  We sat in silence and he finally looked at me and smiled again.  To my eyes, it appeared that the sadness had eased somewhat behind his eyes.

He stood and offered a firm handshake, then gathered the debris of our water bottles and snack wrappers.  He took them to a garbage can, then returned to walk with me towards our cars in the parking lot.

I wanted to hug him, but refrained because I didn't want to presume or cause any awkwardness.  We stopped at my car and I smiled and reminded him of his promise to text me for five days.

"I will do that.  In return, I want you to promise me that if a day hits for you in the future where you feel sad, or defeated, or that you're not making a mark on the world, promise me that you'll call me.  Maybe then I can return the favor.  You made a difference today, and you did it with a smile and being a genuinely beautiful person.  God bless you."

And with that, he put a hand briefly on my shoulder, then he walked away to his own car.  In the proceeding five days, I received a single text each day that said, simply, "I'm still here."  On the sixth day, the text that came said, "I'm smiling again."

These days, he occasionally sends a random text, and we have developed a friendship that is solid.  I have met his family; his children are now back in college, and he and his wife are in a stable living situation.  He is in a different career and seems to be recovering well.

Why am I relating this story?  I don't know.  I actually thought that I would never share it on a public level.  I never felt it was my story to reveal.  And for the most part, I remain devoted to protecting this friend's privacy by not giving his name or any other personal information.  The other day, I read a quote on Facebook that has always been one of my favorites.  It was on my sidebar on my Facebook page and it was from the "On this day in 2010, this was your status..." section.

This is what my status was on that day in 2010:

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being. - Hafiz
Obviously, I found that quote to be beautiful when I posted it to my Facebook wall in 2010, and when I saw the repeat post on my sidebar, I was prompted to share this story.  I posted the quote again on my Facebook wall, and added this comment:

*How's that for a good reminder of our own beauty?* 
I didn't have any special skills, or any magical answers for this gentleman that I met unexpectedly that summer day.  Something...a set of circumstances...brought us together and I was led to take the steps that I did.  Happily, they resulted in a positive outcome, with not only this man choosing a different outcome, but with a genuine friendship that continues to this day.  The above Hafiz quote was a good reminder to me that many times, we're given chances to make a difference.  And sometimes, that difference can occur just from sharing that "astonishing light of our own being".  Sometimes, many times, that alone is more than enough to make a profound difference.




41 comments:

  1. This story is the perfect example of living an authentic life, in the moment, with your eyes open. I loved it.

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  2. Leah, thank you. I just related to another dear friend that I was very unsure about publishing this article. Mainly because it's such a personal story, even if I didn't reveal names or dates. I also wasn't sure how it would be received, but I attempted to convey that it wasn't a desire for self-aggrandizement. That Hafiz quote is so powerful, and it resonated strongly for me and prompted me to share this story. I am happy, from your comment, to know that it struck the chord I was seeking. Many thanks!

    - Dawn

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  3. A beautiful example of living in the moment, openly being there, unconditionally... Through the years, I’ve discovered listening is one of life’s most unbelievably skills that really matter.

    You managed it that day, despite the heat and I don’t suppose you'll ever realise the profound affect you had on the guy’s life... My quote today is 'On that day Thank god you were simply there'

    Love you Dawn Sister x

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  4. Jane-my-love, what a perfectly apt quote, "On that day, thank God you were simply there." I agree, and I am appreciative of the Divine Order that placed the two of us in that same moment. Listening is a beautiful thing, you're so spot on about that. We get caught up in Life and overlook that simple thing quite often. That day, I was in the right place at the right time, and somehow it all turned out well. I'm glad I was brave enough to share this.

    Much love to you, Jane Sister. XOXO <3

    Dawn

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  5. A beautiful story. A reminder to stop and appreciate what's around us and not to get to caught up in the rat race

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  6. Kerrie, that's the challenge on a daily basis, yes? To not get so caught up in the madness of daily living that we overlook those powerful moments. Thank you for your thoughts and your visit.

    - Dawn

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  7. This is an incredible story and I am very grateful that it is starting my week. Thank you.

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  8. Even the act of listening makes a world of difference to some people. Thanks for the beautiful post.

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  9. Thank you for sharing this story with us. Fate bring us together if we're meant to be

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  10. Dawn,

    Okay, I have to admit that my super sensitive self couldn't help but let the tears flow while reading this. What a beautiful story and what a difference you made.

    But to be quite honest, it doesn't surprise me. He is right, there is a light about you dear sister, and I think that you would truly be surprised at the difference you make on a daily basis, perhaps without even being aware of the extent.

    One of my favorite quotes, by Leo Buscaglia, "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around"

    You, dear friend, had an immense impact, not only upon his life, but also those of his family & friends - that began with a sincere smile and an honest look into another's eyes.

    I am both very glad and honored that you chose to share this story with us. Never underestimate the impact your sparkles have upon others dear sister!

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  11. Thank you for sharing this powerful story with us, Dawn. It shows that a simple gesture of eye contact with another can make a huge difference...that and the fact that you followed your feeling to go sit on that bench in the heat.

    Many get so involved in their own little world that they ignore those tiny voices within which can guide them into amazing opportunities and experiences. Your article is a wonderful reminder at how important connecting with others is.

    Hope you're doing well. Love, light & hugs to you.

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  12. Yes Dawn. Many a people don't need anything but our presence & a considerate listening. This will have a soothing effect due to the opportunity afforded to share.

    Read with interest & liked it.

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  13. I agree with your other readers Dawn...thank you so much for sharing this with us. I think we tend to underestimate the power of making a connection with another person...even if it is as fleeting as a smile. Your energy and way of being shines -- I have not met you in person but I can sense that, even through cyberspace! Someone once told me that a smile can sometimes be the most precious gift...and we may never know the impact it has on another's life. Your story highlights this in the most beautiful way. Yes, your light is astonishing, and it shines from within. Continue being the beautiful soul that you are.

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  14. Just being with the other person... not talking just being is sometimes the most powerful action one can do. Through my practice and teaching I have found that students sometimes are not there to hear or be preached to but just to have that hand or look of I know.....I care or you are special....
    Hugs

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  15. Christine, thank you so much for visiting! I'm happy you enjoyed this story. And your comment that it started your week out on a positive note - that just made my heart smile. :)

    Dawn

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  16. Janu, this is the lesson I learned from that experience. - that small things can have a huge impact. I knew that on an intellectual level, of course, but that moment in time dramatically underscored it. These days, I am much more mindful of those small gestures, because I now know how powerful something as simple as a smile for a stranger can be. Thank you for visiting and leaving such a lovely thought; I just finished visiting your blog in return & commenting on the wonderful Chaplin post. :)

    - Dawn

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  17. Larry, such a strong truth you mentioned! Fate definitely played a dynamic hand that day. Two strangers were brought together for a specific reason. I look back on it and feel a very solid sense of purpose that existed in that moment, and somehow I was privileged to be a part of it. Thank you for visiting! :)

    - Dawn

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  18. P.S. Larry, I was unable to access either link on your Blogger title page. It is my habit to always reciprocate on comments left here, by visiting that person's page. I wasn't able to do that with your links today, but will attempt it again tomorrow. Perhaps it's just a Blogger snafu. :)

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  19. Bernadine...when I think my heart can't grow any more in love with you, it does. Yes, it's that simple. You humble and honor me with your sincerity, sweetheart. I have admitted several times in this thread and on my FB wall that this post was one I wrestled with. I almost didn't publish it for a wide range of reasons, but finally, I took a leap of faith. It appears that I did the right thing, as this is resonating so strongly for so many. As for your beautiful and kind words about me, thank you. You see something special and bright in me and that in and of itself is equally unique. "Sparkles"...you used that word, and I am happy to say that I hear it fairly often as a description of my nature. That so many people who love me see this same trait, well, that just makes me happy. I love you beyond words, sweet girl. Thank you for the time, love and emotion you put into your comment. <3

    - Dawn/Sparkles

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  20. NauticalCottageBlog - Marie, I just finished visiting your new WP site and it's gorgeous! You have such a professional presentation going on over there; I am very impressed! Now, for your comment here...you know me well enough to know that willingly sitting in the heat on a summer day is unusual for me. I still don't know what prompted me to do so, other than a Divine Guidance. I'm glad I heeded that inner prompting. I'm doing well, chickadee and hope you are also. We need to catch up via email or phone soon! I love you. <3

    - Dawn

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  21. Pushhyarag, I just finished visiting your post on Resonance and loved it! I enjoyed your thoughts there, as well as the comment you offered here. I am happy you resonated with this topic. :)

    - Dawn

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  22. Bec, I look forward to the day we get that girlfriend afternoon planned! Your light shines brightly also, sweetheart. "A smile can sometimes be the most precious gift..." Indeed. I embrace that awareness so much these days. I simply love how you think, honey, and I get all kinds of happy when I see that you've visited & posted a comment here. Much love to you. <3

    Namaste',

    - Dawn

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  23. Dawnie, what a beautiful story!!! It doesn't surprise me in the least, though. The light you bring to a lot of lives is something we all cherish.

    For a moment, when you were talking about the importance of listening and all of that, I thought this might be taking the place of your comment on my "Sympathy" post. Since it obviously is much more than that, I'd love to know what you were going to say.

    If Blogger's comments are working for you, at least.

    Anyway, back to this post. I know you didn't share this story to toot your own horn, and I totally agree with your reasoning for ultimately doing it. But allow us to toot it for you.

    You are a very special person, Dawn. And while I obviously can't say that you show it to me every day, you do show it to me whenever our journeys cross paths.

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  24. That was a very sweet and touching story. Glad you could make a difference.

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  25. Dawn, I’ve always suspected you were an angel. And now I know. Because you heeded that inner unction to sit on that bench on a certain day in the sweltering heat.
    And just look at the miracle! You saved a man’s life just by being. Not doing a thing, just being your beautiful charming brilliant self.
    And I’m so grateful you did share this inspiring story girl! Amazing!

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  26. Dave, I promise to revisit your "Sympathy" post as soon as Blogger stops giving me fits. Don't let me forget that, because I do have things to say on that one. It has taken me hours tonight to respond to everyone here, w/ the Blogger buggyness. I so appreciate your thoughts here, my friend. You and I laugh together a great deal, because we share a similar sense of humor. But we also do that "journeys crossing paths" thing that you so beautifully described. Those moments are equally special to my heart. Thank you for understanding the message I worked to convey here, and for confirming I hit the right note. Much love to you, buddy! <3

    Dawnie

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  27. Anna, thank you, sweetheart! I'm glad I was able to make a difference, also. Both on that day and here, by sharing the story. I love it when you visit. :)

    Love to you,

    Dawn

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  28. Debra, you humble me. Truly. That day, I didn't feel I did as much as I should have. I guess it's natural to second guess and doubt. I did what I knew to do, which was listen and share some smiles and that sweet snacky moment. This friend still gives me boxes of peanut butter on cheese crackers as gifts on special occasions! That day, all the planets aligned for both of us, and for that, I'm appreciative. I do look back on it as a pivotal moment, where I feel I did the right thing and made a difference. The biggest beauty of it, for me, was that I gained a friend. Doesn't get better than that. Thank you, darling girl, for your lovely thoughts here. I will not forget them and I am always delighted with your friendship.

    Loving you,

    Dawn

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  29. P.S. To Dave Roy, Anna Walls and Debra El-Ramey, I promise to visit all of your blogs later this week (it may be as late as Sunday) to enjoy your own work. Blogger is not letting me access comments tonight with much success on other blogs. I do promise to follow up, though & wanted to make sure you all three know this. Love to you all.

    - Dawn

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  30. Another one of those "littles" but yet not little at all, but life changing. How often do we encounter angels unaware in our life and are in tune with what the important things, the things of eternal value and take the time to notice and give of ourselves. I would categorize this as a life changing event not only for this gentleman but for you! Another reason I love you so. Janie

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  31. Janie, you hit on something I've given much thought to over the years. The angels unaware thing. I think that many times, WE are used as the vehicle in an "angels unaware" manner. Something beyond myself prompted me to sit on that park bench that afternoon, as it was completely outside of the norm for me to do in the extreme heat of that summer day. I also felt that my responses to that lovely man were being guided, because I was sure that by myself, I might not have been so sure with the words I was offering. Yes, this was a life changing event for me as well, and I look back on it as one of those moments out of time where I can clearly hallmark the day as unique. I love you in return, Janie-girl. Thank you for visiting! :)

    Dawnie

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  32. Living in the moment is the only way to live. I have learned that over the past 14 years. Thank you Dawn for such a beautiful post that renews my faith in people such as yourself.

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  33. Judy, it's so good to see your name here - it's been a long time! I'm happy this article hit a positive note for you. And I agree, living in the moment does matter; we tend to focus a lot on the past, or the future, and we lose those immediate moments occasionally. Thank you so much for the lovely comment!

    - Dawn

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  34. Making a difference, what a beautiful happening in your life. thank you for sharing. It is an inspiration.

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  35. We've never met, but I suspect you emanate love and compassion!

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  36. This story got me choked up. It made me want to happy-cry. Thank you for sharing. {{{Love to you.}}}

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  37. I apologize to everyone who has posted since September 8th and not received a response from me; I took a long weekend vacation and am just now getting back into work mode.

    Jan, I agree with you - this was a beautiful happening in my life. It was one of those watershed moments that I will never forget, because it dramatically underscored how something so small can have such a large impact. Thank you for visiting!
    ____________________

    Mari, what a truly lovely thing to say! I am smiling in response, and tearing up a bit, because that's just my nature when someone offers me such a beautiful compliment. I always say that my loving nature is a tribute to my wonderful family, so your comment honors the beautiful ones who raised me. Thank you, dear friend. <3

    _____________________

    Canyn, I love the "happy-cry"! Sometimes that is just the best thing to polish up the heart and Spirit, yes? Thank you, honey. You gave me smiles in return. Love right back to you, in abundant measure! <3

    Namaste' to each of you,

    Dawn

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  38. Dawn it has been a while since I have rested my eyes on your blog. I am glad I came here today. This piece soothed my soul. I am so happy you were there that day for your friend. Perhaps he was a reminder to you in that moment of your inner light. Thanks for sharing this story and inspiring us to always tap into the special'ness we have inside. It is easy to forget and get sidetracked in this busy world.

    http://lyricfire.typepad.com/lyric-fire/2011/09/lyric-fire-who-am-i-soul-inner-viewing.html

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  39. Dawn, you are special and it shows in your posts. I am so glad you sat on that bench and saved a man's life. Hope to meet you someday...:)

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  40. Tameka, I am smiling to read your words. Sometimes the heart just needs a moment of respite, to be soothed and be allowed to exhale. That's what I strive for here at Healing Morning, to create such a space, and occasionally, I feel I hit that mark. I visited your blog in return the other day and so enjoyed what I found there. Namaste', dear one.

    - Dawn

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  41. Sulekkha, thank you for your very kind words here. I'm glad that the events that played out that day had a positive outcome. At the time, I was just sort of feeling my way through it all. Looking back, I am positive that I had a helping of Divine intervention to inspire my words and actions. I hope to meet you someday also! I have said more than once that if I am able to meet even a fraction of the wonderful bloggers I've connected with over the years, my life will be abundantly blessed. Thank you for visiting, sweetheart!

    - Dawn

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