Saturday, June 29, 2013

What is today....

http://beneficialbugs.org/bugs/Honeybee/honeybee2.jpg
What is today?  It's Saturday.  Misty, rainy morning has turned to pure blue skies without a cloud in sight.  That will change, most likely, because it's East Tennessee and change is the one thing that can be depended upon regarding our weather.

I'm icing and elevating a wrenched knee, activity curtailed to a large degree for the next several days to allow some healing.

I would rather be outside on my patio, puttering with my plants, breathing in the heavy, moist summer air, but getting out there requires navigating steps.  So, here I sit.  In my Saturday, with a mind wandering.

My ice pack isn't the best, and beads of condensation have soaked through the kitchen towel to dampen already chilled skin.  A fat honeybee drones by my open window, busily searching out lush blossoms.  Momentarily, he hovers at the window and I am sure that we lock eyes.  If I were outside, I would offer to pet him.  He most likely feels sorry for my temporary trapped state, but he cannot delay his flight and zooms off into the blue.

Time for the ice pack to come off the knee.  Grab my journal and my favorite pen to have on hand for jotting down some personal thoughts after I finish this post.  Antiquing on a Saturday afternoon would be so much more entertaining!  Instead, I address myself.  And this day.  And a sense of hush....of quiet....of space.

So much to do, endless lists and chores, none of which can be accomplished with an injured knee.  Turn inward, where there are equal amount of chores to tend.  Sweep that corner first.  It's been dusty and cluttered with forgotten smiles.  Lift them up and see how they fit today.  Some are crooked.  A few are completely inappropriate and have potential for belly laughs.  One is soft, gentle and reserved for a specific person.  That one stays, hovering in the heart, because it waits to be matched.  The others, I leave tumbled back into disorder, because smiles should never be contained and regimented.

Wander into the next room where words are stacked up.  They lie drunkenly across every surface, wildly rambling, stitching colors together there.  Weaving music over here.  That particular fabric is bright and will probably find a home soon.  The one on that rocking chair belongs with my family, soft and worn and comfortable because it is full of weathered lavender threads that speak of love.  Worn so soft and thin that they appear to be delicate, but the words belie that and create a strength that cannot be harmed.

Oh, look....there's a song right here, on top of a stack of words that zig zag, accordian-style.  The melody jitters and jumps erratically, spilling notes in a trill of sunshine yellow.  Daffodil yellow, and happy like the flower.

I glance at the floor and see my footprints in this place.  Casting a gaze behind me, the footprints show different shapes, different versions of me.  The day I wore those gorgeous red heels and made a mark in the world shows a set of crisp steps, confident and empowered like the color of those heels. The morning that I received shockingly sad news, flip flop footprints slew in a jagged, confused stumble...and are melded with the stance of another who offered strong arms and support.  The day I walked barefoot in the woods of home, these particular steps are of every age I have been....wee child, teenager, young woman....and now.  They meander, they swoop and dash, they dance, they mosey and stroll, those bare feet.  Layering all of the Me that has been this time around.

And now, I step through a doorway hung with a blanket and greet memories of my Granny Reagan.  Sitting in her rocking chair, arms open to receive a little girl with white-blonde hair and an endlessly curious mind.  That day, we walked to the mailbox together and discovered infinite worlds along the way.  I wore my pink patent leather shoes, the dressy ones that are supposed to be reserved for Sundays and church, but what little girl can resist sharing pink patent leather shoes with the world? I wore them every chance I got. I could linger here endlessly....

This bright Saturday with the endless blue skies is an inward journey.  Tidying here, stepping around chaos there, blithely ignoring any outward judgment that anything requires more than an acknowledging sweep of my eyes.  Looking into rooms that should not be touched for a while.  Recognizing others that could do with being emptied, but I repeat the blithely ignoring approach. Who knew that a wrenched knee would guide me here?  The strains of a song accompany me as I emerge back into the Now.  Howie Day's "Collide".

My honeybee friend is back at the window, hovering again, regarding my human self curiously.  This makes me question what message this little guy brings.  Research tells me that the honey bee symbolizes the soul that flies away from the body.  Perhaps that is where my inner journey focused, flitting away from my physical body to traverse the landscape of my Spirit.

I am back now, with bare feet dusted in insubstantial glittery cobwebs of my life.  I am sure that my current Self has left new footprints in there.  


18 comments:

  1. Oh wow, you may be incapacitated in body but certainly not in mind, heart or soul. This was beautiful. I could see everywhere you were going! Lovely....Lori

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    1. Lori, thank you so much! I texted another girlfriend with the news that once again, I've written something that I wondered if people would "get". It appears that you got it with no trouble at all, so that gives me a great big smile! And I love that you were there with me as I drifted about.

      Blessings to you, sweet girl! :)

      - Dawn

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  2. Dawn I was right there with you... I've been there after I had surgery early this year... I could see all the places I wanted to go in my mind and I would wander off occasionally;-)

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    1. Launna, it's fascinating how an injury, or a recovery period from surgery will deliver such strong messages and lessons, yes? I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one who wanders off occasionally, into that personal deep blue!

      - Dawn

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  3. Your words weave such an intricate, touching tapestry of memories and describe perfectly what we experience when we allow our minds to freely wander. What a lovely world you invited us into today, Dawn. You have blessed us!
    Blessings and love!

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    1. Thank you so much, Martha! It was an interesting journey for me, also. Particularly that room with all the forgotten smiles. The lovely part of that was that there were so many of them - smiles - strewn about! That reminded me how richly blessed I am, so I intend to keep that room in the forefront of my thoughts from now on.

      Blessings and love to you in return, sweetheart!

      - Dawnie

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  4. Dawn, what a beautiful weaving of your memories as you walk through the rooms of your life, those little compartments opened by dust in the room of smiles, the blanket of a loving grandparent who is still wrapping you up in Love. As you leave footprints in each room you gather the essence of you....timeless as you journey in your mind, combining past with present...remembering where you came from and who you are today...an amazing Spirit with the Gift of Words that paint a canvas for all of us to see. Thank you sweet Dawn for this opportunity to Journey with you....xx

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    1. Raven, I'm glad you enjoyed walking with me! I had a completely different concept in mind when I sat down to start writing, but the words went in another direction. The result surprised me in a couple of areas, but I'm glad it's making sense to those of you who visit and read! :)

      Thank you, also, for being patient with the vagaries of Blogger and the Comments section!

      Much love,

      - Dawn

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  5. Sorry about your knee but loved your journey through your soul. Thanks so much for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Anna! My knee was the result of a klutz moment a couple of days ago, but it's on the mend. It just forced a much slower weekend for me. I'm glad you enjoyed the trip through my mental cobwebs! :)

      - Dawn

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  6. I love your writing Dawn. It really is a treat to read. I'm sorry about your injury and hope you heal soon. It is funny that at the times we're hurting the most is when we learn the most about ourselves. I heart you!

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    1. Tameka, I owe you an apology - I never received an alert that you had commented on this post! I ran across it just now (07/22/2013). Thank you so much for the lovely words, dear girl! I'm glad you enjoyed this one. <3

      - Dawn

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  7. Sweet Dawnie, I hope you're feeling better. That knee may have slowed you down, but for me, it was worth it as I got to enjoy this beautiful post! It sounds as though you benefited too, visiting all those rooms, and those pink shoes! I just loved this blog Dawn.
    I've been sorting through some memories myself. Separating them like laundry, lights with lights.... No need to judge. All is as it is and it is perfect.
    Please take care of yourself beautiful lady.
    Sending a big hug.
    Leah

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    1. Leah, same apology goes out to you; I never received an alert that you had posted a comment on this article. I like your analogy of sorting laundry/memories - that's what it felt like for me when I stepped in each room in my head. Separating, stacking, trying on for size. It's very therapeutic! Btw, thank you for the hugs and well wishes for the bum knee! It's slowly healing. :)

      Much love! <3

      - Dawnie

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  8. And now you are back with a bang :)
    Welcome back Dawnie..
    so good to see u again.. u've been through lot and here u r on Sat mornin... all freshend up :)

    Awesome read as ever...

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    1. Jyotie, I apologize for the delay in reply. I just discovered today that several people - you among them - had commented on this post. Thank you for the welcome back, chickadee! The day that I posted this one was absolutely a day where I felt all freshened up and renewed!

      Loving you, honey!

      - Dawnie

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  9. Hi I'm Ana from Blogginup.com/en/.

    Blogginup is a community of bloggers in which people follow blogs and add marks to the post or blogs that they like more.
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    Regards! :) xx

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    1. Ana, thank you for the invitation. :)

      - Dawn

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